Your P's and Q's

This chapter originally written by BiBiComte, minor edits by Samus1001

A lot of things work. A lot of things don't.

Sex with your super hung cousin: that 'W'orked. Capital 'w'. Capital sex.

"Capital penis." Click. Click. Clickity-click click. "Mm-mm-m..!" The creak of the seat, the chirp of a meandering bird; all of these coalesced into the morning backdrop of the Anders' daughter's bedroom, said occupant currently absent, the girly accessorized space instead inhabited by a girl, another one, twisting her wheeled chair side to side as her mouse-clutching hand moved the auxiliary device gingerly across a pad.

As another series of mouse clicks took to air space, the violent rattle of wood against her phone's aluminum case drew her eye. She removed an earbud from her ear, a pop song faintly emanating out of it as it draped across her neck and she took the call.

"EMILY, YOU'RE TRENDING!"

"I know." And now she was deaf.

To the left, went her chair.

"Girl... the rest of us are all here at Vanessa's house. We're soo proud of you!"

Laughing, she brushed hair out of her eye. "Thanks, Gwen." Creak, went the old chair. "Honestly, wouldn't have been able to do it without some help..."

An outburst of giggles and laughs adorned the background. "Yeah, we could tell..! Who the heck was that? Your cousin?"

"You bet," an air of pride filled Emily as she failed to miss the subtle awe hinted through her friend. She should've known already, anyway. Not because they ever talked about Caleb before (for some reason, Emily had never even really thought much of Caleb before all of this -- in her eyes, he was just a messy, loud, at least not creepy boy who liked doing stupid pranks on April Fool's with his friends for a good few years; that was probably before she realized how equipped he was to stretch out chicks like her, so), but because they specifically went over the familial dynamic in the video.

"Mm, well... he's a star now. Did you plan the whole thing to go side by side?"

Emily tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"You know, posting your video on the same day as those crazy theater dicking vids he was in! Man, who would've thunk that your family was going to get the internet so fired up and all, like, in one night? You guys are cray-cray.."

Theater dickings?

What was she talking about?

A meaty laugh erupted from Caleb's mother. "Caleb, stop that, would you--" Oh her dork of a son had been whacking the tip of his big ole dick against her nose for almost a half-minute now. A glimmer roamed his eyes as he repositioned the waggling wiener and jammed it up a nostril, ensuring that his thick, wide shaft was smushed flat against her lips as he rubbed it all over her squishy face, painting pre-cum and some of their own natural oral lubrication across the bridge of her nose, cheek -- hell, some even got on her eyelashes. This, obviously, had only one natural conclusion: her and Hazel crumbling in a laughing fit.

"Caleb! You're making Mom look right at home in an amateur porn vid!" Even after an elongated 'stooop', his tight bodied sister couldn't contain her nefarious giggles.

"You never cease to make us laugh, champ."

"Thanks Dad." The boy simply grinned as he ate it all up. He looked down. Then, without warning, he violently whipped his dick to the other side.

SLAP!

All eyes in the room zeroed in on Hazel rubbing her nose gently under two cupping hands for a few seconds before she darted one eye, her other closed shut, in Caleb's direction.

Then out whirred a soft, almost tame, nasal exhalation. "....ow."

Caleb's grin grew wider.

A week ago, she threw the car keys behind the TV set just to spite him. Funny how tables can just turn overnight.

Which called, of course, for another dick slap. Gentler, and on the side of her face this time.

Beats broken cartilage.

"Oh honey," their mom laughed between breaths. Her movements caused her breasts to squish against Caleb's leg as she wheezed, "He--he got you good!"

Now it was Caleb's turn to howl.

Hazel spoke from behind her hands, her voice a nasal twang. "Your face is still a mess, you know. You should get a tissue or something...."

"I don't know. Does our very own Stretcher of Women want me to? It was his mess, after all." An impish smile tugged at her lips. Wow, who woulda thought mother was this kinky? Actually, on second thought, she was never this kinky -- the watch had to be responsible for smoothing over any contingencies regarding Caleb's perverse acts by reconciling it with everyone around him, no matter their own proclivities. It was natural, then, for someone so acclimated to him to be their playful self; only, this time, the subject matter was dick.

Caleb's dick, that was.

"I think Hazel should clean it up," Caleb barely paused before adding his genius idea to the fold, "with her face. She is your daughter, after all, Mom."

"Hmm, you might be right, sweetie." Mother dearest smiled, her hand returning to slowly pumping Caleb's shaft, wrapped tightly around his serpentine organ like only a loving matron could.

Hazel's eyes widened, turning to Caleb as if to see if he was serious. "ARE YOU--is this--I mean--" When Caleb's gleam refused to subside, she cleared her throat and withdrew her hands from her face, raising her chin. "Fiiine. But only just this once, and only because it's you, Caleb! Jeez." Then, leaning over Caleb's legs, pleasantly brushing her breasts against them as she did, she brought her face over to their mother's and smushed her cheek against the older woman's. Like a sponge, she began rubbing them together, up and down and all around, collecting all the pre-cum and diluted oral spittle Caleb's penis had relegated onto Mrs. Anders earlier. Caleb took in the sight with a chest-deep laugh as their father heavily stroked on his own junior with **** gusto.

"Guys, guys!" Suddenly, down the stairwell bounded his always gorgeous cousin, as if to join the fray. Caleb openly ogled Emily's breasts as they pulled against her knit, half-sleeved top enticingly. He noted how just days ago she would probably be singing a much different tune were she to catch him in the act. "Hey, Caleb!" she greeted happily, then, for the first time, took in the situation. "Wow, you guys are getting busy. Why didn't you tell me you were going to do a three way **** blowjob with Caleb, Hazel, you jerk!" Under her breath, she added, "Would've been the ultimate back to back YouTube play."

"Hey Em," Caleb greeted back, ignoring her observation as he stroked the crook of his sister's lower back, teasing the ridge bridging her tight, smooth skin to the swelling flesh of her spanking clean buttocks. Hazel, concurrently, was rolling her eyes at her cousin's pointed words, opting to say nothing.

Just as well, as, brightening at Caleb's returning hello, Emily decided to shelf that subject for the interim. "Caaaalleb. Do you know what my girl-friends were telling me just now?" Emily strode over, stopping in front of Mr. Anders as the latter gave a wild slap, which impacted loudly against her firm, clothed bottom, only to subsequently begin squishing and feeling his niece's flesh with reckless abandon. Clearly, he was feeling a little randy, jerkin' it and all.

"What was that, honey?" humored Caleb's mom, as her husband finished up spanking their niece's stinging, warm ass.

Emily grinned, adjusting a wedgie with surprising elegance, moving out of her uncle's way. "They told me that they caught a video -- multiple videos -- of a certain stretcher of ours dicking it up with a whole theater of women; just last night!" Emily laughed, coming up to slap Caleb in the arm. "I can't believe you! After ramming your horse penis up me, your sister, and Aunt June, that wasn't enough for you for one day? Everybody knows that when girls go to the movies they're also gonna be hoping for a, you know." She let out a stolid whistle as she put a finger through a finger-made hole.

Caleb shrugged, tugging at her pants to pull the side of it down over her left ass cheek as he pinched at it with the length of his two fingers to his heart's content. "Nope. As nice as your tight pussies were, that still wasn't enough to stop the Cal-train."

"Cal-train," his dad snorted. "I like it!"

"Well, yeah," Caleb let go of his cousin's soft ass flesh, returning the waist of her trousers back to its appropriate place. "It's normal for the act of being fucked by me to also be known as 'riding the train' or 'riding the Cal-train'." The teenager **** himself not to snicker. Nevertheless, he thought the notion of hearing people saying they wanted a train ride as turning into a definitive innuendo was amusing.

"Jeez, who would've thought I had such a perverted cousin." Emily rolled her eyes, stopping. "Wait, so you guys already knew!?"

Hazel finally finished smothering her face against her mom's, having actually done a competent job at cleaning their mother up sufficiently. That was Hazel Anders for you. "Em, it was a trender for a good chunk of the night! You couldn't miss it."

"Sorry hun, you were a bit late to the party." Mom's breasts looked so irresistible squashed against Caleb's legs like that. In some ways, the boy was just glad that he was now allowed to have his fill of sights and sounds. For so long, he had to keep all his crude glances and thoughts under wraps. Finally -- finally -- he could fantasize about his friends and family in plain, unfiltered sight.

And they didn't care.

Returning to the main course, Hazel resumed smooching Caleb's dick, kissing up its length before sticking out a tongue and circling it over his penis-head. This seemed to remind their mom that her hand was still wrapped around it and she sped up her strokes, leaning her face down to tend to it with her mouth next to her daughter.

"Huh." With a plop, Emily landed in the couch seat next to the currently pants-less Caleb, only curtly acknowledging the fact that he was being serviced by his two immediate female relatives with a stray glance. "Well," she carried on with a shrug, pulling out her phone, "in that case, onto the next thing I almost forgot about." Tapping on her screen, she began doing her hair last-minute, then went down to the carpet, facing the phone's camera in her direction. "I need a quick selfie with your penis." She swiveled her head up to look at Caleb. "Can I?"

Caleb's member was practically as hard as a metal rod as his sister and mother took care of him below, his cousin's face looked at him inquisitively, and the overall air of the room seemed inclined to imply that the world was in the palm of his hands. "All yours, Em. Maybe you want me to give you a cumshot, too?"

Laughter. "Caleb! Seriously? You already have Aunt June and Hazel. I gotta get some other stuff done. Besides, I also need to get ready for my parents to pick me up."

Caleb popped a brow. Right, this was her last day with them. She was just laying over, after all, since her parents had both been tasked to a business meeting out in the city, and the Anders' place, being nearby, typically welcomed Emily with open arms. It's been a thing for about two years, now.

"Oh. Almost forgot about that," Caleb's dad murmured. "I'll... help you get your things ready." He reluctantly looked down at his still masturbating hand, only for his eyes to lock with the prodding glare of his oral-conducting wife's.

Go.

But--

Now, Harold.

But honey--

No buts. Or do you want one of us to stop what we're doing to do it?

Wincing, Caleb's dad pulled his pants over his still throbbing penal piece, then stood to his feet, taking his phone with him as he mentally noted to get those contagiously charming pics of Caleb's dick printed out and framed as soon as possible. It was only normal for June to want to have Caleb's cock proudly displayed in their household for all to see after being rammed up the pussy by his stretcher. P's and Q's, as his own mother would prattle. P's and Qs.

"Say, cheeese!" Emily, meanwhile, held up a peace sign, one tongue out, as a small flash overtook the couch.