Xenophilia

Greetings prospective migrant!

We wholeheartedly welcome you to apply to immigrate to our wonderful country.

We understand that due to the change in trends and tightening of immigration standards in the west over the past handful of years, you might be **** to initiate an application for entry or take a risk on such a big move. Kindly put such concerns to rest. We are happy to announce that with the recent change of government, our nation has never been more open... eager even... to embrace immigrants of all colors and creed. It took some time, but we have finally realized the value and virtue of hard-working immigrants such as yourselves.

Rest assured, xenophobia is now a thing of the past, reduced to a shameful footnote in our country's sordid history, much like slavery, colonization, and whatnot. As a matter of fact, we as a nation have come to a consensus that we do love us some color and spice after all. Admittedly, people like yourselves provide immense value to our society as a whole.

Now, of course, there are some new rules. Should you decide to immigrate, we reserve the right to vet you and any dependents you would like to bring along with you. At the present time, we are giving priority to immigrants with multiple dependents. So if you have a big family and would like to provide a better quality of life for them in our country, this is your chance!

Oh, we are also giving priority to women. So the more women you have immigrating with you, the better the chances of your application being accepted. It's a western thing. We have feminism and whatnot.

We will require multiple photos of every dependent in the application. Especially the women... It's also a feminist thing. I dunno...

Rest assured, we will spare no effort to help you and your family assimilate into our society. It's our prerogative as your hosts to accommodate you...

To educate you...

And to help you navigate the inevitable culture shock...

So don't delay and come on over.

Bring your families, the bigger and the more females the better.

You'll not have to worry about employment. Demand for workers are especially high, particularly for jobs such as long haul truck drivers, offshore oil rig workers, international airplane crew, international cargo ship crew, heck even cruise ship workers. Basically any job that requires you to travel quite a bit, we have reserved a quota for immigrants. You'll be able to hit the ground running, so to speak.

If you are worried about your family, don't be. We have many outreach programs and community initiatives to keep them occupied while you work and pay your taxes. We'll teach them many new things, marinade them in local cultures, stuff them full of good, hard, insights about our people. We promise to keep them truly happy and content as only a well-fulfilled woman can be.

We absolutely value what you have to bring to the table. Our country desperately needs your talents, labor, and investments.

Our country is currently experiencing a shortage of male workers. Many of our nation's men have opted to stay on welfare and unemployment benefits. Thus you would be contributing greatly to the building and progress of our nation.

On a completely separate note, most of the unemployed men of our country spend their time volunteering as immigration ambassadors and cultural-enrichment representatives. Didn't I say xenophobia is a thing of the past? You'll see no better proof of that in all these men striving to accommodate you and your family's stay, even when they can hardly put food on their own table.

So you see, we've got ample hands to receive your families and an overwhelming desire, almost religious zeal even, to service their needs.

So no worries, and just focus on working and building your career in this country. Rest easy, and leave your families in our care.

Welcome to our country!