Fat-Eating Meta Booster 0.1

"Hey, I hope you don't mind, but someone told me that you were looking for a quick, reliable body-shaping ****."

"Huh? I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Oh, apologies! I'm Devin Deal. I'm with a research group downtown. Our product just reached the trail stage, so I'm looking for the right kind of candidates...you know, to get testimonials and all that."

"So what is it, exactly?"

The dark-haired man flashed a charming smile as he produced a pill bottle, apparently out of thin air.

"Glad you asked!" said Devin. "This is the Fat Eating Metabolism Booster! Best weight loss product ever! All natural and incredibly fast acting. You'll lose weight and inches in a matter of days! Plus it boosts your energy -- including the kind you need under the sheets!"

"Uh, okay. So what's the catch? There must be side effects."

"Actually, there are!" Devin smiled. "It also makes the hair on your head thicker and even grow faster, while it softens your skin. Not bad for a side effect, eh? Oh, full disclosure: some people -- and I'm not going to shame them -- have even discovered a little something extra downstairs! Of course, that's not necessarily something you care about, but you did ask."

"Well...okay, sure. I guess I could try it for a few days."

"Fantastic!" Devin's eye's flashed as he spoke. "I guarantee it will change your life!"