The UPS woman

Ups woman: "Hey I just need you to sign- pfft hahahaha omg it's even tinier than before haha." She says as she begins maniacally laughing. Realizing why she's laughing I quickly use one hand to cover my junk.

Sam: " Umh, umh, umh, uhh I'm so sorry! Please leave while I change." I blurt out trying to figure out whether waiting for her to leave or giving her a full moon while I run to the bathroom would be more embarrassing.

Ups woman: "Please, you opened the door butt naked multiple times and you want to act like you aren't some pervert showing off to the first woman you see." She says loudly laughing.

Sam: "I promise you it was an accident, please believe me!" I say sounding clearly desperate.

UPS woman: "I doubt it, give me one reason not to report some tiny dicked pervert to my boss or better yet the police." She says clearly looking down on him.

Sam: "Please I swear to God it was an accident, I'll do anything you say for you to believe me." I say trying not to cry.

UPS woman: "Anything you say?" She asks clearly getting an idea in her head.