Wake Them

"When I wake you, you'll both feel relaxed and energized, but Selena, you'll be annoyed that Ariana can't handle such a simple problem like posting her honest opinions online."

I woke them up.

"Wow, I feel so good," said Ariana.

"So do I," said Selena, "but, Ariana, did you really need me for this?"

"I...I just love you so much. Your like the best ever."

Selena looked at me and rolled her eyes. She then smiled.

"Ariana, I need to speak with Selena in private. Excuse us."

I took Selena into the kitchen. "Selena, Ariana is an annoying halfwit, but she worships you. Here's some things you need to tell her...." I told Selena what to tell Ariana, ands he thought they were hilarious. We went back in to the living room, where Ariana sat on the couch."

"Ariana," said Selena. "I love what you posted online today, but we can't tell anyone that. Stand your ground, though, and never apologize for what you said. Cardi and Nicki are just big-assed sluts, and I know you loved having Bebe and Ice tongue our your anus, but you need to return the favor."

"I do? Oh, yes I do!"

"And don't take 'no' for an answer."

"I won't!"

"Also, I understand you have a vibrating anal plug. Is that true?"

"Yes."

"Any time you are in the recording studio, be sure to have that up your anus and turned on full; it'll help you hit the high notes."

"Thanks for the advice."

"Selena," I said. "Would you like to go for a drink?"

"I'd love that. Ariana, post online that you will never have sex with a guy with shaved balls. Get a t-shirt made that says, 'I heart hairy sweaty balls.' Tonight, go find some random guy to bring home and fuck you up the ass. Do you have condoms?"

"Yes, but do you have to leave?"

"Yes."

Selena and I left. We decided to leave my car at her mansion and take an Uber since we would be drinking on our date.