Training Day

Our visit to Human Resources on the third floor of the tower to get Diana's ID photos taken turned out to be a chaotic mess. Since she had never signed a standard Mailgirls contract there were no proper computer records for her which led to mass confusion among HR personnel. It took a long phone call to Donna Haverly's office to sort the matter out as the two of us knelt on the floor waiting. The room also had several clothed new hires waiting to be processed staring wide-eyed at us, one of them a cute guy with a large boner straining against the fabric of his pants he was trying to hide..

A mailgirl was finally dispatched to Donna's office to bring down copies of relevant paperwork, and as luck would have it my ex-friend Stephanie was the one who showed up to deliver it. She glared down at me after handing over the documents to the HR guy as she waited to be released. I just ignored her. I'd long ago given up trying to patch things up with her and no longer felt the slightest bit of remorse about the role I'd played in forcing her to become a mailgirl. She'd made her choices and I'd finally decided I was no longer going to let the bitch run her guilt trip on me.

I glanced over at the guy with the boner and had to suppress a smile as he now had both hands covering his crotch. His first day on the job and he's already surrounded by beautiful naked women. Welcome to DDE, dude. No wonder the turnover of male employees at the company had dropped to an all-time low. Even the turnover of female employees was down after the initial exodus of a few dozen indignant women after the Mailgirls program was launched.

Once they'd finally unsnarled the bureaucratic mess Diana had pictures taken of her from every angle and her digital employee ID was created. They also weighed her and measured her body mass index which would be used as benchmarks. Mailgirls were required to keep their weight and BMI within an optimal range and these were periodically measured. It took awhile to get all of this done but she finally officially became Mailgirl 17 Tango, at least for the next six weeks.

"Sorry about that mess," I said to Diana after we'd finally exited the HR office.

"No worries," she replied. "This is pretty much like the first day of every film set I've ever been on. Total chaos while they sort out the paperwork and the pecking order of who gets what trailer, who gets priority in costume and makeup, who gets special food catered, etcetera. By the end of the day almost everyone is pissed off about something."

"You make it sound so glamorous," I joked.

"So now what?" Diana asked.

"Now I get to take you on a naked stroll through the entire complex, floor by floor. The company calls it an orientation tour. The norms here call it the 'walk of shame.'"

Diana's eyes opened wide at the prospect. "Every floor?"

"Yep," I nodded. "The goal is to help familiarize you with the layout of the complex and the numbering scheme of the offices and cubicles you'll be delivering to. It's also supposed to help you get used to being naked in front of a bunch of clothed people." It also gave DDE employees a chance to check out the "fresh flesh."

Diana took a deep breath. "Okay, Nine...oh, what the hell is your real name anyway? I don't want to call you that."

"Danica."

"Okay Danica, do me a favor and don't mention the movie if anyone recognizes me."

"Why not?"

"My role in it will come out eventually but I'd rather be seen as just another mailgirl trainee for now. I don't want to be treated any differently than any other tango."

"Sure," I said. So far Diana seemed very down to earth and likable. She was no Hollywood brat.

Since we were already in the tower I decided we might as well start here first. I led Diana to the stairwell and we began ascending toward the tenth floor. I heard her breathing begin to labor as we climbed. "I'm going to fire my personal trainer," she said as we reached the tenth floor landing. "I thought I was in better shape."

"You will be by the end of six weeks," I told her.

I pushed open the door and began leading her through the floor past well-tailored and coiffed executives, secretaries and assistants. These people were at the top of the DDE food chain and the arrogance and condescension here towards mailgirls was always palpable. They'd all seen me naked many, many times but Diana was definitely getting checked out. I took a quick glance over at her to see how she was handling it. Her face had turned a shade of crimson but she obediently kept her eyes lowered and her arms at her sides offering everyone a deferential view of her nude body. She really is beautiful, I thought, even by mailgirls standards.

As we walked through the floor I pointed out the numbering scheme used by mailgirls to identify delivery locations as well as the offices of important DDE execs. "God, it feels so weird to be walking naked through an office building like this," she said at one point. "Like a dream."

At the far end of the floor I led Diana down a corridor past a large conference room and through the glass windows I saw a meeting taking place. Barbara was in there sitting at the table facing the window but her attention at the moment was focused on someone at the end of the table speaking. I quickened my pace hoping to get by without her noticing us but before we could escape I heard the conference room door opening behind us.

"Nine. Diana," I heard Barbara's familiar voice say. We turned to face her. "Come," she said waving us toward the room.

"Shit," I muttered beneath my breath.