Switching Sides

Luke arrived at the restaurant to find that both Sasha and Diane were waiting separately for him by the entrance. He greeted both, then briefly introduced his dates to each other, before heading inside.

It was probably a relief to Luke that it was a guy who would be serving the trio that evening, rather than another hot woman. Before discovering the Romance Mechanic, he never would have dreamed that having too many sexy females to date could ever be a problem for him, but his love life was starting to dominate every waking minute of his entire life and leave him almost permanently exhausted. However, so long as the options were there, it was virtually impossible not to pursue them. In culinary terms, it was like being at an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet in a Michelin starred restaurant serving his favourite cuisine twenty four seven - just because there would inevitably come a point where it would obviously be in his best interests to stop eating, that didn't mean the temptation to go and fill his plate up yet again wouldn't be too overwhelming to resist.

"Table for three please"

"Certainly sir"

It was beginning to irk Luke that he wasn't getting the reaction he clearly deserved for having two hot dates at once, one of them a major celebrity. That was a completely illogical annoyance, of course, as the app was trying to make his dating life as simple as hassle free as possible by normalising whatever happened between him and his connections in the eyes of the rest of the world. Still, it would have been nice to have been made to feel like the King he knew he currently looked like.

"This is our first date, Luke. Isn't it a bit premature for you to be introducing me to your mother?" Sasha deadpanned as she gestured towards Diane.

Oh fuck! They hadn't even been taken to their tables yet and it was already kicking off.

"I'm obviously not his mother!" Diane spat back angrily.

"Sorry, gran" the comic corrected herself cheekily "If it makes you feel any better, you almost look too young for that"

"Luke, are you just going to let her stand there and insult me?"

He thought for a moment back to the advice Aphrodite had given him regarding this kind of scenario. The worst thing he could do here was sit on the fence. If he wanted to raise affection efficiently, Luke needed to pick a side.

"Lighten up Diane, Sasha is one of the most famous comedians in the country. Plenty of people would pay good money to get roasted by her"

"Thanks Luke!" Sasha smiled appreciatively as Diane folded her arms angrily.

Luke managed to sneak a look at his Love List. As usual, what Aphrodite had told him had been entirely accurate. Sasha had just received a significant boost to her rating, while any drop in Diane's affection level had been so minimal as to barely be visible.

With the table now free, the server led the group towards it.

"Can I take your coat, Madam?"

"Yes, thank you" Diane nodded.

"Can you also take the broom out of her arse?" Sasha followed up jokingly.

"Luke, I really don't like this!" Diane protested.

"Okay Sasha, you aren't on stage now. We've already established Diane doesn't appreciate being roasted"

"Fine" the comedian rolled her eyes.

"Thank you, Luke" Diane smiled a little smugly.

He checked his phone again. Now his boss had received a big boost, while Sasha had lost next to none of the gains she had made just a few minutes earlier. This was brilliant! In a fucked up way, these two paired even better than Rachel and Stef.

They had hated each other on sight and seemed almost designed to fight like cat and dog, That ought to give Luke all kinds of opportunities to fast track both of their affection levels simply by continually switching from one side to the other while they argued. He could probably have them mud-wrestling each other naked to compete for his approval before the week was over if they kept this up.

"So Diane..." Sasha started up again as their starters were cleared away. She was speaking in a tone Luke could already identify as indicating she was about to say something provocative "I understand you have worked your way up to quite a senior position in your firm. I'm impressed, it must have taken a lot of single mindedness and dedication to suck that many dicks"

"How dare you!" Diane snapped back.

"Actually Sasha, all joking aside, considering how good she is at her job, Diane would probably be even higher up the corporate ladder than she is if she was a guy"

"Thank you, Luke. I genuinely appreciate that"

His phone let out a long, meaningful buzzing sound, and Luke could soon feel a foot rubbing up against his calf from Diane's side. Okay, that meant his boss was up to two hearts. Make out territory.

"Do other comedians tend to get upset with you, Sasha?" now it was Diane's turn to be bitchy "Because there are so many of them who are way funnier and more talented than you are, but you hoover up all the TV work just because you're pretty?"

"Wow, you really are a nasty old bitch aren't you?" the comic actually seemed rattled for once.

"Sasha had already won tons of comedy awards from playing the circuit before she ever got a role on TV, Diane" Luke continued with his highly effective strategy of repeatedly changing who he backed "Ask any other top comedian, they'll tell you the respect they have for her is huge"

"Why thank you, kind sir"

Luke's phone let out another prolonged buzz. Now he could feel Sasha's hand stroking his thigh. This was incredible! He had accidentally hit on a perfect strategy to raise both of these women's affection levels quickly and simultaneously by playing them off each other. If he had intended this, he would have been a genius.

By the time the meal was over, the two women were practically fighting over Luke outside the restaurant, barely waiting their turn before pushing their competitor off him and making out with their shared date themselves. Despite this all happening out in the open on a fairly busy evening, and even with one of the love rivals being a household name, nobody batted an eyelid at their antics.

"So Luke" Sasha asked after a while "The night is still young. Wanna head back to my place so I can show you my entire collection of charity shop crap? Or I'd be fine going to your place if you'd prefer"

"Don't be so presumptuous!" Diane scolded the comic "Luke might prefer to go to mine, or I could head to his just as happily"

This was completely unexpected, but not at all unwelcome. The two women were so keen to one up each other that they were inviting Luke back to their place while they were still only on two hearts. He had done such an effective job of raising his dates affection levels during the meal that both of them were now within striking distance of hitting that all important third though. If he spent the rest of the evening with either one of them. he could probably do it. So while sex was out of the question for tonight, a naked blow job, either from his sexy boss or a hot celebrity, might not be.

Trying to somehow continue on with both right now was going to be way too messy though. For the final and most crucial time that evening, Luke was going to have to pick a side.