Thoughts and reflexions.

Ron sat in class staring at the board while the teacher explained something about upcoming tests and how important it was to keep up with the material. Normally Ron would at least try to take some notes, even if he didn’t fully understand everything. But today was different. His notebook was open, pen in hand, but the page was mostly empty except for a few half written sentences that didn’t really make sense.

He sighs quietly and leans back a little in his chair. He just couldn’t focus. His mind kept drifting back to earlier that morning. To what he told Jake. That he was going to try the full transformation pill. Just thinking about it made his stomach feel a bit weird. Not exactly bad, but definitely not calm either. A mix of nervousness and something else he didn’t want to fully admit to himself. Excitement maybe.

Ron taps his pen against the paper absentmindedly. Why am I even this worked up about it? It’s just trying something once… right? He shifts a bit in his seat. Yesterday wasn’t even that bad. Actually it was… kind of, Ron quickly shakes his head slightly and looks back at the board. Nope. Not going there right now. The teacher keeps talking but the words barely register. Instead Ron finds himself zoning out again.

He’s pulled out of it when he hears a group of students behind him talking a bit louder than before. “…I’m telling you she’s not changing back.” Ron doesn’t turn around but he listens. Wait permanently? another voice asks. Yeah like fully. She used one of those longer duration ones first. Like a month or something. Ron’s hand tightens slightly around his pen. That sounds like the stuff Jake showed him in the store. Another voice joins in. Honestly though she said it just felt right after a while. Like she didn’t even question it anymore. Ron stares down at his notebook but isn’t writing anything. Felt right… They continue talking. Apparently those pills make it way easier too. No weird transition stuff or discomfort or anything. You just change and see how it feels. Yeah and you can test it first before doing anything permanent. That’s kinda crazy if you think about it. There’s a short pause before someone laughs Still not for me though. Same here says the other person. But good for them I guess.

Ron quickly scribbles something random in his notebook to look busy. Good for them… He swallows quietly. His thoughts feel a bit louder now. They just knew after trying it? Ron shifts again in his seat, suddenly very aware of himself. That doesn’t mean anything. I’m just trying it once. He stares at the page. Right?

The teacher suddenly raises their voice slightly. Make sure you understand this because it will be on the test. Ron blinks and looks up at the board again Oh great… He looks back down at his notebook. Still mostly empty. Yeah I’m definitely not passing this if I keep this up. He sighs softly and tries to focus again, but it’s no use. His thoughts keep drifting back. To later. To the pill. To what it might feel like. Ron leans back slightly in his chair again. Just trying it doesn’t mean anything…

He pauses.… but what if it does? He stares at the board, not really seeing it. For once the upcoming tests weren’t the thing stressing him out the most.