You got Anne pregnant. Are you up for Ulva Lupino's pre-nup?

"Well done, Joe," Anne says at your door. "Mission of mercy accomplished, three twats gloriously filled and satisfied. See you at work next week. Oh? And try not to let anyone kick you in the chest, eh? If she left a bruise like that, she could have killed you."

"Oh," you say.

"I am a self-defence instructor, Joe. I know how you got that bruise."

"Thanks for not telling Ulva."

"Ha! I don't put blood in the water in front of sharks. She would have leaned on your bruise with both hands to watch the pain in your face and help her get her jollies while she was grinding on you."

"Good night, Anne." You take a breath. "See you next week, Ms. Campion."

"Next week."

She lets herself out and closes the door.

It takes a few weeks before you hear about one of the unintended effects of your mercy fuck party.

Anne Campion is pregnant.

"I have an idea," she says. "Wait until you hear from me."

She's gone for a week.

Roll +COOL(0) to GET OUT OF TROUBLE: 8. On a 7-9, you get out of trouble, but it will cost you.

Then you get a call. Not from Anne, but from Ulva Lupino, the woman who looks like a ten million dollar lawsuit in a tailored designer outfit and bold red and black make-up. Anne's divorce lawyer. Second in line for your mercy fuck party, who had joked about fucking Anne's soon-to-be ex-husband just to get a little more satisfaction out of the victory she expected in court.

Anne's husband had settled.

You show up in your job interview clothes, khaki slacks, a button-down shirt, and a summer-weight jacket. Ulva Lupino calls you into her office, points out the chair in front of her desk, and lays out her proposal. Anne's proposal, but clearly Ms. Lupino had put it into shape.

Anne was proposing to buy you like a stallion, more or less. You're not sure how you feel about the proposal. Flattered? You would have been happy to be her part-time side piece, her pool boy. But not just her baby daddy but her husband?

Maybe Mrs. Peel from The Avengers would have demanded what she's asking you for.

"A pre-nup?" you say.

Ulva Lupino has her severe lawyer face on. "A proposal of marriage, Joe. And a pre-nuptial agreement."

"Ms. Campion wants to...?" Your dick twitches inside your good khaki slacks. Fortunately you don't think Ms. Lupino has X-ray vision, since her desk is in the way between her eyes and your trouser fly. "She wants to marry me?"

"Marriage with a pre-nup, Joe. Or a paternity suit. Let's make this simple. Ms. Campion has had a substantial settlement from her unfaithful husband. The pre-nuptial agreement says a few things. It says that her house, her savings to date, and her divorce settlement are all hers for good. It says you go on the male birth control implant for a year, so there are no slip-ups. And you'll need to leave your lifeguard job. It's an ethical violation for Anne to be your supervisor if you're her husband. I can recommend a number of good lawyers if you would like to review this contract. I advise it, in fact."

"Let me take a look and see if there's anything that jumps right out."

You skim through the pre-nuptial agreement. There's a section labeled MAINTENANCE where Anne offers to give you spending money that more than replaces your part-time lifeguard pay. And you'd be moving into her house. SHARED RESIDENCE says that, so you'd be ahead by rent. And CAR says you'd be driving Anne's old Mini while she gets something more sporty.

You blink at the section titled MARRIED NAME. "I'd be taking her name?"

"Mr. Campion, if you like," Ulva Lupino says. "Joe Campion, eh? I like that name." She grins. Like a wolf? Like a shark? "It makes it clear that you're joining her household."

You wonder if that part was Counselor Lupino's own personal touch.

"Yes, I think I will have the agreement looked at," you say.

You sit in your beat-up old car and text the phone number you have labeled SWIM JOB BOSS, a few entries down from POOL JOB and POOL JOB BOSS.

I THINK I'M GOING TO SAY YES. I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOUR LAWYER THAT TO HER FACE.

TAKE YOUR TIME, JUST DON'T DILLY DALLY, JOE. AND NOT A WORD AT WORK.

NO MA'AM.

AH HA HA. TAKE CARE. LET ME KNOW. BUT I WANT YOU AT THE LAMAZE CLASSES ANYWAY. OR NOT LAMAZE, WHATEVER THEY CALL IT NOW.

YES MA'AM.

DON'T LET WHATSHERNAME KICK YOU AGAIN EITHER.

NO MA'AM, STRICTLY POOL CLEANING WITH MS YOSHIDA.

Anne Campion probably has as fierce a kick as Karen Yoshida. Especially with the evidence of those busted-up cargo pallets. You wonder if Anne likes it up the ass like Karen does. Time enough to find out, whenever. Especially if you tell her yes. Ass is cool, but it's not like you're hung up on getting up a gal's butt. You're fucking huge, so you can't be expecting it.

HAHA DAMN I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO QUIT SMOKING AGAIN SO SOON. BUT WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO? NEXT WEEK JOE.

Breathing techniques. Apparently Lamaze was kind of a misogynist, kinda judgy about the moms, so they didn't use his name anymore.

The Legal Aid lawyer gives you a forty-five minute appointment to go through Ulva Lupino's pre-nup. "All right," Ms. Sandoval says. "Ha ha, this clause is unenforceable." She draws a red pen through it and adds a legal code number. "And she calls herself a divorce lawyer?" A little later, going through the assets. "Do you have any substantial assets now? A house, a car, an investment account, a trust fund?"

No.

You laugh at her question. "If I did, would she be asking for a pre-nup?"

"Her lawyer would be asking," Ms. Sandoval tells you. "After all, it would be a point of pride for Ms. Lupino that her client wouldn't lose her settlement to another feckless male." She frowns. "I don't think the male birth control thing would stand up, either. But Ms. Campion might just say she wouldn't marry you."

"It's, well, I mean, I looked it up. It's not super effective, but it's not a big problem for side effects, so whatever. It won't give me a limp dick. I bet Ms. Lupino put that in. Symbolic emasculation."

You both laugh at that.

Ms. Sandoval goes through her list of critiques point by point.

"Oh, and how sure are you that you're the father of Ms. Campion's child?"

"The timing is right for when we had sex."

"It might be worth a test. Especially with this pre-nup in play. I would advise it."

"Thanks, Ms. Sandoval."

"Well, I must say you've been my most interesting case today," she says.

"Thank you. I feel a lot better, just getting that run-down, and your pointers."

"Good luck, Mr. Kelly," she says.

You shake hands with Ms. Sandoval.

"Maybe it's going to be Mr. Campion." You laugh. "Should be good for my credit rating."

You have Hard +2 (with Fucking Huge), Hot +2 (with Charming), Cool 0, Control -1.

You have 5 XP and may spend them on a new Character Move from Create a Character.

Do you have an answer for Anne's proposal?

Or do you want to spend 5 XP and pick up a Character Move?

Or do you want to make a move on someone, Anne included? Say who you're after and where you're going and roll +COOL(0).