Settling in

The area around him faded in slowly, and he found himself once again in the abandoned building he had first entered the Gateway from. He didn’t know where to start. His parents were told some lie he didn’t know the specifics of, and Alice had probably gotten that same information from his parents. Regardless, he had been gone for almost a week now, and he had left without any notice. It seemed likely they were all quite worried about him at this point. However, he needed some new clothes, and so his decision was made for him. He had to go to his house first. Exiting the building quickly, he began his trek to the other side of the city and his home.

As he approached his house he checked his phone briefly, almost a hundred messages from his parents and Alice appeared, and a dozen missed calls. Some of them were more recent, especially a few messages from Alice. That, however, was a matter to take care of after he figured out what lie he could tell his parents. Fortunately, none was needed. His parents had not yet returned home by the time he got there.

He pulled out his keys from his inventory with a thought and entered his home. The place he had not been in now for almost a full week. John was sure that was the longest time he had ever been away from any familiar environment, but with the chaos and action that constantly surrounded him, he had only noticed that fact now. Standing in his home’s open main room, he did a couple of things. First, he ran up to his room, finding it just as he left it, and quickly threw on some clothes. Having done that, he took his school uniform out of his inventory. The tattered and dirty simple shirt and pants he had been in since the day he woke up chained to a table were thrown into one of the corners of the room, to be dealt with later.

That was when the memory of the places he had been to and of all that had transpired hit him once again. He now truly began to realize all that had happened, and what he had done. The hardship and struggle of the last week caught up to him, and he found himself utterly devoid of strength. His heart beating both quickly and slowly at the same time. Slowly as if rapidly attempting to **** him into unconsciousness, and quickly as if he was reliving the very moment that wolf jumped on him. That was when he understood something. He had killed a living being, an animal. As if to mock him, a popup appeared almost immediately.

Evolved Wild Wolf killed: 50 XP gained

There was no way back now. Even if he hadn’t killed a person yet, he found it increasingly likely that he would one day be **** to. That thought made him sick, more than he had ever been before. His mind was fighting his heart in an attempt to settle it, but that was to no avail. So his feelings won out, and the strength in his legs began to fail. Nothing could be done about the last few days, but they all stung at him now, chipped away at his mind. He had **** himself to remain stoic in the face of ever increasing danger and demands, but he didn’t need that now, and so he broke apart.

He didn't know how long had passed, but the next thing he knew he was sat on the floor sobbing. About what, he didn’t know, he wasn't even sure he wanted to know. Perhaps it had long since passed crying about what had happened, or maybe it was still there. Regardless, a pit in his heart had formed, one that he would not soon lose. He was a changed person, for his actions and inactions, but he had done the best he could, and he would continue to do so. In that realization, and with the determination to continue his life no matter what happened moving forwards, he found the ability to rise up. Stiffly, he tried to straighten his legs, he almost could not feel them anymore, but slowly, that feeling came back. With his eyes still wet, he stood up slowly, his legs still shaking, and began to contemplate his other problems. It was now dark outside, but his parents were still not home.

’Alice,’ he thought that single word on its lonesome for the second time that week. Recalling the events of that night, he knew what he had done was the right thing, just by instinct. A voice in the back of his mind told him otherwise, however. That him and Alice had not discussed their relationship, they had not even kissed more than a handful of times. His lust and good sense were fighting one another, just as they did back then. His sense won out in the end, and he decided to go to Alice. To apologize for being gone for so long, to ask her what she wanted out of their relationship, and what she felt about it. To have that talk he so desperately wanted to avoid, as to not make the pain real again if something ever happened.

He walked out of the house quickly after, the door locked behind him. He would talk to his parents when he returned. For now, however, he had a singular purpose. Slowly, he headed down the various streets towards his destination. To the house of the one person he wanted to visit most and at the same time was most afraid to visit.

The house began growing larger as John got closer. It was very similar to John’s own, being made of two floors and generally looking like a standard suburban house. Above the garage stood the center of John’s attention, Alice’s window. A light could be seen showing through it. She was obviously home. Wanting to talk to her, he pulled out his phone and called her as soon as he composed himself enough to press her name on his lhone.. The sound of the call rang out for a second before only her breath could be heard on the other side. Not knowing what to say at first, John waited. Seemingly, so did she, as silence continued to prevail.

“I’m sorry,” were the first words to come out of John’s mouth. Regardless of what Alice had thought happened, that was true.

“What exactly are you sorry for?” she began, anger obvious in her shaking voice. “You disappeared for days, didn’t even call, or tell me what was going on. And when I asked around in some naive attempt to find you, I find out you were going around with someone else?!”

`This can’t be happening, no, what am I supposed to do now? Why now…’ With those simple words from Alice his world came crashing down again.

’No, no, no... I can’t lose her again… These past years have already been too much, I can’t let what happened with Ember ruin this, I can’t… I have to fix this, somehow!’ His mind raced in attempt to fix the situation, and meanwhile, she continued.

“So you have nothing to say for yourself?” she said, her voice growing increasingly hoarse, as if she was crying. “After all that time, you told me you wanted to try again. I wanted to believe you. But here we are, and now I know you’ve changed. I can’t trust you anymore, John. You used to tell me everything. We told each other everything. And now you went behind my back. I don’t care where you were, or what excuse you can come up with for going around with that purple haired bitch. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore-” Silence rung out again. She had hung up, and he was so utterly lost.

Maybe there was nothing to be done. There probably wasn’t, but it didn’t matter. Again and again he attempted to call her, the sound rang out before being quashed again seconds later every time. He put his phone back in his pocket, she wouldn’t answer. The young man focused on his breathing, attempting to calm himself down. He moved forwards, towards the house and the window. It was open. Maybe, if he could just talk to her, it would change something, anything…

’If I tell her about the Abyss, will she believe me?’ he thought as his feet took him slowly to the house. His pace was as sluggish as his mind felt. It was thinking of a hundred different options at once, but they all seemed like dead ends. *’There’s no way she would.” He dismissed that idea as well. There was nothing to be done, he knew that now. Regardless, under the window, he began. Hoping his voice would carry.

"Alice, I would never do that. There are things I can't tell you, that's true, but it's because you wouldn't believe me." He paused for a second, there was only silence as a response. He could almost picture her saying "Trust me", as she always used to. "And if you did, you would never be safe again. I'd rather lose everything we've worked on than lose you forever, you have to know that." It all seemed so pointless, but he kept talking. "I haven't changed, I still love you." He finally said it, if not for that situation, a stone would have been lifted from his heart, but right then it only made his pain worse.

Finally, another sound was heard, her window was shut with a single movement. The loud noise left John with nothing. He had once again failed.

He awoke the next day to find himself once again in the same place he started. He had gained something, a new opportunity in life, and he had lost something, the only real chance he ever had at a normal life. The girl he loved was once again lost to him, and the pain was still as fresh as it could be. Everytime he thought about it hit him anew like being dunked repeatedly in a bath of ice.

'At least I still found something.' He had, the knowledge of the Abyss, as terrifying as it was, had given him purpose, and he now had all the reasons he needed to take Ingrid up on her offer. There had long been only the slightest connection tying him to the normal world. His parents, and some vain hope of a relationship with Alice or a normal life. Two out of the three had now been severed. Cut down savagely by the facts of the Abyss and his own failures. The third was something he would have to shed eventually, and only to the same degree. He could still visit them occasionally, but he knew now that his purpose would be found beyond those arches.

With that new understanding, he settled down. He would not soon forget what had happened, but there was a greater purpose to pursue. Something to distract him, just as video games had done for years. He had a week, and seemingly nothing to do in it but mourn his own failures. Luckily, he was given his answer a moment later.

Ingress level task completed: Ingress levelled up

There was only one thing added to the skill. It allowed him to create what Ingrid told him about, barriers. A strange connection to be sure, but then he thought about it for a moment.

`To Ingress, huh? In other words, this ability allows me to enter something. I suppose that now extends to both the Planes and barriers… I wonder if they have something in common.’

John was eager to see what he would find in them, but another popup distracted him before he could create one in order to find out.

An achievement for joining a guild made sense, and more charisma points were always helpful, but the most interesting part was the new system apparently unlocked.

’A party system? I wonder what that might exactly entail.’ John believed he would find out soon enough. After all, he was supposed to be a leader now. On that note, another popup appeared.

Orianna’s high RP score now brought John’s mind back to the topic of Alice. A whispering thought told him that even if anything happened it would just end the same way, and a second scolded him for even thinking of something like that. Regardless, that train of thought hit like a punch in the gut, and he was once again lost in thinking about it.

His parents had returned late the previous night, and they greeted him quickly with hugs and kisses.

“We were worried about you? What were you doing at that academy?” Brenda asked as soon as they saw him.

“Umm… Yeah, I got accepted into it suddenly. They brought me there to do some tests,” it was a weak lie, but the only one he could come up with on the spot.

“And you were too busy to call us or visit from Lake State College? It’s close by!” she seemed to be somewhat angry at John.

“I was working my butt off, sorry…” that seemed to convince them, but as parents usually are, they were worried about it. Though they were also happy to see him back. They asked what had happened that would cause Alice to once again take interest in his situation after so long. He told them it was because of a school project they were paired on. The pain of what had happened was still too fresh to explain the truth, and his mother would have freaked out if she knew he had dated his childhood friend, even if it was only for a short time.

Once they arrived back at the topic of the college, they told him they knew he would be returning there for “pre-semester course work”, in other words, the cover for his training. That solved any issue he might have had in explaining the situation, but it would be a bit tougher to do so for the school. His parents, however, suggested that he drop out once he officially started his first semester. After all, the only reason he went to Ashcroft was to get this exact kind of opportunity. He hesitantly agreed, that would be the last thing forcing him to remain around.