"Naughty naked sluts!"

“Hey, everyone! Check out the naughty naked sluts!”

The Epsilon Nu Phi pledges stand in a row on the grass of the Old Quad, hands on their heads, legs parted, faces red, every last one stark naked from top to toe. Beth, Kitty and Lily are in the middle of the group. Cass stands to Beth’s left, and Ki stands to Lily’s right. Alice, Parvati and Fiona, all from Meg’s dorm, plus the five girls from the basketball team, make up the numbers.

“What are you, pledges?” barks Tiffany into her megaphone.

“Naughty naked sluts!” chant the pledges in unison, to wolf-whistles and cheers. The loudest cheer comes from Meg, who’s sitting with you under an oak tree, cackling and applauding her friends’ humiliation. Half the campus has turned out to watch the show, including Dr. Mungus and Dean Treadwell, who’ve spread a picnic blanket out across the grass and seem to be getting on very well indeed. Two sorority girls with video cameras, plus countless cell phones, ensure that the whole spectacle is documented for social media and posterity. “We suck! We’re sluts! We’re losers! Epsilon Nu Phi girls rule!”

“That’s right, pledges,” crows Tiffany, as several sorority sisters creep up behind the pledges and take them by surprise by emptying large buckets of ice water over all their heads. The crowd roars its approval as they shriek in outrage. “And who else rules, pledges?”

“Meg!”

“What was that, pledges?”

“Meg rules! We suck!” Kitty’s face in particular is a sight to behold as she chants the degrading syllables, **** to stare directly at her laughing friend. “Meg’s a beautiful genius and queen of the campus! We’re naked for Meg’s pleasure! She tricked us into taking all our clothes off and showing the whole world our tits and pussies!”

“Kitty, just you specifically.”

Kitty took five steps forward, to ensure that all eyes were on her, and shouted in a loud clear voice, “Meg’s smarter than me! Meg’s cooler than me! Meg’s funnier than me! Meg’s better than me in every way! Meg’s awesome, and I’m an embarrassed naked loser! I have to admit that I totally got owned by Meg in front of the whole campus, and I’ll never be able to get back at her in any way, ever, ever, ever, no matter how hard I try! Now, watch me do jumping jacks while I tell you more about how cool Meg is and how much I suck!”

“That’s right, loser! Hahaha!”