Self Discovery

“Who am I?” There was no easy or careful way to ask that question. Lore stared back at you briefly, then just went back to filing tomes.

“By our perception, Well... Guess you're just Eve. Dunno if that's right, but that's how we're gonna see it. Who do you think you are?”

You had to think on that. You had less memories of Eve from this world than you did of being Eve in the world you believed you came from, but even as you searched those you felt a strange disconnect. The mere suggestion that some memories could be false or planted scrutinized your whole history. Was your past on another planet a trick to obscure your true identity?

“I don't know... How do I know? I've got conflicting thoughts and I don't know what's real.”

Lore fixed the order of a few tomes, but it was clear that she was thinking, so you waited patiently beside her. She finally made a humming sound to herself before speaking.

“Y'know, none of us can really confirm our own reality.”

“What?”

“We all do it everyday. We see things our own ways and have ways of thinkin' about them, but then all that is put into the context of the greater understandin' that we all have. Technically speakin' and all that, if you and me are thinkin' maybe only one of us is? I see you the way I see you and you see me. All our minds are, like, an island and we can see the other islands through the telescope but who knows if anyone is lookin' back, right?”

“That's a bit-”

Lore smiles. “But, if you get past all that stuff and the idea that all of everythin' we experience is subjective, you can look out. We all seem to share things we can agree on and relate to; we're all on our own islands and they all seem pretty much the same. So even if it feels like nothin' is objective, havin' a little faith in the experience of others can create a bit of a 'defacto objective experience.' You follow?”

“No...”

“Oh.” Lore blinks and bites her lip a little.

“Okay, well, in simpler terms, Eve, trust us. We know who you are and we'll help you out, girl. Point of all that was, you're not alone.”

You couldn't help but smile. “That's so nice.” You found yourself standing next to her awkwardly.

“Lore. Is it a nickname?”

“Yup. It's a nickname. My real name is L'Oran, but the Great Master called me Loren... And then that got shortened even further and now my name's Lore to everyone.” She exhaled deeply in a subtle frustration, but gradually fought back a smile.

“Defacto Objective Experience, no?” She joked.

You chuckled, and seriously added. “I'll call you L'Oran.” Her Elven ears perked as you said that.

“See?”

“Hm? What?”

“You always did. Didn't have to ask both times, you just did. Maybe there is a consistent 'you' after all, Eve.”

“Maybe.” You remarked.

“Was there anyone here that knew me better than anyone?”

“Other than the Great Master? Maybe Lyla.” Immediately you remembered her how emotional Lyla became, and how easy it was to get her to concede to your demands.

“We all know you a bit.”

-

You found Lyla in the yard meditating. Her body was curled into the lotus position, something even you knew about. You sat down beside her in an alright imitation. For a few minutes you both sat like that in silence, then she asked.

“What are you doing?”

“Meditating?”

“You're meditating like a mortal and your mind isn't even clear, Eve...” Lyla scolded. She uncrossed her legs and moved attentively to your side.

“What were you doing then?”

Lyla frowned in disappointment. “You couldn't see...” She realized.

“No.”

Lyla slid closer and moved behind you. She rested two hands on your back. “Circulating Aura and Soma together.” You felt a sudden rush of energy through your body, like electricity but more warm and pleasant than shocking. At the same time your muscles both relaxed while also feeling more firm and powerful.

“W-what's happening?” You asked.

“Helping you remember what it feels like. Your body seems to remember some things. Maybe you can act on instinct, but that can only take you so far. I'm sending my Aura through you, and at the same time urging your Soma to awaken. This should feel nice. It shouldn't hurt.”

“It doesn't...” You breathed easily. It felt like a full body massage.

“I'm going to stop now. Keep it going on your own.”

“I don't know if I can.” You warned her as she took her hands off of you. You felt the same feeling for a few moments, but then it all began to fade.

“You may need to re-train... You're so strong. You still have such high aptitude in both.” Lyla sounded almost mournful.

“Both of what? What are those?”

She placed two hands on your back again. “Aura is the root of magic. Some call it life-**** but that's not right. It's a **** that exists separate from us, but also around us. All have it when they are born to some degree even if it's imperceptible and it leaves us when we pass.”

“So... What about the other one?”

“Soma is 'you.' But not just your body. It is everything that encompasses the space that you physically occupy in this world. When you control Soma, you control all of that and more. We... Have not aged in centuries. That is because we have mastered Soma. An old woman that masters it may return to their most favorable, youthful form and save themselves from **** and harm.”

“I have THAT?”

Lyla laughs. “Both. That's what cultivation is. Balance of Physical and Spiritual progression. You and I? We have quite a bit of both. The Great Master? She has mastered both to the extent that she can challenge Gods.” As she continued to speak and explain, her hands rolled around your back, then over your shoulders to massage gently. You relaxed and accepted it at first, then those hands slid around to your chest and stomach and her body began to lean on you. Her lips touched your neck and that was the moment you recoiled slightly. Not because it was bad, but only because it was not something you were expecting.

“What was that?” You asked delicately.

Lyla took her hands off you and slid back shamefully. She covered her mouth and began to **** up. “I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry...” She stood up and rushed back into the Temple, leaving you sitting there confused. Within the yard you saw the 'luck' statue staring at you with wide, gray cats eyes. You brushed yourself off and began walking towards her.

“Mio?”

“That's me. Me-how are you doing, Evie?” The Cat's tail swished back and forth behind her. Her body was frozen, but you could tell that it was mostly by choice. Her hands were up in paw position and her legs were very shallowly bent at the knees.

“I... Don't know what that was.”

“You have a guess?”

“My guess would be that myself and Lyla had a 'thing' in the past. I mean... Before I disappeared and lost my memory.”

“Good guess!” Mio complimented.

“It's also true.”

“I feel bad for turning her down now...” You groaned, rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly. You stared at the Temple entrance and considered following her.

“You shouldn't.” She commented. You stared at her curiously.

“Lyla feels bad because you are not the person she was with back then. Not yet. But your body is familiar and close and so irresistibly cute. She couldn't resist, but she should have.”

You blushed under the back-handed compliment. “I don't really mind...”

“You should!”

“Why?”

“You're basically a new person. You don't got a relationship with her. Not one you agreed to anyway. She knows that. She came on to you and just started rubbing on you like a Me in heat. I'd feel embarrassed.”

You shook your head. “You said that before... I'm a 'new person?' You seem really quick to let go of the old Eve. Did we know each other?”

“Eve and I did. I knew her pretty well and we worked good together. You? I do not know you.”

“W-what do you mean?” You were worried that you had been caught.

“You don't got the things that built Eve into Eve. We're all just the experiences we built up over time. You don't got those so we're wasting our time. Instead I'll introduce myself to 'Evie' and make a new friend. Who know if Eve is ever coming back, you know?”

“I-I don't know! What about the things everyone else remembers about me making me who I am?”

“Heh. Sounds like you've been talking to Lore. That doesn't work, does it?” The Cat shrugged.

“Because you don't know who you are, right?”

You cringed. “Right...”

“Eventually, if you believe in that you're just going to let everyone around you define who you are. What you should be doing is figuring out yourself who you are and who you want to be. Screw what everyone else thinks.” She lowers her tone to a whisper and leans forward.

“Especially the Great Master.”

“I... Can see why you're being punished...”

“Right?” She cocked her head to one side jovially.

“But it's not because of that. I uh... Accidentally destroyed a nation.”

“What!?”

“It was a SMALL nation!”

Other questions began to form in your mind. “H-how is that ONLY one-hundred days?”

“Because they had it coming.” She winked.

“So you haven't learned anything from being punished...”

“I wont do it again. Relax. My idea is, the next time the same thing happens again I'll close my eyes and count to ten out loud.”

“To calm yourself down?”

“To give the court a head start.”

You took a cautious step back. “O-oh my god.”

“That's funny. They said the same thing the same way.”

“I-I have to go!” You began to run towards the Temple entrance. As you looked back, she was still just standing there like a statue near the entry arch. As you were turned you ran head first into Virise. The green-haired girl did not move, but you bounced back.

“Eve? What's wrong?” She was holding a bowl of milk. As you stared at it she looked down as well and smiled.

“I was just coming out to feed the 'statue' for good luck.”

“Did she really destroy a nation?” You asked, feeling like you were going crazy.

“A small one. She deserves her punishment for the way she handled it, but... Admittedly they did have it coming.” Virise relented.

“What did they do!?”

“Never mind. Are you alright? You look pale.”

You brushed past Virise and made your way into the Temple. A few things were on your mind. The Catgirl serving 100 days for war crimes was one. Lyla and her reaction to you was a big one. To a smaller degree you wondered where the milk came from that Virise was hold, because it looked quite good for some reason.

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