Science Ch 4

“Not actually great,” you say as she approaches.

Using your hands to hide your crotch like in a movie will only draw attention, so you don’t do that. She notices anyway.

“Jeez, Flynn!”

“I’m sorry. This is not on purpose.” You wave a hand at her. “I’m sorry.”

“OK. Are you OK? Oh my god, is it true? What Meri’s saying?”

You shake your head; clear thought is getting harder. You stare at the far wall. Meri is Delilah’s sister. Delilah is Rey’s girlfriend. Rey is fucking talking. Unbelievable.

“What is Meri saying?”

“I don’t know. That the old CCL House has a horny sex demon living in it or something.” While Chica is clearly interested in your predicament, she isn’t blushing. Her tone seems almost clinical. “Flynn, why do you have a huge boner back here? Were you trying to do a quickie with Piper?”

“No.”

“Because this is not the right place for that.”

“I know.”

“And she likes Graham, not you.”

“I know that too,” you grunt.

“Well, no. She doesn’t like him. But they just make a better couple.”

“Getting a little hurtful,” you say.

“It doesn’t matter. She can’t let Ines go. Anyway, you look like you’re in pain.”

“I am.”

“Flynn, listen to me carefully,” Chica says, her voice turning stern. “If you took sketchy Chinese boner pills, you need to tell me, and we need to take you to the ER.”

“I didn’t.”

“Then what is going on here?”

Piper returns, water in hand. “Oh, hey.”

“Piper, what’s he doing?”

“Boner pills, I assume.”

You shake your head. It is so important that these two women never find out about the thoughts that you’re having. This isn’t you.

They’re both in front of you, staring openly at the bulge.

“Is this his pickup scam? Wave that thing around?” Chica asks Piper.

“I don’t think so. His pickup scam is that he’s nice and pretty.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. This is new.”

“I think he needs a doctor,” Chica says.

“That’s when the boner lasts a long time. He wasn’t like this a minute ago.”

“Can you give me a minute?” you grind out.

“Um, no. That’s a bad idea,” Piper informs you frankly. “I mean, if someone finds out. What sounds better? Flynn Stackwell jerks off at the pantry? Or Flynn Stackwell gets a handjob at the pantry?”

Chica is startled. “You’re gonna give him a handjob?”

“It’s called being considerate.”

“Sounds like you want to touch his wiener.”

“Are you gonna act like you don’t want to touch it? Look at that thing. Under these circumstances? Right here, right now?” Piper points directly at your sausage imprint.

Chica’s mouth becomes a line. Her eyes linger on your groin. “It is kinda big, isn’t it?”

You appreciate Piper’s insightfulness, but she doesn’t seem to realize that you are on the verge of turning into a werewolf and doing things normally reserved for the kinds of romantasy where women really get off on the threat of sexual violence. That’s cool in fiction, but this is real life. A drop of sweat falls from your nose. You’re breathing hard.

“Flynn? Flynn, what are you thinking about?” Piper asks.

“Consent,” you reply.

“Oh. OK—I don’t know what that means exactly, but we’d like to help you out. We are helpful.” Piper nudges Chica. “So helpful. So eager to be of service. There’s just one thing.”

“Yeah?” you grunt.

“You know how it is,” Piper says, twirling her hair around her finger. “It’s a nonprofit and stuff. It’s not exactly top of the line here. The front door.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah,” Chica says, lighting up. “Yeah, it gets stuck. All the time. It’s so annoying.”

“I’ll fix it,” you mutter.

“And that shelf over there.” Piper points; a shelf has wooden blocks under one side to keep it level. “That’s in bad shape.”

You wince. There’s a dark, coin-sized stain in your jeans. It’s precum. “I’ll fix it.”

“And you know those lights that are big tubes that we don’t like to touch,” Chica begins.

“OK.”

“And the gutters,” Piper says.

“OK!” Your voice cracks.

They exchange a look. Piper counts on her fingers. “Door, shelf, lights, gutters.”

Chica gives her two thumbs up. “Yeah. No! Wait! Flynn, there’s these pallets of water, they’re super heavy,”

“I got it!”

Piper and Chica high-five.

[ There's a little update that touches on all the ongoing stories right now if you care about that extraneous stuff and/or have an opinion about this year's Halloween Special: https://www.patreon.com/CCLViking/posts/update-8-24-2026-167556074 ]