Widows and Cats hunt Bishops and Aunts

Written in collaboration with Cross C

It was November 2023, and Kate Bishop was feeling a little trapped.

Certainly a strange feeling to have when you’re standing on a rooftop, overlooking a bitter New York city. The wind on her back, the unending noise of the residents, and the purest sky blue above her… so why feel trapped? Well, that was because of her mother.

“Neither of us were Snapped! Why is she worrying so much?” Kate sighed. Drawing her arrow back and firing another into the target on the end of the roof. “Oh Kate! Stay off the streets! They’re full of ‘new homeless’! Oh Kate! I read up about this horrible ‘Snap Disease’ and the nice man on the podcast said to drink toilet cleanser! Oh Kate, whatever you do, don’t go out unless you’re escorted by someone, please!” Her voice droned on in a mocking tone while mockingly jabbering her hand like a puppet, “Gawd! I know that it was scary when Thanos came back, but the Avengers always win in the end! Right?”

The pigeon she was chatting to just nodded. Mostly to pick up the bird seed that Kate had dropped on the floor for it, but still, she appreciated the acknowledgement.

“Thank you!” She nodded, walking back over to the target to take the arrow out of the bullseye. “You know, I don’t know if I said this yet, but they only won cause Hawkeye was there. Check all the Avengers wins and every single one of them had him present. New York, Sokovia, that weird airport thing… but as soon as they forget to invite him, POOF! Half the universe gone.”

Her friend just tilted its head.

“Oops, sorry, is that a touchy subject? Did you or someone you know get Snapped?” After accidentally pointing her arrow at the bird, it flew away. Leaving Kate to sigh long and hard into the bitter Autumn wind. “Man, I need more friends bad.”

After firing her arrow once more into the target, Kate decided she’d had enough fresh air and started to head back down stairs. Her apartment, located above the lovely ‘Herman’s Hearty Slice’, was thankfully far enough away from her worrisome mother that she didn’t have to visit the Bishop residence too often while attending her final semester of college.

All schools were cancelled until the new year anyway, as with all the returning students to the land of the living, a LOT of paperwork and organising had to be sorted out.

Which meant Kate had time to organise herself, get her life in order, maybe even tidy up the mess she’d made of the inherited apartment..

Was she doing that?

No.

Kate Bishop just wanted to go out on the streets and help people. Crime had taken a massive upswing since Thanos. Riots were becoming a weekly routine, and so many people needed saving that Kate had started ‘accidentally’ stopping immediate felons to her area while ‘happening’ to wander the streets of Manhattan. If things were back to normal she’d worry about being called the ‘Girl Hawkeye Vigilante’ by the news or something, but luckily they had far bigger fish to fry. Try focusing on one tiny girl with a bow and arrow when there was now two presidents of Finland.

Though that wasn’t a today issue. Nights were for vigilante justice, days were for Great British Bakeoff marathons and ignoring homework.

She threw her bow on the counter and grabbed a yoghurt pot from the fridge. Stretching herself from the minimal training exercise and putting a little extra honey in as a rewar-

Step.

“Mm?” Kate blinked with a spoon in her mouth, looking up to the dark corner of the large apartment in confusion. “Mmom?”

No answer.

Slowly, Kate reached for her bow.

“Don’t do that.” A voice from the darkness said, followed by a single ‘click’ that made Kate flinch.

The student instantly raised her hands, “H-hey! Easy! I don’t want any trouble!” She squeaked, still unable to see who or what said that. “D-did you want money?”

“No, I just wanted to see what you’d do.”

Out from the shadows stood a woman that Kate had seen many times before on the news. Red headed, curvaceous, and wearing skin tight black leather. Only two people fit that description, but since Bloodrayne was fictional it could only be “BLACK WIDOW?!”

“Hello, Kate Bishop.” The super spy smiled, stepping further out of the shadows and towards the kitchen counter to the incredibly flustered girl.

“Ohmigod! This is amazing! The news said you were dead! Is this a spy thing? Though, I guess, if you were dead you wouldn’t be here. Why are you here? Are you about to recruit me?! Am I about to become an Avenger?!”

Natasha raised her hands and mimed a ‘calm down’ motion before letting Kate breathe in and out. To which Kate followed before smiling and gave a thumbs up.

“Good. Remember to breathe.” Nat smirked back, to which Kate gave another awkward and quick thumbs up to. “Now tell me, who knows you’re here?”

It felt a little tense, but Kate felt immediate trust and faith in the super hero. “Um, my mom? Mr. Herman downstairs as well… but they’re not going to check in on me or anything soon! I can, like, go on a mission if you need someone!”

The really busty (shockingly so) woman slowly nodded, looking Kate up and down with a certain level of intrigue, which only made Kate more excited. “...and Clint? What do you think of him?”

“C-Clint? As in… Clint Barton? Hawkeye? THE Hawkeye? He’s amazing! A great shot and a true hero for always fighting on with and against those more powerful than him! He’s my idol!”

“Clearly you’ve never met him.” Nat smirked, stepping closer to Kate once more, “In fact, in general you’re younger, less experienced. You seem a little more like a lost and happy puppy than the fierce girl I knew. Perhaps it comes with the territory of a calmer world with less apocalyptic scenarios every week. But even with all of that, you are unmistakably Kate Bishop. Even in this universe.”

“...I’m sorry?”

Then an electric dart shot into the girl’s neck and the world went dark.

Mark and Claire returned to their apartment with their heads held high, and a couple boxes of pizzas in their stomachs. America had flown up to the apartment before them after making Mark use her chest as a plate to eat the last couple slices from, and not wanting to stain her top had flown topless from the pizza place bathroom her and Mark had fucked in.

“Ahh~! Another hero in the bag~!” Mark exclaimed to the lobby after a grand entrance of kicking the door open. The lobby of people clapped happily in unison, with soft congratulations to him for another Mark accomplishment. “Thank you, thank you. He’s currently trailing behind to fill up his staff, but soon you will all gaze upon the Phoenix King’s new bodyguard, Luke Cage!”

“Amazing work, sir!” A converted businessman who was acting as the doorman now clapped, “Is it true he’s bullet proof?”

The question gave Mark pause, as he knew his universe’s Luke was but this one? “...I forgot to check! But whatever, I’m sure we can test it out at some point. Anything happen while I was out?”

“Just that Ms. Felicia Hardy requests your attendance on the rooftop of this address.” The secretary man handed over a piece of paper. “She says she has a lead she wants your opinion of, then to ‘feed her cream’ afterwards.”

A mild annoyed grunt escaped Mark’s lips, “Man, I was just out!”

“The duty of a cat owner calls,” Claire smirked, though her eyes looked up at him with reverence and a little lust after having her ass fondled all the way there, “I can walk with you for a bit if you’d like? Sorry for this, but I should really go do some more shifts at the hospital now. I’d hate for this whole operation to fall apart because someone came looking for me.”

Mark nodded and the two began heading outside again, “Fair, let’s get you back in your secret identity. Then you can come back and be MY night nurse, eh?”

The last thing that could be heard from the lobby goers was Claire’s distressed groan, “Oh god, Felicia told you about the awful halloween costume she found in my closet…”

Meanwhile, America had just opened up the window to the nurse’s apartment and was stripping herself down for a quick shower. Humming a tune that stopped abruptly when she saw a stranger lying on the couch.

It was a woman, body fairly toned if a little small, face straight down wearing only tight lacy violet lingerie and a single red bow that tied her hands behind her back tightly. The only other thing near her was a single card that said ‘from Natasha’ in nice handwriting on the table, “Hm? A nice little present for my Mark?” America’s lecherous smirk spread across her face, reaching over to take a look at the woman’s face out of pure curiosity.

And then she saw her face.

“...eh? Wait a minute!”

Rage began to spread across America’s brow, a deep down intense anger from a life far behind her now. Even seeing a fake version of Kate, tied up and **** in such a way, almost felt like a kick in the head from reality. Her head spun around as she heard someone enter. The very redhead that had signed her work so neatly.

“You!” growled America, flying over to Natasha instantly and grabbing her collar in anger, “Puta! You hurt my Kate Bishop?!”

The surprised Natasha shook her head in fear, “N-no, just captured her! I know you were friends with Kathryn back on our version of Earth!”

“...we’re not from the same Earth, Markandan.” America spat, still angry but seemingly calming enough to drop the widow back to the ground, “So you captured her for Mark?”

“Not for Mark, for you.” said Natasha, rubbing her neck a little from the ****. “As I said, I know you two were friends.”

The unbreakable latina still seemed angry, though she couldn’t tell you why. “Let me guess, you captured her for House Romanoff. Just to get under my skin.” A finger jabbed into Natasha’s chest accusatory and sent her stepping back. “I’m on to you, Puta. Trying to get in as Mark’s number one while I’m away, is that it?”

“It really isn’t. Please, listen to-”

“I’m onto you, Puta! You super spies are all the worst. Lying, deceiving, doing whatever you need to… to… uh, what are you doing?”

Ms Chavez slowed down her angry ranting when Natasha’s head hit the floor. Such a deep prostrating bow for someone usually so proud, the ex-lesbian was a little taken aback.

“I… I can’t do it again… please…”

Tears were hitting the floor, it was rather weirding America out. Crocodile tears were one thing, but there was no Mark to impress here, just a broken little girl weeping on the floor. “Uh, do what again?”

“Be hated.” Nat admitted without raising her head or stopping the water works. As a spy she could speak usual and ignore the pain, but her emotions were so clearly forcing the tears out from beneath the veneer of calm. “I spent so many years being despised by the whole of Markanda. Can you imagine how it feels to be hated by the whole country you lived in? Ridiculed. Left behind. Spat on in secret. Even when the Avengers were captured, people were taught to hate me. I was the one who tried to kill the King, so everyone needed to know I was not to be trusted or liked in any way.”

“...I guess that does sound pretty rough…”

Nat nodded, finally raising her head but not her eyes from the floor, “It was the strangest experience of my life, to feel that lonely among so many who wanted the same thing as me. The hate, the loathing… and now, I can feel that same energy radiating from you every time I’m doing my best for Mark.”

“...” A slightly awkward America shifted in place, “...yeah? Mark is special. You already had your own one and left him.”

Raising her tearful eyes, the two finally looked into each other’s hearts, “And I thank your Mark for taking me in, but I just… I don’t want to be hated anymore.” She said calmly through the tears, in a way that actually did play with America’s heartstrings a bit. Nat could only gesture to the sleeping girl over on the couch, “I knocked Kate Bishop out and brought her here as a gift. She hasn’t been changed, she isn’t hurt, and she’s ripe to be added to the House of Chavez. Kate Bishop is my peace offering to you.”

’It’s a hell of an peace offering…’ America thought to herself, 'I really hope Mark helps her realise she’s bisexual in this universe…’

“I only want what is best for Mark, and I think you want the same. Please…” She trailed off, wetness dropping onto her ample chest, looking down to the floor and lowering her head once more… before America’s hand on her shoulder stopped her.

“Alright! Geez, who knew you could be so pathetic!” America laughed, though Nat’s pleading gaze made her sigh, “I guess… until you give me a reason to not trust you, I’ll stop being so rude. If you wanna be friends then I can accept your offer.” She looked over at the **** Kate and licked her lips a little, “Besides, I am the one leaving to explore for Mark’s multiversal babes. Even with Luke as a bodyguard, I think you taking charge in my absence is good for both of us.”

“Thank you.” Natasha smiled, taking an impromptu hug from the other woman and squeezing back affectionately. “I won’t let anything happen to him.”

Stroking the redhead’s hair, the strong woman just smiled, “I know, I know… man, what would you have done if I didn’t accept Kate Bishop as an apology?”

From out of nowhere, Nat whipped out something long and pink from behind her back, “I bought the biggest white-man strap-on online, while also brushing up on my cunnilingus techniques with Felicia.”

“...well now I don’t want to accept it.”

“So, that’s where Spider-Man lives?”

It was night by the time Cat and Cat Owner met up at the Cat’s request. Mark and Felicia were scoping out a fairly tame apartment building, standing on a dark rooftop just across the street from the location. It didn’t look any different than any other building in Queens, but they knew it held a hero that could at some point create a large problem for them. As Nat put it, he was often underestimated and then found some way to save the day despite the odds. Snuffing the spider sooner seemed sound logic.

Currently, like the super villain he was, Mark was stroking his cat and planning the hero’s downfall as she purred at his touch, “That’s right. A younger version than the one I’m used to, but Peter lives here with his aunt.”

“We have his picture, yeah?” Mark asked, looking at the dossier Widow had made for them. A photo of a regular looking eighteen year old stared back at him, a fair bit younger than the cuckold Parker of Markanda. “Why don’t I just go over there and touch him when he’s leaving the building?”

“Spider-Sense. Peter has a built in danger warning, he’ll see you coming a mile away. More than likely he already senses us over here and it’s making him confused.” As if on cue, a window opened across the way and someone looked in their direction. It was too dark a night to see the pair in dark clothing, but Mark noted the severe danger this would face.

He scratched his chin, “Okay… what the fuck do we do then?”

“Luckily for you, my studly owner, I have just the idea to take down my old flame.” Her hand reached over Mark’s to turn to the next page of the dossier. On that page was another Parker, but this one was far more MILFY than the Peter page.

“Yo? She’s hot. That Spider-Mom?”

“Spider-Aunt. But Peter’s actual parents died so he treats her like a mom.” Felicia explained. "Pretty funny though, where we come from she's like an eighty-year old grandma. The multiverse is weird."

His finger traced her picture, imagining those wise eyes looking up at him from his crotch, “And any Spider-Uncles in the picture?”

Felicia couldn’t help but giggle, taking Mark's hardness and dropping to her knees while he stroked his cat's hair, “Sorry. It’s funny if you know. It’s just those two in there, and I think she’s going to be key in distracting our little puberty ridden spider as long as possible…”