Show Him Who's God

Vanessa leaned back in the pew and rested her arms along the top edge, which made her enormous chest stand out. Pastor Andy's eyes flicked down to her massive breasts and back up to her eyes with a flinch of guilt. He was also confused, normally he was so disciplined about not leering at his congregants, except through the hidden cameras he had set up in the bathrooms. Vanessa laughed as she heard his thoughts.

"Come on, Pastor, you should know you can't lie to God." She smirked, and focused her will again. "You're not here to get some paperwork, you're here to fuck your secretary on the alter, the way you do every week."

That hadn't been true until Vanessa decided it was true. He'd been having the affair, which she'd realized just as soon as she wanted to know anything there was to know that could embarrass him, but their fuck-on-the-alter dates were on Wednesdays, not Tuesdays. No, he'd been here to clean up from the party he'd had with some fallen women of negotiable virtue on Monday evening.

"I--what? How--you're mistaken." Sweat drenched Pastor Andy's shirt, but he rallied into denial, and drew himself up tall. "Vanessa, I'm sorry but I have to ask you to leave."

Right then, the roof lifted away with a ripping crash. Stained glass windows shattered as the whole entire top of the church was carried away by an gigantic feminine hand reaching down from the sky. The holy radiance of Vanessa gazed down from the clouds and said in a voice that shook the sky, "It's my house, bitch."

Then she spit on him. Enough saliva to fill a fifty-five gallon drum landed on Pastor Andy and knocked him to the floor. After a moment of stunned shock, he screamed, pissed his pants, and began thrashing around in horror and confusion. "WHAT IS HAPPENING?"

"I'm GOD, you stupid pile of shit!" Vanessa shouted in his face. "I AM GOD AND YOU'RE GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOU'RE MY SLAVE, OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU AND SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!"

Her voice was so loud Pastor Andy had begun to bleed from both ears and was now totally deaf. He'd heard her, all right, and then nothing ever again. Not until she decided--if she decided--to heal him.

"Oh Lord, please don't kill me," whined Pastor Andy, lapsing into an incoherent stream of pleading prayer.

Just then his secretary Becky arrived. Vanessa smiled and waved. "Hi Becky!"