Seriously, you're staying.

Only a jerk would bail on his friends' housewarming after it got sneak-attacked by a bunch of drunk gay sluts. You wave off both Chris&Jeff, “No. I'm good. Really. Let me help. I've got a date tomorrow, so I don't need to go get more wasted and sleep in a gutter, anyways.” You smile reassuringly.

There's some sudden commotion from the bar area, and you all turn quickly to see the blonde reporter restraining Luke from pouring himself another drink. “Luke, let's go,” she pleads, obviously annoyed.

Chris heads over to his brother, “He's way too drunk to be going anywhere. He can barely stand up. Let's not do this, again.”

“He's fine. I'll fill him up with water and crackers, then I'll drop him off at brunch. Why is this even a thing? He's an adult.” the blond quips back at Chris.

Jeff reluctantly tries to intervene with his coworker, “Erin, c'mon. Just relax. You're invited to brunch. Swing by in the morning, and Luke'll be in better shape if you two still want to hang out.”