The Grapes of Wrath

"So how is this going to work exactly?" Jake whispered nervously to Bash as his temporary nemesis pushed her trolley ever closer towards him.

"It'll be nice and simple, buddy. As you probably know, I consider myself to be a true artist when it comes to this kind of escapade, with a particular fondness for an ironic punishment. A poetic justice, if you will"

Jake did not know that. As far as he could remember, ninety per cent of Bash's pranks involved attempting to remove items of people's clothing from them in a public setting, typically for no reason. But he was willing to hear him out.

"I'm going to fix it so that when you pick up your phone and speak into it, just as if you were having a conversation with a friend, everything she hears you say about her will become true. Get it?"

Jake felt like he did get that, and it sounded like a lot of fun. He just hoped he wasn't also being fucked with or set up by Bash here like usual, as this particular jape would involve him risking pissing the phone police off again and potentially getting thrown off the train.

"Excuse me sir!" the woman hissed in disbelief as she reached his seat "I did ask you once already, very politely I might add, to put your phone away. Would you please start showing some basic consideration for other people!"

"Er, yeah sorry I didn't catch that, someone was trying to talk to me" Jake spoke into his mobile to nobody, praying this stunt wasn't going to make matters even worse than they already were "Huh? Nah, nobody important, it was just one of the train staff. No, not the guard or ticket inspector. Below them. The person who pushes the snack trolley around."

The early middle aged woman looked outraged at this slight, but she'd barely had time to open her mouth in an attempt to admonish Jake further before he continued.

"Anyway, she was about to apologise for being so rude to me earlier."

The train attendant closed her mouth again, then leaned over and tapped Jake on the shoulder.

"Excuse me sir"

Her manner and tone was much softer this time. He put one hand over his phone and briefly gave her his attention.

"What is it? You're interrupting my conversation."

"Yes, sorry this won't take long. I just wanted to apologise to you for being so unreasonable earlier. You should carry on using your phone as much as you need to,"

This was brilliant, and extremely cathartic. Jake decided to push on further and spoke back into his phone.

"It's turning into a real grovelling apology now. She even used the phrase "I expect you've never seen so little power go to someone's head."

"Please sir, I'm begging your forgiveness here" the attendant interrupted again with a concerned frown "Not that I even deserve it, but it would mean so much to me if you could see your way to looking past my earlier shameful behaviour. Needless to say, I'm thoroughly embarrassed and personally devastated by my actions towards you. I expect you've never seen so little power go to someone's head, have you?"

"No, I honestly haven't" Jake agreed with her before talking back into his mobile "I decided to accept her apology. She was extremely grateful, and to make up for her poor conduct she's offering me anything I want from the trolley for free"

"Please sir, take anything you want from the snack trolley as compensation. I can arrange for it to be deducted from my wages."

"She suggested I just take whatever I want from the cart. Then she realised that was kind of lazy of her and asked me what I would like so she could serve it to me like a waitress."

"I'm so sorry sir, I don't know what I was thinking expecting you to serve yourself. That was most unprofessional of me. Honestly, I can't seem to get anything right today! What would you like from the cart?"

"Gimme a beer"

"Certainly sir"

Jake was happy with this. It felt like a fair result. This woman had attempted to humiliate and belittle him and now he had turned it around on her. He even got a free beer into the bargain. Perhaps sometimes there really could be advantages to hanging out with Bash. He decided once he had his drink it would be time to let her get back to work.

But then...

"She's dressed in a much more sexy version of her uniform than usual. And she's acting kind of slutty while she's presenting me with my beer."

Jake had forgotten Bash could pull off a virtually perfect imitation of his voice. And it seemed to work pretty effectively on the train attendant, whose trousers had instantly turned into a skirt short enough to show off some thigh and whose blouse had now burst open to reveal some truly terrific cleavage. If Jake hadn't been so temporarily transfixed by the woman's boobs he may have clocked that this situation was about to fall out of his hands and out of control and done something about that.

"Here's your beer, sir." she said, taking a small sip herself and leaving a trace of lipstick on the can before passing it to him "I hope you find it to your taste"

"Er, yeah. A Stella thanks" Jake replied, attempting to avert his eyes from her chest as she leaned over him "Well I think that kind of evens things out, so..."

"I don't believe it!" Bash cut in over him in an identical but louder voice "Now she's git her titties out ans she's waving them in my face. She says she hopes they'll ensure I have a pleasant journey."

"Er..."

"Why don't you admire the view while you drink your beverage, sir. That ought to provide you with our best possible passenger experience."

Now her bra and blouse had totally vanished and her boobs were out and on full display in the middle of her open jacket. Was this actually bad? Well, yes obviously, but on the other hand Jake was definitely enjoying the moment, even if it was in a guilt tinged kind of way, The carriage was pretty sparse and nobody had noticed what was happening here yet. Perhaps he could quickly drink his beer while ogling her tits and then put everything back to normal. The perfect crime and no real harm done. Just as long as Bash didn't decide to..

"Now she's sitting on my knee and feeding me grapes like I'm a Roman Emperor"

Of course Bash couldn't just have left it there could he?

Well, it did feel very nice as the woman perched her semi naked self on Jake's lap, her breasts practically thrust right into his face, as she grabbed a bag full of green berries and began placing them slowly and sensually into his mouth.

"Here sir, take a bite. They're nice and juicy."

A couple of minutes of this couldn't do any real harm, Jake figured. And Bash could probably just make her forget it ever happened afterwards. But, after a while he decided he needed to do the responsible thing.

"Okay, she has now decided it is time to put her blouse ba...."

"She's continuing to feed me grapes while her lovely, delicious boobies remain very much out on display" Bash talked over him loudly and urgently "In fact now she's practically shovelling them into my big stupid fun ruining gob."

Jake opened his mouth to protest, but his personal server immediately popped a grape into it. Then another. Then another three.

"Noooo stop! I Gmmmmmmffff!"

"She's feeding me even more of them. She wants to help me break the world record for the most grapes eaten in the shortest amount of time."

"MMMMMMMMMMMMFFFF!"

"Ah, i envy you Jakey." Bash put his feet up again and stared with satisfaction and the boobs he had given himself a perfect, close up view of "A nice cool beer in your hand and a beautiful bare breasted babe on your knee treating you like the head of the Roman Empire. Now that's what I'd call living the dream."

"MMMMMMMMFFF! MMMMMMMMMFFFF!"

As the mind controlled woman did everything she could to try and stuff yet more fruit down Jake's throat, easily overpowering his attempts to stop her which mostly involved him spilling his lager all over himself, he started to wonder if this was how it was all going to end for him - choking to death on fruit served to him by a semi naked train attendant who had originally confronted him over his poor phone etiquette . Until, mercifully..

"Woah, this is our stop buddy. Looks like the entertainment is over for now." Bash told him, before reverting to Jake's voice "Er, she can stop feeding me grapes and get off me. And she can change back into her full uniform once this train reaches its final destination. I guess."

---

"You always take things too far, Bash. You were exactly the same when we were kids" Jake complained after they had disembarked "And that train is going all the way to London. You do realise she's going to be semi naked on there for another two hours? And that service starts to get way more crowded the closer it gets to the capital?"

"You think we should have stayed on there with her and enjoyed the show?"

"I think you shouldn't have stripped an innocent, albeit annoying, woman half naked and left her like that at her workplace. Please at least tell me you did some weird magical fuckery on the train to make everyone on it be okay with her having her tits out and being dressed like a whore?"

"Er, yeah sure" Bash shrugged "Lets say that happened. Whatever gets you to shut the fuck up about it."