A Source of Power

Life's been kind of rough lately. When you were 15, your dad passed away. He was your rock, he supported you in everything, even when you mentioned you wanted to go out a create something, he told you that he knew you were made for something special! Never mind that you never knew what that something was or how it was gonna get made. Now, you're 24 and you still haven't figured that out.

Losing your dad, should have brought you and your mother closer, but instead it seemed to create an even bigger gap between you. Your dad was the creative one, your mother the practical one. Without your dad's supportive words, your mother understood you even less. These days you only call her when you need something. She seems contend with this too, as she put all her focus into her work. That was how she dealt with the grief. And its done her a lot of good. She's made partner and works almost 80 hours every week. Sometimes you worry you might lose her early too. But this kind of thought only makes you very angry, so you try not to think about it too much.

The last kindness you showed your mother was to get a job in a warehouse. Its only so you can pay rent, you live with a roommate, Steve, and so you can focus on your creative dream in your spare time, but honestly, you mostly got it to get your mother off your back, so she shouldn't have to worry about you too much.

Deep inside, you really hated this job! Slaving away to a shitty pay. It really ins't worth it. And you're afraid you might get an early back injury from lifting all those heavy crates.

Every day you told yourself: today's gonna be the day you're gonna change everything! When you come from work, you're gonna create something amazing! Is it a book? Maybe a manuscript? Maybe even something else? You aren't really sure. But you know it will happen!

Then you come home, and you're just too tired.

Today is another one of these days.

You get up, turn off your alarm, dry the sleep from your eyes. Go to mirror. Your long white hair is a mess as always. People always comment on this. Asking why you dyed it. But this is your natural color. You were born with white hair. Which is strange, none of your parents have white hair. Your dad was dark blonde, and your mother was dark brown. The doctors said it might be a pigments mistake, but you rather like it. It why you keep it long. That and you are lazy and poor, so getting it cut every now and again is not something you can really afford.

Despite your lean features, you are currently single. Not that you haven't been in relationships before, but you are still rather inexperienced. People can be a bit intimidating. Especially strangers. And most of the people you met nowadays are all in relationships already. So here you are, single, living with a roommate, and working a job you hate, while it tires you out for what you really want to do, even though you have no idea what that something really is.

What a great existence!

Now, what are you gonna wear today?