The Non-Canon (Fun) Ending

It started, of all things, in Westview. Agatha’s house, the witch musing to herself as she peered into Sylvie’s head.

“Makes sense of some things, and makes a mess of some others,” Agatha said. “Always wondered why there was never a multiverse out there. Every law of magic suggests there ought to be one.”

Sylvie hadn’t replied, of course. She’d been obliviously going along with the enchantment, nude and flustered and powerless. Agatha seemed to find it amusing.

“Though this erasure, that’s… wrong,” Agatha said. “You can’t create or destroy anything, not completely. You can move it, sure, oh you can change its state, but there always has to be a speck. In other dimensions, or elsewhere in this one. You’d need chaos magic to do anything else, and the last thing that would come from would be a bureaucracy. No. Hm.”

And that had been where Sylvie had started to consider that pruning might not be the end - that, rather than destroy things, it just… moved them out of the way, to a point far enough away from the much-vaunted sacred timeline that the TVA could forget about it.

And Agatha agreed.

So Sylvie let herself be pruned. Let herself take that gamble, that escape…

And opened her eyes on gloomy, grassy ground. Her nipples hardened in the cold air, and blades of grass tickled her bare back; eyes wide, she immediately sat up, crossing her arms. Oh, how she wished she’d managed to actually get someone on before Ravonna arrived…

She sat up. There was a vast, smoky thing not far away - purple light was repelling it, Agatha a few steps ahead of her, feet firmly planted in the ground, her bare ass level with Sylvie’s head. Sylvie stumbled back, and looked sideways at the sound of movement.

Right. The TVA had just pruned everyone in their cells. Which meant, well, this. Naked women as far as the eye could see. Thankfully, she couldn't see Hela anywhere - hopefully she'd been caught by surprised before Agatha made it.

“Run!” shouted Sif, to the general fray; there was a blur of flesh of all colors, from pale to dark to green, people them picking themselves up from the ground and pushing past one another to put a bit more distance between themselves and the vast, smoky, hungry maw in the sky.

Agatha kept the devourer at a distance. The sea of nude women ran.

“You!” said a venom-filled voice.

“Time and a place, dearie,” Agatha said.

Crimson light joined the violet in repelling the… thing above them, whatever it was that the TVA figured would take care of pruned variants. With it distracted, then managed to get away.

Some of the women were focused, more concerned with sprinting and leaping over the uneven ground; others were squealing, clutching their arms back against their bodies and trying to keep some shred of modesty as they ran across the plain, to a small open area outside the field of detritus around the devourer.

They slowed, with the massive thing some distance away, not pursuing.

“Does anyone know what the heck that was?” Daisy said, one arm over her breasts and a hand over her crotch - it was, Sylvie reflected, a pose that a lot of those present mimicked.

“Any other magical girls here? No?” Agatha said. She sighed. “Well this is disappointing.”

Then there was a moment of chaos - Wanda threw an orb of red light, flashing her breasts to do so, which spattered against a purple shield of magic. Seeing an aggressor, a pink-cheeked Thena formed a sword and shield from magical outlines, baring her toned body to lunge - and, recognising Wanda, a handful of Earth-natives went to her defense. May and Natasha moved, as did a newly green Jennifer, and a pulse of vibrational energy from Daisy. Thena stumbled, and a Makkari sped to her side, covering herself.

And then Kate Bishop recognized Sylvie in among all the blushing women and squeaked, gesturing vaguely with an elbow. More than a few people followed her gaze, with less-than-fond memories of the blonde.

Sylvie felt a lot of skin suddenly press against hers as she was thrown to the ground. She flushed, vaguely flailing to defend herself, trying not to think about the parts she was touching.

“Hold!” Sif shouted, again, voice carrying across the battlefield. “Everyone. We must prioritize!”

There was a moment of stillness. Sylvie awkwardly turned her head sideways; Thena and Makkari were still warily watching Wanda. Xialing was straddling Sylvie, trying to keep her pinned, with Natasha and Kate trying to get at Sylvie too - Sylvie’s arms were outstretched, blindly flailing and grabbing at Jessica Jones and Hope, who were just as nearby. All, naturally, were as naked as they had been on arrival.

Sylvie’s face burned. She squirmed.

“This is not Valhalla,” Sif said.

“I don’t know about that,” Valkyrie murmured, looking around appreciatively.

“It is not,” Sif said, quite insistently, covering with her arms. “We are not dead. If we scuffle, we doom ourselves.”

There was a pause. A handful of women kept out of the roughhousing, less suited to the violent pursuits. Katy Chen, Angie Martinelli, Betty Ross, MJ, Darcy…

Sylvie raised her eyebrows. Huh, yeah, there are a lot of them.

“You,” Sif said, looking at Agatha, still flushed. “You know of this?”

“Seen it in a grimoire or two,” Agatha said. “Alioth. There were a few sightings from past-scriers, but it vanished from observation eons back. Guess he’s here.”

“But why are we here?” May, awkwardly covering.

“The last thing I remember,” Pepper said, face crimson, “It was like I was at a board meeting, I had to give a speech but I couldn’t find my clothes, and any time I tried to get out it reset until I was in front of…” her voice trailed off into the upper octaves. “Then I was here.”

The crowd shifted awkwardly.

“I was at an audition,” Angie mumbled.

“Training,” Okoye said, stiffly, hands over her core. Most of the crowd looked rather flustered at that reminiscing,

“Isolation cells,” Gamora said. “They had me in one. We must’ve all been left in…”

“Er. Does anyone else remember being stripped by a crazy blonde nudist?” it was MJ who spoke next, warily looking down at the trapped Sylvie, probably least able to cover herself of those present.

All eyes went to her. Sylvie flushed, nervously scanning the crowd.

“If it helps, I did try to rescue you,” Sylvie said.

“And you’re out now,” Agatha said. “Bright sides, everyone.”

“Where are we, though?” Sharon said, very firmly crossing an arm over her breasts, and trying not to stare at Angie.

“The end of time, at a guess,” Agatha said. “They couldn’t erase us, so they sent us out the way.”

“Where they won’t follow,” Sylvie said. “A place out of their reach.”

“Er. If no one else is going to say it,” Darcy squeaked. “Did anyone bring a jacket?”

Twenty seven naked woman stood in the field, not a shred of covering between them. There was a length, embarrassed pause.

“It was the only safe place,” Sylvie said. “A place to just… survive, if she can repel Alioth.”

“Give me a jiffy, I’ll whip up a ward,” Agatha said. She grinned to herself. “Mighty curious about who set that little guard dog up mind you. Might check it out once everyone’s settled.”

“Settled?” Kate (Bishop, rather than Chen) said.

“Unless you know of any other way out, dearie.”

“Er. We can’t just stay here, can we?” Katy (Chen, not Bishop) said, eyes wide, fidgeting. “This is the middle of nowhere. And we’re kinda naked.”

“But we’re alive. And not streaking through a foreign city,” Natasha said. She cleared her throat awkward. “No memory cells here. I can live with that.”

“And here?” Hope said, looking at Sylvie.

“She was with Hela,” Valkyrie said.

“Was,” Sylvie said, pointedly. “She’s not here now. For a reason.”

“We shouldn’t turn on each other, not here,” Sif said.

There was a shifting, a familiar face peering over Xialing’s shoulder.

“Sylvie,” one of the Avas said, breathless. Sylvie closed her eyes in relief. “She helped me. I won’t let anyone hurt her.”

“Any objections?” Sif said. “We ought to start focusing on what’s important.”

There was a pause. Slowly, Sylvie was allowed to sit up, though she kept her arms tightly crossed over her breasts.

Living for the foreseeable future nude, with a whole host of other naked women. That was… not how she’d expected her future to go. Daisy squirmed. One Ava hid behind the other (and Sylvie tried not to think too hard about that). Kate blushed furiously. Makkari was steadfastly silent and keeping her arms over her body.

“I object to her being here,” Wanda said, eyes on Agatha.

“Water under the bridge,” Agatha said dismissively. “You did brainwash a whole town.”

“Did she?” Thena said. She shifted closer to Wanda. “Hm. You remind me of a friend of mine.”

Wanda blinked.

“I have an objection,” Jennifer piped up. “Isn’t this, like, way too plotty for what’s basically porn?”

Her complaint went ignored as Natasha shifted location in the crowd, and caught sight of a blonde.

“Yelena? You’re here?” she said, staring, then catching herself staring and flushing, looking away. Yelena suddenly went even redder.

“Um. Hi,” she said. She hesitated. “Not the reunion I had imagined.”

There were a lot of things to figure out over the next few days. Strangers had introduced one another, and acquaintances settled where they were in time. The indefinite nudity seemed to be something they’d adjust to.

There were materials, of course, but the edifices that seemed to be dismissed in reset charges weren’t made of the right kind of matter to fashion clothing out of. Still, they had a use for stones and metal and wood, if just to make shelter. Thena’s blades could cut almost anything it seemed, Makkari could quickly scoop things out from near Alioth, and between Wanda, Agatha, Sif, Jennifer, Valkyrie and Jessica, there was enough strength to assemble simple dwellings.

For the place that would, it seemed, be where they lived now. Agatha marked out protective runes - even offering a little academic advice to Wanda, to mark a barrier to keep out any oddities.

Natasha, Yelena, Okoye, May and Sharon turned their attention more to planning. Daisy, Gamora and Xialing helped gather materials, while Hope and Kate had taken up the role of relaying messages. That left a handful of the nude survivors without much of a skill-set to be of use, save for keeping track of necessities - some food was pruned, though Wanda seemed able to create some from nothing.

Angie, Pepper, Darcy, Betty, Katy and MJ didn’t have much to do outside the settlement - and honestly, most seemed very glad to hunker down behind impromptu doors rather than walk the fields nude.

Sylvie helped where she could, figuring she might as well. This wasn’t any kind of long-term dwelling, but it would do for now. Before they managed better.

And then there was her room. She ended up sharing with Ava, if just for the companionship. (And, well, the other Ava. It seemed more efficient to have people room together, and Ava was less shy around herself. Sylvie wasn’t complaining). Sylvie stirred, yawned, and quietly stepped over one of the nude, sleeping Avas.

Somewhat reluctantly, she had come to stop covering up - if this was their future, they couldn’t live all their lives exhausting their arms by clutching them over themselves. People like Daisy and Darcy and Kate, who were more skittish, sometimes crossed their arms more often, but as for the rest, they’d resigned themselves to a lifetime of being exposed.

So, it was with her arms to her sides and a flush rising in her cheeks, that Sylvie stepped outside her impromptu hut. She swallowed.

Asgardians lived for a long time - and time didn’t even really seem to be passing her. She’d gotten used to hiding out nude, when all this had begun - but then, it had at least been with tattered shreds, after her clothing had worn away. And, at least, she’d been alone. Now she was in less, with more people.

Which wasn’t entirely a bad thing, she supposed. She glanced back into her room, then walked out a little way. The grass tickled her feet, and she was still unused to the cool air, like perpetual morning, a slight dampness clinging to her skin.

There was Xialing, helping bring a few more bits of wood back to their new home, body remarkably well toned. And Betty, there, sat on the grass and staring up at the sky with a telescope they’d salvaged, apparently trying to figure out if this place’s constellations were familiar - or, at least, to do something to distract herself from her nudity. She’d been one of the most flustered, not long ago.

Wanda was walking the border of the village, doing a final few tweaks on the magical wards, legs tightly pressed together with each step as though that hid the rest of her bare skin. Hope was running back to her, arm crossed over her breasts as much to make running easier as for modesty.

“There’s the woman of the hour,” Agatha said.

Sylvie felt heat rise to her cheeks, inevitably - even if this was going to be her new normal, she didn’t know if she’d ever manage to hold a conversation naked without wanting to squeal and hide.

“Agatha,” Sylvie said.

“Glimpsed a manor through a tiny dimensional tear,” Agatha said. “Seems like a win-win. It’s better shelter, the guy there’s the Timekeeper you were looking for, and it looks like a heck of a vantage point from which to look at time.”

Sylvie hesitated.

“No clothes there. Not the biggest surprise,” Agatha said.

“You seem… less worried about that,” Sylvie said. Almost unconsciously, she crossed her arms, adjusting her breasts awkwardly.

“Witch, dear,” Agatha said. “Not the first time I’ve run around a field skyclad. Or the second. Or the eightieth.”

“I’m Asgardian. I’ve known witches,” Sylvie said. “I’m pretty sure most don’t do that.”

“We all need hobbies,” Agatha said. She winked. “But anyway, thought I’d let you know. We can move somewhere nicer. Roof over our heads, think it has some food supply. Just need a little help getting through Alioth. Between you, me, Wanda, and I’m pretty sure Thena and Val have wanted to have a scuffle with the thing.”

“And there’s a house on the other side?” Sylvie said.

“And the Timekeeper,” Agatha said. “And a view. Do you want to tell everyone we’re moving, or shall I?”

“You!” Sylvie said quickly.

No, she was not getting up in front of everyone.

Though being able to move to a manor would be… better. A comfier place to spend the years with all the myriad nude women trapped here with her.

So she’d managed all she’d wanted to, technically. If they did take down the TVA, and survive, and she’d technically made sure all the TVA’s captive didn’t die…

This was a win, she told herself. And, face red, Sylvie swallowed. Admittedly she’d have preferred an outcome that didn’t apparently end with her spending the rest of her life naked out here.

Agatha laughed wickedly, and walked away from the red-faced Sylvie with a sway in her step and all too much confidence. Sylvie kept her arms crossed, fidgeting a little, nervously adjusting her legs.

Well, it wasn’t like she had a choice. They’d get through Alioth, have a home, and… and…

Well. Hopefully they’d get used to the unavoidable nudism after a few years. Hopefully.