Weeks go by

The next few weeks settle into a routine.

A couple afternoons a week, I head to the tutoring center and meet with Lauren.

And it works.

Slowly but surely, my grade starts climbing. The assignments make more sense, my test scores improve, and eventually I stop checking the online gradebook every night expecting to see another disaster.

By the middle of the semester, I’ve pulled the class up to a solid passing grade.

It’s a huge relief.

But somewhere along the way, the tutoring sessions become about more than just the class.

I start getting to know Lauren.

At first, our conversations are almost entirely about school. Then they gradually become more personal.

I learn that she’s a senior too. She’s taking a heavy course load and is already thinking about what she’s going to do after graduation. She tells me about her friends, the clubs she’s involved in, and some of the ridiculous professors she’s had over the years.

She learns about me too.

She knows I’m a senior, that I’m living with three roommates, and that I’m in a long-distance relationship with Sarah.

Sometimes we spend the first ten minutes talking before either of us even opens a notebook.

Lauren is easy to talk to.

She’s funny without trying too hard, confident without being arrogant, and somehow manages to make a tutoring session feel less like studying.

And I still find her incredibly attractive.

That hasn’t gone away.

If anything, it’s gotten harder to ignore now that I actually know her.

But I’ve never crossed a line.

Neither has she.

At least, not one I can point to.

Every once in a while, she’ll smile at me a certain way or make some little joke that leaves me wondering if there’s something underneath it.

Then she’ll go right back to explaining whatever problem we’re working on, and I’ll tell myself I’m reading too much into it.

I keep reminding myself why I’m there.

To pass the class.

To graduate.

To keep my relationship with Sarah intact.

For now, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

Still, as the weeks pass, Lauren has become a bigger part of my routine than I ever expected.

And I find myself looking forward to those afternoons more and more.