Watch some more TV

TV's interesting today, for change. Hell no are you going anywhere.

Jack News: "Folks, our camera crew is currently heading with Dr. Coitus to the Buffalo General Hospital where ten of the documented cases currently reside in. That will be in five minutes or so, let's hope they don't get stuck in traffic! Now we-"

A stagehand comes over to give Jack a piece of paper.

Jack News: "Aaaand it seems we have an update on the number of transformees. As people in the Midwest and South America are beginning to wake up, the number of known cases has risen rapidly! Currently there are twenty-five hundred confirmed cases, and at least ten thousand more that warrant further investigation. It's safe to say we have an epidemic on our hands! More after the break."

Okay, maybe you'll revamp your talks about not going anywhere. The fridge is certainly getting a visit.

While making yourself a little something to eat after having to rush breakfast, the phone rings. You see that it's your boss.

Sophie: "Yyyyello?"

Boss: "Sophie, where the hell are you? Three of our best salesmen have called in sick, and we need all hands on deck. You know about the weird sickness going around, right?"

Sophie: "You mean the transformations? I've also got that you know."

Boss: "Oh, sure you do! Well Miss I'm not buying it, not bloody everyone in the office can have it. I want to see some photo evidence or you're in for a Sunday shift this week."

Sophie: "I've grown two huge penises that can't get flaccid."

Boss: "A-........A-... uh.... Okay whatever. We'll settle this out. Just get me a doctor's certificate on the matter, and Ill waiver your absence."

Sophie: "Right gotcha. See ya."

Boss: "Yea bye."

Well there goes the plan for staying indoors today. Guess you have **** but got to the hospital. Thank goodness you have a car. You get your baggiest pair of pants and head off to the nearest hospital, where people seem to have made special accomondations for transformed people in a tent outside.

Sophie: "Yo, uh... I got work today and I need a doctor's note to prove I can't go. Where can I get that?"

Nurse: "You're in the right place, darling. Just take a number from here and head over to an empty bed. We're a bit short on staff right now, so fill out this query in advance."

You are handed a thin stack of papers and the number "145". You soon find an empty bed, surrounded on all sides by movable curtains for privacy. You then hear somebody yell out "Number 38? We're now serving number 38!"

Well this is gonna take all day. Wish you'd brought your phone.