Thinking on one's feet

Somewhere in the function room, a glass smashed on the floor. Then another, then another.

The general hubbub of conversation instantly stopped as Claire advanced upon the threesome. Eerily, the background music being piped in still played. Everyone’s head turned. Mouths hung open. Eyes bugged out. Everyone’s gob was collectively smacked.

James wasn’t really sure what was happening any more. His head was reeling. Laura cavorting under a tablecloth in a restaurant was hardly surreptitious, definitely illegal, and completely brazen. But it was on some level at least deniable. Laura had probably dropped A LOT of forks in her time. This was very different. This was a prison sentence. A birthday party. With real actual people. Aunts, uncles, extended family, the lot. And an absolutely mouthwatering princess bimbo teenager who had most definitely 100% turned eighteen that very day at the head table with some of the biggest knockers James had ever laid eyes on in his life –

Talking of knockers…!

Jesus God.

Claire’s advance on James almost, but not quite, pushed the impending terror of getting banged up for indecent exposure out of his head as the gorgeous, top-heavy slut sashayed slinkily towards him, strutting like the dirtiest pornstar’s entrance into the world-record blowbang. Her cans were fucking huge, her cleavage jutting out like a shelf, the jiggle of the globes so pronounced that one false step could see the buxom stunner on an indecency charge herself.

That was one thing. The other was the general clamour in the room now that the initial shock and amazement had worn off. Chairs were being scraped back as men made it clear they were going to intervene, forcefully. James was wincing.

‘Let me give you a fighting chance, Kiddo,’ James heard Laura say.

Dropping his penis – which did not drop, and just continued to stick absurdly out – Laura stepped forwards so that she was level with James and simply tore the dress she was wearing from her body. It came away in two handfuls and settled at her feet.

That changed things. People hesitated. Now he wasn’t just a mutant cocked flasher but an appendage to a tattooed blonde fuckdoll hardbody who was flaunting her perfect body and spherical blimp tits to the whole world. They were about to get manhandled, but Laura’s intervention had altered the complexion of their entrance.

Now people didn’t seem to know what to do.

‘Now that,’ Claire said, stopping a couple of feet from James, ‘is a penis.’

Someone had whipped off a tablecloth of one of the tables and was holding it ready to throw over the pair.

Claire winked at James. She had her back to the room but nobody else saw it.

‘Didn’t somebody order a stripogram?’ Laura called to the room, ‘one extra large male - and they threw me in for free!’

There was a general consternation in the room. If anything, with the suspicious glances that were suddenly being cast around, there were several possible culprits. The only person who seemed above such things was the girl’s dad, whose expression was unreadable, sitting at the head table, teeth clenched.

James was a scrunched up ball of anxiety – cock out! In front of a room of strangers! – but he was now wondering if he might get away without his head being punched off. All a misunderstanding. We got the wrong room. Actually it’s the party down the hall. Terribly sorry.

Then Claire put her hand to her mouth, stuck her tongue in her cheek, and made the universal ‘I’m going to blow you’ sign.

James groaned.

It was literally the last thing he wanted to do, but, irrespective of personal agency, had nowhere to hide except his behemoth penis. He was like a life support system for it. There were gasps around the room as his eighteen-inch monster schlong, rigid as an iron bar, levered upwards from his groin. There was a long moment as the length, muscular trunk, with its thick webwork of veins, stuck diagonally upwards, pointing at Claire.

Claire looked at James’s mammoth junk. Then in his eyes.

That was when a huge plume of slick, gluey, translucent precum blasted out of James’s dilated cumslit, shot through the air in the blink of an eye, and belted the statuesque fuckdoll straight between the eyes with an impact that exploded into a spray of glittering droplets of hot goo. Claire’s head reeled back from the impact.

No one had ever witnessed anything like this before, or even close to it.

A lot of people seemed to find it quite surprising.

Quite a lot of people seemed to think it was disgusting in some way.

But that's civvie street for you.