Casting Couch

Wally Burke was born on April Fools Day, 1975 in London. He was an only child growing up but had the normal run of friends and extended family that he got along with. He was a bit of a late bloomer with girls, puberty only really seemed to hit when he saw a picture of Elle McPherson when he was about 16.

After Elle he caught up rapidly. He used to run home from school everyday to try and catch the last half an hour of Baywatch. He dated a few girls when he went to college in London in 93. And he was engaged to a very nice girl when he finished college in 97. His fiancee called it off when she came across Wally's extensive collection of porn. That was before computers were as regularly used and Wally found it hard to explain the carefully boxed editions of most porn mags produced that he had in storage. The end of the 90s Wally spent moping (and masturbating) while applying for jobs.

He finally landed a position with the London Underground and he did quite well. Getting promoted twice by 2006. Wally dated a bit never really felt attracted to his coworkers. There was something about the ludicrous beauty of celebrities and porn stars that seemed to have imprinted on him during his teen years. More often then not Wally spent his evenings watching reruns of Baywatch or Eurotrash and cleaning up afterwards. He did finally move out of home in 2006 to an area of London called Ealing. It was a bit rougher than what he was used to but not having to hide his porn collection (digital by this stage) made the transition easier.

Wally wasn't the kind of guy who took chances or played the lotto. But he was the kind of slightly obsessive guy to check the lotto numbers on the ticket he found near the side of the road.

As it turned out it was a winning ticket. For the Euromillions jackpot. When he realised that he had won over 200 million pounds he thought about trying to find the real owner. For about two seconds.

Once he decided to keep it Wally knew that this windfall would finally allow him to live the life he had always wanted. In particular Wally thought that kind of money would be a good opportunity to test just how shallow the fairer sex were.

Wally made sure to claim the money without letting anyone know the amount he had won. He let his friends and family think he had won just under a million pounds. Enough to get a nice enough place in London city center (a small pad near Bloomsbury), enough to get pay off his outstanding debts (and his parents mortgage, they had sided with his ex-fiancee on the porn collection thing but no reason to hold grudges) and get everyone a few drinks. And enough to take a career break from checking passenger statistics for London Transport and tell people he was going on a round the world tour.

Wally made sure his money was invested safely and sat back and started thinking about how he was going to live his life. 2008 seemed like a year full of possibilities...