The Fuck Just Happened?

I awoke with a throbbing head and a sense of disorientation. The environment around me was like a living canvas of shifting colors, unlike anything I'd seen. Struggling to move, I found my limbs unresponsive. The sky above was a mesmerizing dance of shapes and hues, impossible to grasp.

Oddly enough, I noticed my foot didn't hurt anymore. The pain from the injury I'd sustained earlier was absent, as if that part of me was no longer connected to this bewildering reality. This added to my confusion, another puzzle piece that didn't fit into the larger enigma before me.

Before I could ponder this any more, I felt a booming voice in my head;

"GREETINGS MINDSLAVER, I AM GOLTHUEM, THE... Eldritch god of wonderful gifts"

Startled, I turned to my left, where What was before me was a four armed, four nippled, grey demon-like being, with a tentacled face, weird fleshy tail, and two dicks.

"Ok, Listen here Calamari, I don't know what the fuck happened here or why you're doing this, but if somebody put you up to this, I swear to whatever fucked up god you believe in I will shove a boot so far up your ass your intestines get a good look at em"

Clearly, my words had a certain effect, as Golthuem crosses two of his arms, leaving the other two in their neutral position.

"Ignoring your flagrant lack of respect, I do admit, it is refreshing that someone is willing to treat me as something other than a god, it gets quite old after a while..."

"Anyways, you have been selected as a mindslaver due to your circumstances with the devil named Sara-"

"Wait a fucking minute, Devil?"

"Hold your tongue, or I will flaggelate you with my mind." He growled out, and the shapes and hues began to move, shifting and contorting

"Very well, Please continue"

"Ahem, as I was saying, the Devil named sarah and I had an arrangement, her position of mindslaver was to be sustained until she bedded a man"

"And, as you clearly see, she had bedded you, thus her position as mindslaver and all of her slaves will now be your property, to do with as you please."

"Excuse me, Mindslaver? Devil? Slaves?" I blurted out, then cringed, realizing how **** I sounded

"Why of course, allow me"

Suddenly, he appears next to me, and one of his fleshy digits taps me on the forehead, and I feel my vision going dark again, before reverting to normal.

Suddenly, a rush of information flooded in my brain, and I immediately knew what I wanted to do.