When in Doubt, Talk it Out

John slowly cracked his eyes open, expecting to find himself transported to a god’s realm to have a discussion on how bad at runic magic he was, or something similar. After all, every other time he nearly died, he had gotten something like that, so why mess with an ongoing trend? And yet, as his eyes opened, he saw the rocks of the cave he was just in, now covered in a golden light.

No, that wasn’t right. The rocks weren’t covered in light. He was just pressed up against the light.

‘Oh right. Barrier of Faith. Moira must have saved our asses,’ John thought to himself as he slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position. Sure enough, standing right beside John was Moira with her hands raised to the sky and a sphere of light surrounding the two of them.

“Welcome back,” Moira sighed, a small smile hiding the strain visible on the rest of her body. “I was honestly expecting you to do one of those little “godly vision trips” you told me about.”

“Yeah, I guess none of the boys and girls upstairs wanted to chat this time around.” John took a slow look around them, noting the metric tons of rock that seemed to be pushed back by the glowing light. “Holy shit. I really brought the tunnel down.”

“Yeah, about that. Good idea to kill the rats with but-“ Moira gave out a slight grunt as some shifting occurred above them, the light growing a bit dimmer for a moment before its strength was reinvigorated. “But honestly, I wish we could have had a few more moments to run away.”

“I don’t think you could have dropped the barrier before then,” John replied. “It was taking a lot out of you just holding it. I thought trying to run and hold up the barrier would have been too much.”

“Oh, most definitely,” Moira said with a small sad smile. “I’ve learned this spell from a few of the more defensive knights in our Order, but I am still getting used to it. Honestly, the only reason I managed to hold it up for so long is because of the grace of The Lady and my status as Warden.”

“I take it being the Warden gives you… I dunno. Extra magic power or something? A +6 to your spellcasting modifier?”

Moira chuckled softly at that remark. “No… well, kinda? I don’t think I can dilute the power of the Golden Rose down to just some arbitrary stats or something, but it does at least give me more mana to draw from, helps me control my mana flow, and does give me access to some spells cast by the forebears of the Blessing. Granted, those spells are hard to access and I’ve only manage to do so once, but-“

She was cut off from her story suddenly, the light of the shield flickering like a dying bulb in a deadbeat gas station. John could see sweat beading on her forehead, and quickly he leapt to his feet and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Moira! Moira, what’s going on?! Are you okay?”

“Just… just running low on mana. Draining… draining myself a lot here.”

“Shit… You gotta lower that barrier and regain your mana then.”

“If I drop it, we get crushed!” Moira said, though as she spoke, the light continued to flicker, threatening to go out at any moment.

John looked up at the rocks around them, and noted a few of them were more wedged against one another than resting on the light. Maybe… the rest of them were too?

“Moira… can you shrink the bubble? Just a little bit?”

“I… Yeah. That might let me spend less mana, but not much.”

“Do it. I need to see something.”

“Is it a solution to us not getting crushed?”

“Maybe. Just shrink the barrier.”

Moira nodded, let out a small breath, and after a moment or two, the golden light began to close around them, the sphere growing ever smaller with each passing moment. At first it was large enough to maybe fit Talia, Naoto, and Mavis all in the barrier as well, even if it would be a bit cramped. However, as Moira shrank it, it became barely big enough for three people, or a bit cuddly for the two of them.

But more importantly, John watched the rocks around them carefully as the light shrank. As it became smaller and smaller, leaving the touch of the boulders around them, said rocks shifted a bit and fell inwards towards them. But just as they were about to touch the light of the barrier… they stopped.

“Called it,” John remarked with a smirk. “You can drop the barrier now.”

“But the…” Moira looked up and noticed that her barrier wasn’t holding anything up. The rocks were just… stuck. Stuck perfectly in place. Her eyes went wide, but then quickly closed as she sighed in relief and dropped her hands. Instantly the light dissipated, and yet not a single rock moved from its place.

They were safe. For now.

Moira collapsed to her knees, taking in deep shuddering breaths. “By the Lady… I don’t think I’ve held that spell for that long before. Nor cast it right after casting such a large version.”

John returned to sitting next to her, giving her a small back rub as he talked, “I didn’t think it would take it out of you that much.”

Moira gave a shallow nod. “It takes a lot of mental and physical energy for me to cast magic. I don’t generally do spells like that. I’m more used to… like… self-enchantments or light healing.”

“But the Blessing lets you do other magic?”

Moira nods. “One of the former bearers used defensive magic. So I can kinda use it too.”

“You were mentioning that before you almost collapsed,” John remarked. “Wanna explain it more to me?”

Moira nodded, leaning back against John’s arm a bit. “Well… I think it’s because of my predecessors. It could also be that the Blessing and the Lady’s grace let me do other kinds of magic.” She gave a small shrug while she thought about it. “I mean, I have to be a leader, so it’s probably best that I know how to use all the other forms of magic. Or maybe it’s just so that the Warden can be anyone in terms of magic style. I dunno.”

“Seems complicated,” John added. “I take it there wasn’t anyone to teach you all this?”

She shook her head, and gave a bit of a sad sigh. “Normally, the former bearer of the Blessing is to instruct her child. But my mom died before I started any form of training, and dad was busy using the Blessing to hunt down the mages while he could. He didn’t have a lot of time for me.”

John nodded, still rubbing her back, although he noticed that she had started to press a bit more against him. “Do you get to decide who becomes the next Warden or-“

“No. It’s hereditary,” Moira said, slowly moving her head to look John in the face a bit more. “The Warden is the Bearer of the Golden Rose, which is the Blessing given to us by the Lady herself.”

“Gaia, you mean?” John asked.

Moira gave him a bit of a stink eye. “No, I mean the Lady. I don’t refer to my patron goddess in such a casual manner. You might want to defer a bit of respect to her as well.”

John held his hands up, a bit of a smirk on his face as he did so. “Hey, I ain’t dissing her or anything. I just know her by Gaia.”

“Well, I refer to her as the Lady,” Moira noted before continuing. “So what my father told me is that when I eventually have sex with someone, that said sex will be sure to result in a pregnancy. That child will always be a daughter, and said daughter will be the next bearer of the Golden Rose. I don’t know what kind of fighter or mage the daughter will be, but she will get the Blessing nonetheless.”

“Wait, you can’t have sex until you are ready to have a kid?” John queried.

Moira shook her head. “Nope. Hence why I get to wear a magic chastity belt. So I don’t go around being tempted to indulge in the carnal thoughts of man.”

“… You could have just said, “So I don’t get to have sex,” you know. Carnal thoughts of man is a bit overkill.”

“Tell that to my dad,” Moira almost spat out. “The chastity belt was his idea. Sure, it’s magic so I don’t ever have to take it off, and I get to remove it during specified bathing times, but…”

“God, that sounds like hell.”

“You aren’t wrong.” Moira laughed a bit, and John noticed how her laugh reminded him of songbirds. Specifically, the ones that would perch on the trees in the prison yard. Apparently said birds were descended from birds that got trapped in the barrier when it was first formed, so in a way, the birds were just as much prisoners as the inmates.

Yeah. Her laugh really did sound like a prison songbird.

John figured it would be a good time to change the subject. “So you’ve been Warden since birth?” John asked.

“Sort of? I mean I was destined to BECOME the Warden when I turned 14. Normally, what is supposed to happen is that my dad keeps the Blessing and uses it until I turn 14, then on the day before my birthday, there's a big ceremony with it ending right as the power shifts.” Moira gave a small sigh, clasping her hands together. “My mom would have been around to train and protect me while dad used the Blessing to protect humanity, but since mom was dead, I had to learn most everything on my own.”

“Oh. I… uh… I didn’t…”

“It’s okay. Honestly, the worst part about my mom dying is that I… don’t feel worse about it.” Moira shrugged, kicking a small pebble by her foot. “I mean… I didn’t know her at all. Sure, she was my mom and I know she made my dad really happy but… all I know about her is the stories that people tell me.”

“You never had a chance to connect with her,” John pondered. “You never lost a mom, just the idea of a mom.”

“Yeah. Honestly, the worst thing about all of this is… I am never able to step out of her shadow.” Moira crossed her arms, her expression turning sour. “All I hear is how amazing she was and all the things she managed to accomplish. Her pushing back of the technophiles, the demon invasion she helped to fend off, the fights she had when the skaven were attempting to invade, the independence she was able to negotiate for the American Abyss… Meanwhile I can barely hold up a basic barrier spell to protect us.”

“Hey, just because you aren’t as strong as your mom yet doesn’t mean your own accomplishments should be forgotten. You helped to bring down The Scarlet Hand after all.”

“Yeah, and that’s ALL I’ve been able to do!” Moira yelled out. “This was the first time that my father has let me go on a mission that actually had some real weight to it! And look what happened! We had to rely on a random dead guy who hates me to save us from the rats the first time around, and the second time I couldn’t keep us safe while you killed them off. Now this cave is gonna be our Lady-forsaken tomb and I can’t do anything about it!”

A pregnant silence rested between the two of them for a few moments, Moira huffing in frustration while John just sat there looking at her. Her face was flush, almost as red as her hair, and sweat still dripped from her brow onto her ornate gold and silver armor. Her eyes, brilliant blue orbs of the deepest sea, were shimmering with tears that she refused to let drop. Her hands were trembling as were her legs, and she looked ready to drop at any moment.

John slowly got to his feet, walked to be in front of Moira, and placed his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him with the expression of a sad defeated puppy, the expression of a woman looking for answers and finding none. John took in a deep breath, exhaled, and began to speak.

“Moira.” Another deep breath. “I am not going to try and lie to you just to make you feel better. No, you’re not your mother. But maybe that is for the best.” John looked to her armor, the glistening sign of the Rose gleaming back at him. “Your mother did many great things. I don’t know much about them, but I have no doubt that she was a great person. But she also didn’t face the hardships that you did. Did she lose her own mother when she was two?”

Moira shook her head no.

“I thought so. Did she have to deal with a grieving father who was on a hunt for a man who killed his wife?”

Again, she shook her head.

“Did she have to deal with a new branch of magic being reawakened? Did she have to ally herself with outsiders because no other options were available? Did she have to have the future of the Order placed upon her when she was a child?”

Small pinpricks of tears started to form at Moira’s eyes as John continued to speak. “Moira, you have done amazing things. You managed to take down the head of a criminal guild and **** him into hiding. You managed to find a way to return to Alfheim, a land your people have been barred from for years. You managed to keep me and the people I love safe. Hell, you managed to fight the corrupt system and get me out of prison! You saved me, Moira. Not just here with your barrier spell, but from the hell of prison.”

“But I put you in ther-“

“Moira, things between us started poorly and you were just trying to do what was right.” John reached up, wiping a few tears from her cheeks. “And that I think is what is best about you. You are doing what you think is right, even if your Order doesn’t think it is.”

“That just makes me even worse as a Warden,” Moira choked out. “I… What if I mess everything up? I want to do the right thing but what if I-“

“If doing the right thing makes you a bad Warden, then maybe the standards need to change,” John said. “Moira… you’re doing the right thing. In my eyes, that makes you the best Warden that the Order has ever seen.”

Moira stood there for a moment, the words sinking in before she leapt towards John, her arms wrapping around him as she softly sobbed into his shoulder. John grunted a bit from the pain of her plate armor slamming against him, but after a moment to let his body adjust, he simply returned the hug, rubbing the top of her head softly while murmuring that it would all be okay.

“A shame the same can’t be said about you, son.”

John pretended like he couldn’t hear the whispers of his own insecurities needling their way in.

“She at least has a chance to be good. She has goodness and wholesomeness in her blood. But you, son? You’re just like me.”