Week 1 Fan Mail: Aífe

Aífe started with the present from the person she actually knew—a letter and a large box from Shar.

Dear Lady Aife, it was an honor to host your season, however briefly. I do hope that you enjoyed my game, though perhaps you would have rather been a more active participant. I have gifted you a board game copy of my improved Clue, which I promise will not suck you in this time, and a copy of another game I ran for my own girls, Cumopoly. I do hope you will share a game with your harem and think of me. Congratulations on finding your true self and a harem I hope you can love and will love you back. Trouble makers and all. Be not too hard on those you do not yet know well, they need points too. Your hesitation is understandable, but please do be more proactive for their sake. You may also consider talking with Cecilia about doing what the two of you can to force her transformation to give you everything at once instead of drawing things out. Once it's done, you can do what you must to redress the balance. Money taken can be given back, and the store has plenty of items to restore her breasts, or even enhance them. I have given each girl a copy of their outfit for the game, I do hope you consider that a gift for yourself as well, Shar.

“I guess that’s about what I’d expect from you.” Aífe sighed with a half smile. “Just like the other day, all of the others get something fancy while I just get a board game.” She shrugged. “At least next time I might actually get to play, though that’s probably not happening anytime soon.” She shook her head to clear away some of the negativity. “That’s enough sarcasm—thank you for the gift, Shar. Also, I’m probably gonna have to say ‘no’ to your suggestion regarding Cecilia. That seems like a good way to end up an actual murder victim, as opposed to what happened in your game of Clue.” She was about to move on when she noticed another envelope in the same bundle.

Greetings, Lady Aife. My Name is Laura Black, and on behalf of the Master Support Association, I would like to extend an invitation to you to become a member. My host informs me that your season is a very light one, and that is a very good thing. However, as your season has just finished its first week, I thought you might appreciate being able to reach out to others in a similar situation for advice, or just to commiserate over harem woes. I myself have several harem members who can be more than a handful at times. If you do wish to accept my invitation, your host can arrange correspondence between myself or any member of the MSA you wish. I implore you to do so as there are not very many female masters, leaving me surrounded by men at the meet-ups. Also, congratulations on the harem. I do hope finding yourself with one is not a burden, you're kind of stuck with them. Best wishes, Laura Black (Haunted Castle)

“Thanks, Laura.” Aífe scratched her head as she reread certain parts. “But is there really a need for a support group for masters? That kinda seems backward to me, but maybe I’ve just had it easy. If there are meetings times that don’t conflict, then I’ll at least try out a meeting or two.” She tucked it away with the mail from Shar before moving onto the next piece of mail—a solitary letter, this time.

Dear Aife,
It appears I finally have an opportunity to write you back. Lucian muttered something about production obligations and your first challenge coming up. Mine was...really intense, I hope that yours is less so. From what I’ve gathered, you got a good group of women with you, you're very lucky. I hope that your good luck continues and that love and happiness is the only thing you need to worry about coming for you.
If you have my luck, I’m very sorry and wish you the strength to overcome any obstacles in your way.
Sincerely,
Caleb Ward

“Oh… hey, Caleb.” Aífe tried to sound chipper, but she had to admit that her opinion of him soured just a little bit when she watched the opening ceremony to the season he was on. She hoped that he’d since put on a better showing. “Hope you’ve… had a bit better luck managing things on your side after the opening ceremony. That’s all I’ve gotten to watch so far, and it seems like you’re probably in over your head way more than I’ve ever been on my side of things. Thank you for the well wishes.” She moved on to a piece of mail that included something soft and squishy.

Lady Aife,
I hope this letter finds you well.
Congratulations are in order. You seem to have adapted well to both your transformation and the Hotel situation. Your companions are generally helping you along. Even your more troublesome companions are not that bad. I am sure that you can tame your horny gremlin and grumpy redhead soon enough.
Some advice, as per fan-mail tradition, should you wish to hear from me. One, you have been given a supreme responsibility by being placed in the Mistress seat. Their souls are bound to you. You need to keep them sane and whole. I say this while feeling that you are doing a reasonable job at the task, but it still needs to be said.
Second, be prepared. The game ramps up every week. Stakes are raised. Transformations get wilder. Twists are added to the plot. Your game so far has been several parts lackadaisical, one part dating show, one part lesbian panic. Those easy days may soon be over. Challenges are often where the heel-turns come too. Help your companions; they will need it.
Third, reach out when you need help. There are many Masters and Mistresses. We even have a support group. We’ll do what we can. Might just be a kind word. Might be more, if necessary.
My first little present is a tradition at this point: a two-tailed fox plushy. It has a Calm Emotions enchantment on it; give it a squeeze and it takes the edge off of harsh emotions. It will help with your panic attacks, should you have it on hand. Eliminations are horrible, even when earned.
The second is embarrassing, but has a funny story behind it. My most troublesome companion at this point is a literal dragon that got a transformation to make her more human. She tried to bribe me early on with statues of my favorite contestants from other seasons at the time. The Harem Hotel retail store has insane return policies, so I try to pass on the statues back to the Master/Mistress when I can. The last one I sent, to your so-called sister season’s counterpart, was stolen by his Host as part of a 15 million dollar (or so) mail fraud incident. Hopefully, Sera doesn’t steal yours. One giant mint-in-box limited edition ahegao statute of Mallory North. Think 6 foot tall pornographic Funko Pop.
Finally, a fun little bit of jewelry. Every girl needs some conversation pieces. I hope you enjoy this one.
Regards,
Tyalangan, 48th Queen of the Copse-Wood Throne
Ruler of Nimlith Grove
Masters Support Group – Member Emeritus
P.S., Any chance I can take a look at that Girls Don’t Do That transformation? Way back when I watched your early episodes on a game date night (timey wimey nonsense; our seasons started about at the same time, yet my set’s timesteam was much faster than yours), my companion had a theory about it and, if she was right, I’d like to try it.

Inspecting the ring, she found a tag attached to it that identified it as a ring of telekinesis. It had a weight limit and couldn't target anything being worn or held, but still a useful trinket.

“…” Aífe stared blankly at the letter for a moment before turning to Sera. “I’m assuming you know about this?”

“Of course, my dear.” Sera looked up from her own mail. “Is there a problem?”

“Not really? I guess I’m just wondering how much like a Funko Pop they’re talking about.”

“In terms of actual design, they’re nothing alike.” Sera assured her. “I believe they were simply referencing it in terms of it being a collectible figure. This statue is true to Miss Mallory’s real-life proportions and is made of stone, rather than vinyl. I wanted to leave it up to you as to where it might be kept. Would you like for me to have it delivered to your suite?”

“Definitely not.” Aífe grimaced. Talk about tacky home décor. “Is there maybe somewhere that people aren’t likely to see it unintentionally?” She felt awkward keeping such a thing, but also didn’t want to risk upsetting the sender. After all, if this was what they send to people they’re trying to be friendly with, what would they send to someone who angered them? At least the other two gifts were a lot better. “Thanks, uh… Your Highness? I’m sure I’ll get some good use out of your gifts, and I’ll try to keep the advice you gave me in mind.” She quickly opened the next piece of mail, hoping its contents were less… unique.

Dear Aífe,
This is my first real chance to reach out to someone in a similar position to me, and I just want to say that I hope my first week goes even close to as well as yours has. My harem (that feels weird to write) seem like they’re going to be a challenge to keep on top of. There’s at least two of them who don’t want anything to do with me, plus an ex-girlfriend, an old friend who transitioned, not to mention my wife...
But enough about me. How are you coping, under the surface? What have you found hardest, and any advice for a newby on how to deal with it?
Yours sincerely,
Matt Hawkins (Master of Harem Hotel: Storytelling Edition)
P.S. My Host said I could send a gift, so please make good use of the dragon’s tooth pendant. Her magic seems to work on symbolism, and apparently as a dragon I’m at least partly about protecting things I love, so hopefully it will help you protect someone you care about when they need it most.

The pendant had a tag identifying it as the following:

[Dragon’s Tooth Pendant
A large, pointed tooth on a thin gold chain. May it protect your harem like a dragon protects its hoard. Its magic can be used once to veto a transformation on someone the wearer cares about.]

“Holy shit.” Aífe reread the ring’s description, her eyes widening. “Thanks, Matt. This is like seriously strong. I hope I won’t have to use it anytime soon, but better safe than sorry. As for your questions… I guess things are fine? The hardest part is definitely just keeping up with so much going on, and advice? Hmm… I can’t speak to some of your other relationships, but as for your friend—find out what makes them feel more like their chosen gender and explore that with them. I’ll give Cecilia a lot of credit on this one. The stuff she planned for our date together was pretty perfect, even if there were some rocky moments.”

Aífe reached for the next envelope, finding… an invitation to join the Super Smash Bros roster? Upon further inspection, it was from Sally. Given what Aífe knew about her, the appearance now made a lot more sense. She opened it, and was blasted in the face by a burst of confetti.

Dear Aife,
Congratulations on getting a body to much better suit yourself! As someone who has changed their body many times in life I understand how great it is to love what you see in the mirror. And as icing on the cake you got a darn sexy look to boot. I hope you've come to appreciate what a great thing that has happened to you getting to be a mistress on Harem Hotel with such an excellent host. Not all mistresses are so lucky as you in the host they get. As a long time fan of the show and a host myself I would know. Why if you had gotten Sera's predecessor...actually probably shouldn't talk about that without Sera's permission. You've had quite the active and fun first round though. Do be ready for the first challenge though. Even on nicer seasons they can bring out the nastier side of some contestants and it's the master's job to be ready to comfort those who need it afterwards. I'll be sending an after challenge feast to help with that. Continue having a great time on the greatest non-anime show in the multiverse
A fan,
Sally
P.S. After you've gotten all the improvement you can absorbing Cecilia's bust do try to find a way to restore her lost glory. A woman's breasts are their best feature after all
P.P.S. You have great taste. While all Megaman is great Megaman, Battle Network is the best of the bunch

“Predecessor?” Aífe glanced at Sera, whose face darkened.

“I assure you, Lady Aífe, you wouldn’t want to talk about her.” There was a smile on Sera’s face, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Generally speaking, the less said about Scarlett, the better.”

“O...kay…” Aífe really didn’t like the shift in atmosphere when this Scarlett person was brought up, so she swiftly moved on. “Thanks, Sally. I’m definitely happy about the new body. And you’re right—Battle Network is the shit. I’m a Falzar girlie, in particular.” She opened another piece of mail, this one containing… a log?

Aífe, you are one of the few masters who seems to be aware of an important truth so soon soulmates are bullshit, no one person can be completed perfectly by a single other person it is important to have relationships outside of your most heart-filling one. And seeing you ensure that your harem has other connections to fall back upon has earned my praise.
So here is a small gift an eternal pink wood log, using it as fuel for a cooking fire is know to add an erotic flavour, which may or may not act like a minor aphrodisiac to those who eat it. A good post meal fuck is such a good bonding experience. Also be sure to secure yourself a good dedicated cook for the harem.
PS. Sera I know you read these please do not tell Aífe or Ember that I soaked the log in oils that will act as a strong aphrodisiac for the best cook once Ember burns if for the first time.
-- Assistant-Producer Jewel

“Sera, I think you forgot to erase something.” Aífe stared dubiously at the log and letter. “Also, what does ‘erotic flavor’ even mean? Does it make things taste like pussy, or something?”

“Ah, this one.” Sera stifled a chuckle as she grabbed the hunk of wood from its packaging. “I mostly just wanted to see your reaction. This sort of thing actually requires Ember’s approval.” She turned to the cook, who had apparently come in to read her own mail. “If you would?” Ember took the pink log from Sera… and swiftly lobbed it into the air before rapidly and violently twisting her body, smashing it into splinters with her tail.

“The first rule of my kitchen—” Ember glared down at the destroyed piece of wood, wearing the same blank expression she always wore, “is ‘Never serve a steak well-done.’ The second, however, is ‘Never use an ingredient or tool I did not procure myself.’ My flames are the only source of heat allowed in my kitchen. And if a recipe requires wood to be burned, I go out to the woods and I chop down a tree.”

Aífe had never seen Ember be so intense. A part of her had to admit it was pretty hot. Shaking those distracting thoughts out of her head, she hoped that no one else was trying to send her gifts laced with aphrodisiac.

Dear Aífe,
Okay, so this is a weird letter for me to write, and it's either the fifteenth or sixteenth time I’ve tried to write it. So, I’m going to start with congrats, as someone in a very similar position as you. I’m so happy that Sera gave you a body that you are happy with. I’m also super glad to hear you are exploring womanhood. I know that it’s been really weird exploring it myself. That’s the part that I’m not sure how to convey in words, since I didn’t have the problem you did. I was and am happy as a man, but I’ve found the same happiness in my female body too… even if I’ve explored it less than some of my harem would probably like me to.
Of course, the other awkward bit is… I might(?) have voted in your ladies' initial transformation votes. I honestly can’t remember. The only thing I can say in my defense is I thought it was fictional smut. Anyway, Andy would probably chew me out if I didn’t extend an invitation to the MSA or Master/Mistress Support Association. Really, it’s more his baby than anything, but I suspect you’ll be getting a letter from Laura, considering her season has already been mentioned to you several times. She is also a member.
As someone who has been on the audience side of things and been where you are now, a few blunders I’ve made that I sincerely hope you can avoid. 1. Letting things simmer/fester (take your pick) until it got really bad. Seriously, talk things out sooner rather than later. 2. Don’t be overly trigger-happy on buying TFs, upgrades, or path changes. It might not seem like it, but especially the first two can really add up fast. You have ten weeks. Meaning your girls will be getting ten transformations minimum; it will snowball. 3. Don’t hold back from your women. That isn’t to say don’t have boundaries, because you should, but trying to insist that things progress ‘in the proper order’ can be a real detriment while on this show. Especially when the transformations get involved.
I wish you luck and happily ever afters with your harem,
Sincerely,
Mark/Mary Garret
Master and Mistress of Harem Hotel: Missed Encounters
The Pun Master Extraordinaire
P.S. If any of your contestants find our titles to be bizarre, please let them know that our Host won’t let us change them.
P.P.S. If you are reading this, that means Sera has decided to allow my gift to you, and considering how much of a weeb you are too, I figured you would enjoy it. The tin contains a set of animal cookies that, when eaten, turn the person into the associated animal-girl temporarily (24hrs). I was told Sera would also determine if this tin of four cookies can refill automatically once a round or not.

“Happy you’ve also gotten the chance to do a bit of exploring, Mark-slash-Mary.” Aífe nodded as she scanned the page. “And I agree with your harem—you should definitely spend some more time experimenting as Mary. I’ve only had them for about a week, but boobs are pretty awesome, if a bit heavy. I’ll keep your advice in mind, but seriously—how many invitations to the support group am I gonna get? They’re starting to feel like credit card offers or life insurance ads. Thanks for the cookies, though. They sound like a lot of fun.”

She was down to just a couple more pieces of mail, this one being exceptionally brief.

Dear Aífe,
I’m a Master on another season. I’m being compelled to write you with minimal info, so apologies if something comes off weird. Congrats on the new body. Also, I’m kind of envious of you right now; I wish our host was even a hundredth as kind as Sera seems. Still, be careful about her; she might not be as benevolent as she appears. For the record, my host is a literal vengeance demon, so I might be biased. You have substantial power to influence things, but I’ve come to realize we are only a little less replaceable than the contestants, so be careful.
Regards,
Master Blackstone

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m super grateful to her for the transformation I got, but that absolutely does not mean I trust her.” Aífe snuck a glance in Sera’s direction. “I’m honestly still waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Greetings.
Well, first, I do guess congratulations are in order. Happy for you this show gave you the body you wanted to be born with. Honestly, that’s likely one of the indisputable good sides of this place, despite the potential for far worse outcomes. Transitions through Magic BS going beyond anything medicine can manage for now. You may also get something allowing lesbian pregnancies too later down the line. I think making sure this is an option available for lesbian Mistresses at very least is a frequent thing in what seasons I have been able to watch. And sometimes the Contestants too.
But this is also something to worry about for later. The now? Building up good and lasting relationships between you and the rest of your harem. Good news being, from what this first week shows, you shouldn’t have much of a problem with most of the people involved. Diona… is hopefully sharp enough to realize that she needs to make you want to bang her before you bang her, and Cecilia… Well, I think you’re good enough of a person to be able to make this work eventually, including that initial TF ongoing (dunno if upgrade would change stuff or not for this). But I’d say this is better settled here, while you all have access to a magic that leads to a life of walking on eggshells until being stuck in a new normal unlikely to satisfy everyone… I do guess a bias here is showing. But still wishing the best to everyone and you.
You got the bestest break in your life, and I am not referring to the harem, even if this is likely not something you ‘mind’. Hope you can navigate this all, and meet some of the other Mistresses the show has. Might be an interesting thing. Maybe too Contestants with enough time to waste to even write letters to show they write rather than living theirs.
Keep going,
Isabelle ‘Hardric’ Richards.
PS: Also, the season might be loading up a few more drama-inducing and so far unspecified mechanics in the near future. You might want to buckle up. And remember to make sure everyone in there is there to help the others deal with that.

“They aren’t seriously expecting me to start knocking everyone up, are they?” Aífe grimaced. She had enough to worry about right now, even without the thought of having children with multiple women. “Thanks for the congratulations, but man. I kinda wish I would’ve read yours earlier. Between this and the previous letter, I’m kind of ending things on a downer. Sucks to end the fan mail on two letters that say ‘just so you know, things are probably gonna get worse’, y’know?” She was ready to start putting away all of her letters and gifts, when she noticed something had gotten knocked off of the table—a plain white box. It felt pretty light, and she opened it to find a stuffed shark she immediately recognized the design of. A small note was attached to it.

From Your Sisters, Brothers, and Siblings Between And Outside Of That

Oh, well. She smiled warmly as she put her present back in the box for safe keeping. Things probably aren’t as bad as I was making them out to be.