Yes, but not without complaining

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Town Whore Emilia & Rich Girl Gina – Do we have to battle together?

• Mankey – Fairly Weak, Healthy
• Fearow – Fairly Strong, Healthy

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VS

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Mr. and Mrs. Pennysworth – You do, and you’d best not hold back. Your futures depend on this battle.

• Haunter – Fairly Strong, Healthy
• Raticate (Alolan) – Capable, Healthy

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Mr. Pennysworth throws a pokeball from his pocket without stopping his hips. His pokemon, a Haunter, enters the battlefield ready to fight.

With significant effort, Mrs. Pennysworth pushes herself up off the desk with one hand long enough to retrieve a pokeball from between her boobs and throw it. She falls back to the desk immediately afterwards. Her pokemon, a Raticate, enters the room. But something’s weird about it.

“What have you done to your Raticate!?” you exclaim. “Did you paint it black to match your dress!? You can’t do that! It’s pokemon cruelty!”

“It’s AlOOOOlan!” the wife objects.

“Still, that’s no excuse! You can’t mistreat your pokemon just because it’s from another region!” you lecture.

“Hey Emilia, do you still have that monkey?” Gina asks, cutting off your moral soapboxing.

“Mankey? Yeah of course,” you answer.

“Send it out. Trust me on this one.”

You’re a little bit skeptical, considering she’s the rudest, meanest person you know. But she’s on your team, and doesn’t have anything to gain by misleading you. At least not in this battle…

You send out your Mankey at the same time that Gina picks her Fearow. Your pokemon are barely on the battlefield when the Pennysworths launch their attack.

“Haunter, use Shadow Punch on the Mankey!”

“Oh no! Mankey, dodge!” you order.

Mankey cartwheels out of the way, narrowly dodging Haunter as it whiffs past. However, this leaves your Mankey off-balance and **** to a second attack.

“Raticate, Hyyyyper Fang on Mankey~!”

The engorged Raticate leaps at Mankey, intent on landing a devastating attack.

“Fearow, Whirlwind!”

Raticate is caught in a wind tunnel and blown back, its attack completely neutralized. Guess Gina saved you or something… Grumble grumble… In the process, though, Fearow was distracted enough to get hit by Haunter’s Lick.

“Tch… Fearow, rout Haunter away from the ground! Emilia, you have type advantage on Raticate so just throw attacks at it.”

Fearow flies at Haunter several times with attempted attacks, but each time, Haunter phases through it and appears elsewhere. But, as Gina hoped, it keeps moving further away from the ground each time, effectively pairing your Mankey against Raticate.

Sure, you have type advantage. And sure, you’ll win by just throwing attacks at it. But Gina told you to do it, so that’s not what you’re going to do. At least, not yet.

“O~hohoho!” you call out. “How unfortunate that your Normal-type Raticate must face my Mankey! Clearly I have the advantage. You might as well just forfeit now and save yourself the embarrassment!” The words slide from your mouth as if well-rehearsed. It’s almost like you’ve been practicing this act at night, when everyone else is asleep.

“It’s not Normal-type! Raticate use-Sca-ry-Face!”

Meanwhile, Gina’s fight with Haunter isn’t going very well. All of her Fearow’s attacks fail to connect, either because he reappears elsewhere before the attack lands, or because Fearow goes straight through him, failing to connect. Gina manages to limit Haunter’s chances to counterattack, but only by babbling orders nonstop to make Fearow bail out of failed attacks and reposition last minute. You doubt she can keep that up forever. Hell, you couldn’t even do that in the first place. The gap in your skill is obvious and enormous.

“O~~~hohoho! Having your rat make hideous faces won’t change a thing!” you announce. Your mockery must fail to register in the manager’s brain as it rattles around in her skull, courtesy of her husband’s dick. She just keeps moaning and ordering her pokemon to use Scary Face as your throw more “ohohos” at her. You enjoyed outclassing the classy lady, but at this point, the only thing classy about her is the dress. Time to finish this.

“USE KARATE CHOP YOU MANGY MONKEY!”

Mankey moves at a sluggish pace, pushing itself forward but only going a fraction of the distance you’d expect. By the time it’s in attack range of Raticate, its attack has been telegraphed to space and back, allowing the enemy to easily dodge.

“Raticate, *Cruuuunch!*” It lands easily, and the opposing pokemon falls back before you can counterattack.

The dynamics of Gina’s battle have changed significantly. Instead of attacking, Gina is on the defensive. Aside from ordering Fearow to use Leer a few times, she’s only reacting when Haunter attacks. Is she stalling or something?

“Damnit Emilia, what are you doing? Take out that rat already!” Gina scolds.

“I-I’m trying!”

“Just hit it and it will go down! It’s not that h- Fucking hell. Your monkey’s moving like a snail. Listen.” Gina steps over to you and whispers in your ear. “You ran your mouth into this mess, now run your mouth out of it.”

In Gina’s absence, Fearow took a solid hit. It’s not looking great, but it’s still flying. More importantly, it’s time for the actress to hit the stage.

“O~~hoho! Is that really all you’ve got? My Mankey barely even felt that attack! Look, he’s even laughing at you! AREN’T YOU MANKEY!?”

Your Mankey drops to the floor and starts rolling in laughter. For the first time, Mrs. Pennysworth turns her head to look at you. And she looks livid.

“An ugly, worthless rat pokemon for an ugly, worthless woman. And matching black coats as well! How fitting. Not even your strongest attack could even put a dent in my Mankey.” If her bloodshot eyes are any indication, your plan is working.

“H-Honey, you’re getting a little too tight, if you ask me…” her husband mumbles.

“RATICATE, USE DOUBLE EDGE!” she screeches. Bingo.

Her Raticate dashes in, potbelly first, aiming to sidetackle your Mankey and then land on top of it. Gina’s smart, she said this would happen. But because it’s running bellyfirst instead of headfirst, that means…

“MANKEY, LOW KICK THAT FAT RAT!”

Mankey’s kick lands squarely in Raticate’s big gut, causing such an impact that its feet leave the ground. For a second, Raticate is suspended in midair. Its momentum reverses, and it ends up landing backwards on the ground. It barely manages to get up and scramble away from Mankey.

“Baby, that WHORE is bullying me and Raticate! Help!”

Whore!? THE WOMAN GETTING RAILED ON A DESK IN FRONT OF CUSTOMERS JUST CALLED YOU A WHORE!?

Mr. Pennysworth directs his Haunter to go after your Mankey, which turns out to be a costly mistake, as suggested by Gina’s smug “hmph.”

“Fearow, use Pursuit!”

Fearow brings its wings in, and takes off after Haunter. It catches up immediately, striking through the Ghost-type and leaving it to fall to the ground, defeated in a single blow.

“Why did that hit when all your other attacks missed?” you ask.

“Because it was mean. Ghosts are weak against mean things,” she answers flatly. “Fearow, use Aerial Ace on Raticate!”

The injured Raticate is quickly mopped up as Gina’s Fearow KO’s both your opponents. Yup, Gina got them both.

…Show off.

Most of the anger from Mrs. Pennysworth now belongs to her husband, who wraps up their “personal business” rather roughly. When all is said and done, the female manager is sleeping off her defeat while Mr. Pennysworth handles negotiations.