"Fair play"

John tried to think of what would be fair. He thought of the years of masturbating in the living room, awkward moments when his mom or sister walked in on him, or even worse his dad coming to join him.

He then thought of Sara going to brag about you to Kaylee.

Maybe I can get away with two rules? He thought.

John decided to try a big rule first. He pondered and came up with:

• If a woman is sexually interested in a man and expresses it out loud, the man is able to dress, undress, and fondle that woman for the next 24 hours without her being aware of it, so long as no harm comes to her. No-one will take exception to it, but everyone but the woman will notice. The woman will subconsciously co-operate and physically react, but nothing will make her consciously aware of what is happening except for the man telling her to notice. If left alone long enough, she will subconsciously restore her clothing.

To his surprise, he found he could enter the rule.

Could he still write another rule, or had he used up his karma? He tried:

• It is considered both polite and fun for a woman to give a male a blow-job if he asks......

Nope: he couldn't press enter. It was too much. But maybe he could write:

• It is considered both polite and fun for a woman to give a male a blow-job if he asks while she is topless....

Nope. How about:

• It is considered both polite and fun for a woman to give a male a blow-job if he asks while she is topless, and it doesn't interfere any plans she has; otherwise she will politely decline.

That one worked.

Okay, that settles things! thought John.

He looked for Sara. She was still texting Kaylee, sitting on the couch. "Done. I guess you can look if you like, but if you want a surprise then don't scroll up."

Sara looked up at John. "Can it possibly be a surprise? To me it will be like nothing has changed."

John said. "I don't think it will have come up very often, if men are less interested in sex. Maybe something out of Penthouse Letters."

Sara smiled skeptically. "You're saying that you've set up a situation which to me will feel like it's from Penthouse Letters? That's you getting even?"

John shrugged. "Well, you made the female-friend-helping-out rule. It's not all zero sum you know," he said.

Kaylee smirked. "Okay then. So, Kaylee still wants to go to the mall. I don't know exactly what kind of thing you and I are now, but do you mind if I go on my own? It's going to be mainly girl talk, you know," she says with a wave suggesting more like what guy talk meant before John changed things.

"Okay," John said. "I can get up to something else." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Remember the roomie rule. No sabotaging!" Sara waggled her finger. "That means things that would sabotage me even if I moved out." She seemed too confident for someone who was actually worried.

"I don't think I'm allowed to forget that rule," John said. "I think I can find something more constructive with my time."