Inside I know that I will probably be doing all kinds of things with my new brother Toby sooner than later but at this moment I feel like talking to my father, I peek around the dining room corner and see dad watching me , I wave at him and say “ Hi Dad I know you are out there in the dining room and would like you to come out to talk to me “ as I awaited his response… “ Oh Hi Johnny , what’s up buddy ?” As dad comes into the room and sits down beside me, looking at me in a kind but weird way he asked “ Johnny are you ok ? Is there anything you want to talk about ?? You know you can tell me anything and I will still love you … you know that right ??? “
I asked him “ Dad have you ev er wanted to do something that you have never done before but was just a little scared to do it ? “ .
Flashes of what dad saw Johnny doing earlier kept popping in his mind and so he asked “ Does this have anything to do with what you were acting out just a little bit ago on the couch facing Toby ? “ and my heart sank knowing that dad had whiteness it all .
“ Johnny it’s ok to like what you like, do you want to share anything with me right now ? Might even make you feel better if you do “ . I just look at dad and wonder if he would let me practice on him ???
“Dad would you let me try something with you that I have been thinking about a lot lately ? “ Dad almost shuddered inside knowing what you are talking about and what is about to come.
“ Dad would it be ok to practice something that I have been thinking about doing on you ? Would that be ok dad ?? Will you let me try on you for the first time in my life ? “.
