"C'est la vie", say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell

“I suppose you’re all wondering why I called you here tonight.” Rose pushed a set of glasses up her nose. She stood in the center of Master’s Suite wearing a tight black miniskirt and a button-up blouse, and carried a riding crop in her hand. “It’s because one of us has quite a bit of learning to do!” She declared, pointing the riding crop at Mimi, who was sitting on the couch.

“…?” Mimi tilted her head to the side in confusion.

“When I first decided to host this movie marathon, I knew that there was only one person I could turn to for help,” Rose said, ignoring Mimi’s nonchalant reaction in favor of her melodramatic monologue. “Dakota is the only other person here whose knowledge of the cultural touchstones of filmography rivals my own! And that’s why we’ve worked together to come up with the perfect list of movies to increase Mimi’s cultural knowledge!”

Mimi blinked. “Okay…”

“Excellent! Are there any questions?” Rose looked at the others. Mary, Dakota, Holly, and Nick stared back at her.

Dawn raised her hand, squinting. “Can I have my glasses back?”

“Sorry they really tie the look together.” She returned Dawn's glasses.

“Rose, are you really okay with this?” Nick asked. “This is your night, after all. Do you really want to spend it with everyone else?” He didn’t have a problem with it, but he was shocked that she’d want that.

“It’s fine,” Rose grinned. She tilted her head to the side. “As fun as a night together with you would be, I think it would be more fun if we were all together! That’s why I invited everyone.”

“Well, if you’re okay with it,” Nick nodded. He was happy that they’d all get to hang out together as a group tonight, even if a few girls weren’t here yet. It made things seem less stressful, when everyone was together enjoying themselves.

“Besides,” Rose continued, “we can just have a fun date next week. After all, Dawn and I are like this now!” She intertwined her fingers. “No way she won’t pick me as her buddy for the next round too, right?”

Dawn pushed her glasses up her nose and pointedly glanced away from Rose with a guilty look on her face.

“Dawn!?”

“I think that’s sweet of you, wanting all of us to have fun together,” Mary said, smiling. “You said we were watching The Sound of Music, right? That’s my favorite movie.”

“I’m surprised you actually watch movies,” Rose teased. “Here I thought you didn’t absorb any media that wasn’t bound in leather.”

“Why am I not surprised that’s your favorite?” Dawn groused, rolling her eyes.

“I’m actually shocked myself,” Rose said, raising her eyebrow. “I never would have thought that Mary of all people would enjoy a film where a prospective nun violates her oath to God.”

“Maria never actually completed her vows,” Mary pointed out defiantly. “Instead, her love of Georg won over and she emblemized her faith by becoming a loving Christian wife.”

There were sparkles in Mary’s green eyes. She actually swooned.

Dakota smirked. “You know, the historical Maria von Trapp actually wanted to become a nun, not marry the captain, right?”

Mary turned pale. “Wh-What?”

“Oh yeah, she wrote about it in her memoirs. She cried before her wedding because she had no love for the captain, and desperately wanted to be a nun. She only went through with it because of her love for the children.”

Mary looked like someone had killed her favorite cat. “B-But… so it was all fake then?! But that was my favorite movie…”

“Dakota!” Nick chastised her.

“What? I’m just telling the truth,” Dakota shrugged. “I thought she liked that sort of thing.”

“Once again, the day is ruined by the film studies major,” Rose groaned, rubbing her temples. “Can we get on with this before anyone else’s favorite movie gets wrecked?”

“Let’s wait for everyone else to get here,” Nick suggested. He had no idea where the other girls were. As if on cue, Gina strolled into the suite.

“What’s up, party people?” She greeted everyone with a smile, holding up a bottle of rum. “You miss me?”

“Oh, just in time,” Nick said, going up to greet her. She passed him the bottle (it was already half-empty) and walked past him towards the dining room.

“I’m starving.” Gina rubbed her stomach. “When’s- yow!”

She flinched as a smacking sound echoed through the room. Everyone turned to see what just happened.

Gina’s lips curled up into a smile and she glanced back at Nick, who had a stunned reaction on his face. “Oh, so it’s that kind of party. Mama like.”

“H-Hey, I didn’t, um…” Nick’s face turned red. He had no idea what had come over him, slapping her ass like that. Half a dozen sets of eyes were boring a hole in him, and Mary’s judgmental stare hurt the most.

“Nah, just fooling,” Gina laughed a second later, punching him playfully in the arm. “I know, it’s because of my transformation.”

Nick groaned, slapping himself in the face. “Ugh, I totally forgot about that. That stupid transformation!”

“I actually like it,” Gina said, turning her back to him and wiggling her ass. The expanded cushion of punkmeat strained against her torn jeans, pushing them out so far they looked molded to her cheeks. “I’ve finally got some junk in the- *SMACK* …wheeew baby!”

Nick’s hand twitched. He’d done it again.

“S-Sorry,” he stammered, backing up.

Gina rolled her eyes. “Stop apologizing dude. If you’re gonna be like this, tomorrow won’t be as fun for either of us.” She shot him a seductive grin.

“Umm… uh…” Mary was all in a tizzy, not sure what to think about Gina’s overt sexuality. Before she could say anything though, someone else came up the elevator right behind her.

“Sorry I’m late guys!” Dani greeted everyone with a wave, sauntering into the room. When she reached Gina, she smacked the punk’s ass as well, out of courtesy.

“Dani, about time,” Dakota scowled. “We’re starving here.” She shot Holly a look. The short girl was hard at work in the kitchen, preparing food for her master and his guests.

“Almost done!” She cheerfully called back.

“Make lots,” Mimi bubbled. Her presence reminded Rose of something important.

“Where’s Carly?” She asked, glancing over Dani’s shoulder. But the entry hall was empty. “Is she coming up later?”

Dani’s face fell and she shook her head. “Sorry,” she apologized. “I told Carly about the movie night, but she said she couldn’t make it. Apparently she’s not feeling very well.”

Dawn frowned. “Should I take a look at her? If she’s sick, I might be able to help.”

“You’re a vet,” Gina piped up. “Carly may be a bit of a bitch but she’s still too human for your clientele.”

“Remind me again who saved your OD’ing ass?” Dawn scowled, glaring at her former roommate. Gina flipped her off in response.

“Doesn’t matter. Sylvia wouldn’t have let me die anyway.”

“Dinner’s ready!” Before things could escalate any further, Holly stepped out of the kitchen with a big smile on her face. She wore an apron that read “Cuck the Cook”.

The table was set as nicely as it had been the night before, with places for each of them. The food smelled delicious, and the group was drawn to the intoxicating aroma.

“Shit, now that’s what I’m talking about!” Gina said, licking her lips.

“It’s too bad Carly missed out on this,” Dani sighed.

“Speaking of, where’s Kim?” Nick asked, looking around for the schoolgirl. “I thought she said she’d be coming tonight?”

“She’s still working,” Mary informed him. “She’ll be on the clock for another half-hour or so.”

“No need to worry!” Holly chirped. “I’ll put her portion aside to reheat later!”

Nick glanced warily at Mimi. “Assuming there will be any left…”

“Shall we say grace?” Mary suggested once everyone had sat down to eat.

“Sure thing,” Dakota said, piercing a thick slice of chicken with her fork. “Grace.”

Without another word, she began to devour her food. Mary sighed in disappointment and dug in as well.

Dinner had just finished wrapping up when an exhausted Kim came trudging through the door.

“Hey guys…” She groaned, flopping down on the couch. “How are things?”

“Why do you look so worn out?” Mary asked. “What are they even doing to you at that job?”

“I have to rearrange the displays…” Kim grumbled. “That’s it. That’s all I do. ALL. DAY. Just rearrange the displays, over and over and over again. It’s like, what’s even the point?! Busywork. That’s what it is. Busywork, because of this stupid transformation.”

“Well, we have chocolate cake!” Holly said, trying to keep spirits up. “I made it myself! Would you like some?”

Kim glanced at the table and saw that everyone had almost finished up their meals. “No, it’s fine,” she said, shaking her head. “It won’t be the first time I’ve gone without eating after a hard day’s work. Let’s just get to the movies already.”

“No, it’s not fine,” Nick scowled, walking over to the couch. “Kim, you shouldn’t go without food just because you don’t want to inconvenience the rest of us. We’re happy to wait until you finish eating. Staying healthy is more important than being on time; we can afford to wait a little longer, right girls?” He turned back to the others for moral support.

“…We can?” Dakota asked, wiping her mouth with a napkin. Kim winced, hanging her head, and Nick shot his friend a dirty look.

“Uh, excuse me…” Dawn raised her hand, looking around the room. “Couldn’t she just… I don’t know… eat and watch movies with us? The dining room table is like only a few feet away from the couch.”

Everyone processed that for a few seconds.

“…Oh, yeah, that works,” Kim said, nodding. “I should have thought of that to begin with.”

She really was that tired.

“Great, we done here?” Dakota grumbled. “Let’s get to the movies already!”

“Excuse me,” Rose said, clearing her throat, “but did you forget whose night it is tonight? This is my movie party. I’m playing hostess.”

She sauntered over to Nick and looped her arm through his. “Although I suppose we’re both hosting, right sweetheart?” She teased, kissing him on the cheek.

“Remind me again what it was you said about not trying to be seductive?” Nick asked, raising his eyebrow. Rose stuck her tongue out in response.

“Yo, let’s do this then,” Dani said, clapping her hands together. “What are we watching?”

“Ah, before that, maybe we should do something about this couch,” Gina said, walking around the golden couch. “It’s not exactly fit to seat ten.”

“Oh, that’s okay!” Holly chirped. “I can see just fine from my cage, don’t worry.”

Everyone stared at her for a moment.

“…Well, I’m fine with the floor,” Gina shrugged, plopping her bubble butt down on the carpet. She winked at Nick. “If you step on me though, be careful… I might bite.”

Nick rolled his eyes.

“I want to sit next to Nick on the couch.” Dakota’s statement came out more like an order than a request.

“And as his actual partner for the evening, I will as well,” Rose purred. Both women led him to the couch, sitting on either side of him.

“I’ll take the couch too, then,” Dawn said, walking over. But she didn’t get there before Gina pulled her tail, sending a burst of pleasure through her body.

“Whoop, no pets on the furniture,” she teased.

“It’s okay, Dawn, you can sit in Nick’s lap like a good kitty.” Rose’s teasing was a little more targeted. She patted Nick’s trousers and smirked. Dawn rolled her eyes.

“Fine. I’ll take an armchair,” she grunted, dragging one of the golden chairs over to the TV and nestling down in it.

“I’ll join you all on the couch, then,” Dani said, squeezing in next to Rose. Her voluptuous figure filled up the space pretty well, leaving just a small gap left.

“Mary, you can sit here,” Dakota said, patting the empty cushion beside her. She offered the pigtailed redhead a toothy smile. “Don’t worry. I won’t bite.”

Mary shivered. But she did want to sit on the couch with Nick. If it meant being next to Dakota, well, she could handle that, right?

That just left Mimi. And it really came as no surprise where she chose to sit.

“Cuddles,” she demanded, plopping herself down in Nick’s lap. In spite of possessing Carly’s voluptuous figure, the slime girl was surprisingly light. Nick wrapped his arms around her waist to keep in her place, choosing to ignore the sticky feeling he felt on the front of his pants.

“So what are you guys watching, anyway?” Kim asked, digging into her reheated dinner. “I hope it doesn’t have subtitles, I won’t be able to read them from here.”

“Oh, god, please tell me it’s not in French!” Gina groaned. “Just shoot me now!”

Rose scowled. “Unfortunately, my recommendations in that regard were overruled,” she said, glaring at Dakota, who ignored her. Then her expression brightened. “First, we’re going to be watching an American classic: Pulp Fiction!”

“Seriously?” Nick perked up at the sound of that. “That’s one of my favorite movies!”

“I know,” Dakota grinned. “That’s why Rose and I agreed it was the best one to start out our little lesson for Mimi here with.”

She patted the slime girl on the head. Mimi looked at her curiously.

“Damn, for real? That’s awesome!” Dani cheered.

“I’ve heard good things about it,” Gina nodded. She wasn’t what one would call a movie buff, but everyone knew about Pulp Fiction.

“What’s it about?” Mary asked curiously. “I’ve never seen it before.”

Rose, Nick, Dakota, and Dani all shared a look.

“It’s, uh… it’s a movie,” Nick offered lamely, staring into Mary’s pure eyes. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

<“Alright, you can walk into a movie theatre in Amsterdam and buy a beer. And I don’t mean just like in no paper cup. I’m talking about a glass of beer. And in Paris, you can buy a glass of beer at McDonald’s. And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?”>

<“They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?”>

<“No, they got the metric system there, they wouldn’t know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.”>

<“Then what do they call it?”>

<“They call it a Royale with Cheese.”>

“Hey, is that true?” Dani asked, turning to Rose. “Do they really call it a Royale with Cheese in Paris?”

“Ah, forget that,” Gina scoffed, waving her hand dismissively. She glanced over her shoulder at them. “Is that shit about being able to buy beer at McDonald’s true? Because damn, the French must know how to party!”

Dani rolled her eyes. “Forget her. But seriously, is that the case? I’m curious.”

Rose smirked. “Come now ladies. Does this body look like it’s ever seen the inside of a McDonald’s before?” She ran her hand along her curves.

Kim scowled at Rose from the table as she finished up her food, and came to join the others on the couch. Mary scooted over to try and make room, but ended up getting a little squished between her and Dakota.

Still, it helped to take her mind off all the cursing. What sort of movie is this?!

<“No, no, no, man, I ain’t… You’re gonna have to give her the shot.”>

<“No, you’re gonna give her the shot.”>

<“I ain’t giving her the shot!”>

<“I ain’t giving her the shot!”>

<“I’ve never done this before!”>

<“I ain’t ever done this before either, alright?!”>

“Oh, come on!” Dawn groaned. “Why are they injecting her with adrenaline? Hey, morons! That’s not what you’re supposed to use! Get some naloxone!”

“Seeing you get so upset at the medical inaccuracies is enjoyable,” Rose tittered.

“I know how she feels,” Gina grumbled. “Come on. Overdosing because she snorted heroine? What kind of lightweight is that?” She crossed her arms and blew a lock of hair off her forehead.

Mary held her knees to her chest and shook.

“Holy fucking shit!” Gina cackled, taking a swig of rum. “They just blasted that guy in the dick!”

<“You hear me talking, hillbilly boy?! I ain’t through witchu by a damn sight, I’m gonna get medieval on yo’ ass!”>

“This scene always hurts to watch,” Nick said. His dick felt pain. His ass felt a ton of pain. Everything about this just hurt.

“Bruce Willis seriously chopped that dude up with a katana,” Kim winced.

<“Aw, man, I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked up, repugnant shit.”>

<“Jules, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits he’s wrong, he’s immediately forgiven for all wrong-doings? Have you ever heard that?”>

<“Get the fuck out my face with that shit! The motherfucker said that shit never had to pick up itty-bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass!”>

“Ugh, this is really gross…” Mary held her hand over her mouth, practically about to throw up.

“Yeah, I forgot about this part,” Nick winced.

“Oh come on, this is one of the best parts!” Dakota cackled. “I love this shit! Picking up Marvin’s brains outta the backseat of the car, Tarantino’s a genius!”

“I’ve had to clean out vomit from the backseat of a car, but never brains.” Even Gina looked like she was on her last legs.

<“There’s a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17.”>

<“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers and you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.”>

<“Now… I been sayin’ that shit for years and if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. You’d be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant, I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass, but I saw some shit this mornin’ made me think twice. See, now I’m thinking: maybe it means you’re the evil man and I’m the righteous man and Mr. 9 millimeter here, he’s the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you’re the righteous man and I’m the shepherd and it’s the world that’s evil and selfish. And I’d like that, but that shit ain’t the truth. The truth is, you’re the weak and I am the tyranny of evil men. But I’m tryin’, Ringo. I’m tryin’ real hard to be the shepherd.”>

<“…Go.”>

“There, you see, Mary?” Dakota said, turning to the trembling redhead as the credits played. “That was a great movie! And it even ended on a Bible quote!”

“That… that was HORRIBLE!” Mary wailed. “How could they use the Bible in such a foul way?! All those curses, and-and people said the N-word all the time! I can’t believe you guys liked that movie!”

“It was something else, alright,” Kim said, shaking her head. She didn’t love it, but she didn’t hate it either.

“So what do the rest of you think?” Dakota asked, rising from her seat and scouring the room. “Good movie? Not a good movie?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Keep in mind that my attitude will be determined by your response.”

“Well, I loved it,” Rose said. “A real move with villainous protagonists and ambiguous morality. Something like that makes you think, don’t you agree, Nick?”

“Uh, sure, I guess so,” Nick nodded. He relaxed a little when Mimi stopped squirming in his lap. “What about you, Mimi? Did you like it?”

“…Confusing,” Mimi admitted. “Who was the good guy?”

“Nobody was the good guy, that was the point,” Gina snorted.

“Eh, now that’s not really true,” Dakota said, shaking her head. “Butch was the protagonist, and while he might have a questionable moral character, he’s undoubtedly the good guy in this instance.”

“Wait, what?” Rose frowned. “Butch isn’t the protagonist. Vince is the protagonist. Most of the movie is about him.”

Dakota rolled her eyes. “Ugh, you’re one of those, huh?”

Rose scowled. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She demanded. “One of what?”

“One of the brainless people who go into watching Pulp Fiction thinking Vince is the protagonist. Don’t you have any knowledge of film analysis?”

“Oh, you want to talk film analysis?” Rose placed her hands on her hips and stood up, leering at Dakota. “Vince was in all three stories. He’s undoubtedly the protagonist! Otherwise, why would the director make sure he’s in that many scenes?”

“Yeah, but he died though,” Dawn pointed out. “Is he really the protagonist if you kill him off?”

“A protagonist can be killed off,” Dani argued. “**** Note killed off its protagonist.”

Dawn raised her eyebrow, her ears twitching on her head. “Sorry, I don’t speak weeb.”

“Hah! The fact you even know that’s an anime means you must be at least a little bit of a weeb!” Dani crowed. Dawn rolled her eyes.

“Ugh, you philistines just don’t understand!” Dakota grumbled, rubbing her forehead in frustration. “Why do you think the movie is shot out of order like that!? With a nonlinear narrative?”

Everyone stared blankly at her.

“…Because it’s cool?” Gina offered.

Dakota screamed in frustration.

“NO! It’s NOT because ‘it’s cool’! The purpose of presenting the narrative of Pulp Fiction in a nonlinear way is to reorganize the storyline so that the moral is concealed! The whole point of having three different narratives from the perspective of three different characters is to complicate the fidelity of the movie! To build discussion and encourage critical thinking.”

“Okay, I get that,” Rose said, backing off slightly. “But my point is that Vince is the protagonist because the majority of the movie gives him the focus. He was a significant player in Jules’ story, and of course, the POV character in his own. The movie was about his journey and inevitable ****. Butch is barely even in it!”

Dakota looked ready to strangle the blonde.

“Okay, think about it like this. Vince is the decoy protagonist. He’s a red herring. Yes, he’s prominent in the narrative, but that doesn’t make him the protagonist! Look, I get it, okay? Vince gets his night out on the town with Mia Wallace, he snarks with Jules while the two of them handle their hit, if you’re just looking at it on the surface level, then yeah, you could argue he’s the protagonist. But Pulp Fiction has far more artistry than that.”

“It’s a movie where a dude got blown away because he forgot his gun when he went to use the toilet,” Dani pointed out. “It’s not some heavy, deep thing. It’s just a funny action movie.”

“Hey, let’s not go that far,” Nick protested. He had to do something or Dakota was liable to blow a blood vessel.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Dakota said, taking a few deep breaths to calm down. “Let’s take a look at what actually happens in Pulp Fiction, alright? And I mean actually what happens. Not just the order it was shown in, but what happened and when.”

“This is making my brain hurt,” Gina whined.

Dakota turned to Dawn. “You. You’re smart. You should be able to arrange the timeline in chronological order, yeah?”

“I-I think so,” Dawn nodded. She tried to recall the plot of the movie. “Okay, so… first was that weird scene with the watch guy. Then John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson-”

“Vince and Jules,” Dakota corrected her.

“Whatever. Who cares? The next part of the movie is that they performed a hit for that one gangster, Marcellus Wallace, and all the shit that happened over the course of the day caused them to part ways. The next day Vince takes foot fetish girl to dinner she overdoses. Which, I say again, was an awful depiction of what to do when someone overdoses. Do not inject something directly into the heart, you’re just risking making a hole that will tear itself open from their heartbeat.”

Dakota sighed. “No one cares, Dawn. Enough commentary.”

“Fine. The next day, the bald guy, Butch, who was supposed to throw the fight for Marcellus Wallace doesn’t. So Vince goes to kill him, but gets killed in the john instead. Butch and Marcellus are then captured by hillbillies and, well…”

She looked sick. Nick felt sick himself. Nobody liked that scene.

“...Anyway, Butch saves Marcellus from the hillbillies and is allowed to leave town with his life. The end. Weird movie.”

“Great movie,” Rose corrected her.

“But you guys get my point, right?” Dakota pleaded. “When looking from an objective lens, in chronological order, the protagonist is clear!”

Everyone gave her vacant stares. It was like she was talking to a couch of Mimis.

“Butch!” She clarified. “Butch is the protagonist! He’s the only character in the whole movie who actually opposes the antagonist, Marcellus Wallace! Marcellus is the dominating **** that unites all three narratives together. Everybody but Butch yields to him, because the theme of Pulp Fiction is power taking the place of morality!”

She’s really going on about this, huh? Pulp Fiction was one of Nick’s favorite movies, but he’d never analyzed it to this extent. He glanced at Rose, who seemed to be eating this up with a spoon. Well, at least she’s enjoying herself, even if the rest of us are confused as hell.

“Marcellus Wallace is the manifestation of power in the film,” Dakota continued to explain. “Even when he’s not onscreen, his presence can be felt through the actions and motivations of the other characters. how the Vince, Butch, and Jules react to that power is the determinant of which of the three best fits the role of protagonist. So yes, Vince may display traits commonly associated with protagonists, but is the only character to remain firmly on the side of the antagonist, which results in his ****. Butch is the only character in the film to directly oppose Marcellus Wallace, upholding his own personal moral code rather than give into the power and influence that the gangster represents.”

She finished her impromptu thesis with a proud smile, placing her hands on her hips and holding her head up high.

Kim raised her hand. “Didn’t he kill a guy in the boxing ring and then brag about it?”

Dakota scowled. “…Well I never said he was a saint.”

“Can we watch The Sound of Music already?!” Mary wailed.