The Siege of Ultopja 14 – A mountain that decided to be a sponge instead [Ulal]

He hears a muffled sound through the haze of unconsciousness. ‘Urgh, Zal really got worse at the whole cleaning thing.’ The Demonmagus thinks and concentrates on the further flow of power. The water pumping system has gotten a bit weaker.

“WAKE UP!” The scream directly into his ear makes him growl in displeasure as he turns his head to face. “Catherine! What do you want?” He asks and gets up to stretch his muscles for a bit. Might as well if he is already awake.

“I need to give you a status report and also ask you a question.” “Are the two related?” “Yes.” Ulal turns his neck and loud cracking noise echoes through the room. “Get on with it then.” Catherine takes a deep breath.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Ulal shouts once she has finished explaining the situation. “How? How can you fuck up the literal only thing that everybody needs?” He doesn’t aim the question at Catherine in particular, instead just rambling on as he walks up and down in front of the throne.

“Great, now I also have to find a solution to this mess. I hope I can find some sort of rhythm in the enemies’ attacks so I have some time between the waves to fix this while not being stuck on this energy leeching murder chair.” “No need.” Catherine says. Ulal stops dead in his movements and glances at her. “Oh? Explain.”

“I already found a solution. Or at least I likely found one. You really think I would risk you taking your anger out on me?” Ulal crosses his arms. “No actually, that doesn’t sound like you. I guess this is the part where you ask me the question?” Catherine nods. “I went through the alchemical gardens and found a mushroom that could be harvested as substitute. We don’t have the facilities to grow enough of them however.” Ulal sighs, “So you want me to create them? That is going to take time and energy I do not have…” “Just shut the hell up for like thirty seconds, the whole world doesn’t resolve around you.” Catherine demands as she frowns.

‘I disagree with that statement.’ Ulal thinks and raises an eyebrow but does stay silent. ‘This girl is getting exceedingly bolder.’ He thinks. A wave of his hand tells her that she should continue. “I just need you to answer a single question: How thick did you make the walls?”

Ulal stares out of the window, then he starts snickering. “Yes, yes, of course.” He says, “Genius, very good idea. I almost forgot where we are.” He stares out the window. ‘The Wekgrond, the most cave riddled mountain there is.’ He thinks, ‘If it is damp, sunless rooms she needs there would be more than enough there.’ “three metres. The layer of stone is three metres thick, pure granite. Nothing a couple of mages with the right tools shouldn’t be able to dissolve in a few hours or a day.”

Catherine nods. “Great. I will get to it then.” “Wait.” She freezes in her turning motion; a questioning look in her eyes. “How is the siege going?” Ulal asks. “Well…” Catherine sighs. “Like this it can go on forever. Provided the mushrooms do grow in the caves we have food and water and plenty of it. Meat might run a bit short over the coming months but nothing that rationing can’t solve. As long as you sit on that throne the enemies’ catapults are useless and they can’t storm the sealed gate either. It is a continued stalemate.”

Scratching the back of his head Ulal mumbles. “Weird….” Catherine raises an eyebrow. “What is?” “Shouldn’t they be in a bigger hurry?” He looks at the enemy camp in the distance, beyond the city walls. “I had thought them to be more desperate at this point, with all the bandits crawling around the countryside and Ulric at Arlheim’s gates. Hell, I bet he captured it at this point and with that being the case they should be trying the most honourless tactics they can come up with. Instead they keep sitting there as if they had the time for by the book warfare.”

Catherine’s laughs. “I can guess why.” She says. “Helena has come here with the order to defeat us and if there are any orders to hurry she isn’t getting them.” Ulal raises and eyebrow in amusement “Explain.” The witch nods. “She never got along with the nobility. This is just a theory but maybe the nobles are intercepting the messengers so that Helena won’t do any rash decisions that they think could harm themselves or their honour.”

“Like attacking and failing or retreating to return once other rebellions have been destroyed.” Ulal smiles widely. “An army lead by a lion and held back by donkey’s. Nobles sure are full of idiots. Aiming to stay out of danger but within the reach of glory unaware of the fact that their grip on the situation is slipping with each passing day.”

He sits down again. “If that is true this stalemate works in our favour. Ulric should continue to incite rebellions all over the country. Maybe the Grimoire gets finished before even that. I hate being a sitting duck but it seems that is the best course of action currently. How is the deployment of railguns coming along?” “Steadily. We should have the whole wall equipped in a few months.”

Ulal closes his lids halfway. “That sounds good enough. One last question then: How are you and Aclysia doing?” Catherine blinks. “What?” “What what? Spit it out I’m curious and bored.” The witch shakes her head, an image Ulal can only see slightly as his eyes slowly close further. “Sorry, it is just so unlike you to care about anybody.” “I am not caring about ANYBODY, think I give a shit about some peasant in the street starving? Now give me the answer.”

“Aclysia is acting a bit suspicious these days but I guess that is not entirely weird with her, otherwise she seems to be doing good. I, myself, got to finally kick Tarzana’s butt so I feel great.” Ulal laughs. “For all her talk that she is one of the strongest Evocation mages out there she is a pretty easy enemy isn’t she?” “That is because she IS all talk. Anything else, Ulal?” “Nah, you can fuck off now.”

Catherine leaves the Demonmagus behind on his throne. The magic circuit pulls at him but he doesn’t give in just yet. ‘Waiting is our best course of action, huh?’ he thinks. ‘All I need to do to power this thing is eating every few days. My muscles don’t become weaker, it seems I am fixed into a single physical condition now. Pretty useful all things considered. No body hair to deal with but the long hair at the top annoys me.’ His thoughts wander from one place to another as the magic circuit starts synchronizing with him.

‘Where did these rats come from though? I oversaw the construction of the corn chamber personally. I even installed enchantments against pests like rats and mice that would make their souls itself explode. Yet, nobody seems to have put them there…. I will investigate further once I get of this chair.’

He rolls his shoulder and gets as comfortable as possible. ‘This is incredibly boring though. Sure, at first pulling the strings of magic to make the circuit work with maximum efficiency was interesting but by now I just go through the same motions over and over again. When did I last kill or fuck something? Honest question, having the eyes closed all day kind of fucks with your sense of time as it turns out. I really want to enchant something too, haven’t created an item in forever. Speaking of enchantments, I hope everyone is wearing the identification pins, otherwise the end of this war I going to be very ugly.’