Random rudeness, repeated

“EXCUSE ME, why is your posterior OCCUPYING MY seat?”

Getting an odd sense of Déjà vu, you wonder if your horoscope mentions something about you being prone to getting yelling at today. You are taken aback with surprise as you catch some vaguely familiar clothing, and see the owner.

“Uhhh it’s YOU, that ignoramus from earlier!!!"

"Oh, I'm so flattered," you say sarcastically.

"I don't know who you are, but what are you even doing attending this class. I have never observed your presence here the full first half of the semester.. I should know, I had a perfect memory since preschool…and..”

blah blah blah

On and on, beret girl, the same who you crashed into earlier this morning, droned, making a scene. Students were casually passing by the door peaking in to see the commotion, but all you could think of is the luck that fate has dropped in your lap right now.

“Listen, calm down, besides you could have any seat in the class, in fact, there is an empty seat right next to me."

“By you? BY YOU? Why I never you uncouth…”

Anger starts to build deep inside of you, and very abruptly you say “Please just SHUT UP! WHAT'S WITH YOU??

You yell, louder than you meant to, surprising yourself, and making beret girl immediately close her mouth. You don’t know why, but you always had a low tolerance for loud, obnoxious know-it-all women, specifically, you recall, one of your cousin’s Erica’s friends called Janis, who gave you a pretty rough time in high school. Reminiscing on the past, you wonder if Erica still keeps in contact with Janis, so you could "catch-up" on old times, but for now you focus on what is happening at hand.

“So what your name, and why are you such a huge pompous dick?Just calm down and relax,” you tell her, seeing she was about to go into another outburst. Her face was heating fire red.

“Minerva is my birth name, and I was named after the Roman goddess of wisdom.”

You notice, the beret girl, or Minerva displays a smirk on her mouth, and has her chin held high like she always starts out with this introduction whenever she meets someone new.

“My parents are cutting my funding because I got a B in my advance French class, tarnishing my otherwise flawless 4.5 GPA record. The only reason I couldn’t excel that class is because I can’t stand listening to that intolerable, wetback of a professor that can’t even pronounce his r’s from his k’s correctly. I mean this is what happens when you let a democrat run the country; you get low tier professors from Mexico teaching French, and crossing the border with no education. I heard you just needed to attend classes for 30 days in Mexico, and they just hand out degrees like they are tacos! Can you believe it?”

“Tragic…” you say with a frown on your face.

“I mean my parents was only distributing me 10k a week, they don’t know how hard it is to get people to ship quality designer clothes from Europe without sufficient enough funds. I know they are just trying to save money, firing our gardeners, and replacing them with those green cards back at the estate…”

“Alright please close your mouth again, and don’t question it,” you quickly say again. Minerva does it with a frown, not liking being interrupted, but surprisingly still patiently waits your further instruction.

Wow.

She’s rich, apparently republican, and racist; three r’s that seldom go well together.

You sit there in unbelief, shaking up your remaining M&M’s, thinking of how you want to put this brat in her place, when you accidently tip the bag too far, letting some spill out. You reach over to pick up the visible ones, when suddenly a light shines in your head, and a devious plan comes to mind. Thinking back to earlier, it seems that people will believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff if you give a reason for it. You wonder if there is a limit, and you decide to get as stupid with it as you can right now.

“Okay ill get up. Here you could have your seat back, and you are free to speak.”

“Hpmh, don't tell me when to speak. I don’t know why I was spending so much time conversing nonsense with some miscreant anyway,” quickly shooing you away, and sitting her posterior in the chair, but not before wiping it with some sanitation wipes she pulls from her backpack.

“Whoops!” you say out loud, as you empty your remaining bag of M&M’s on Minerva; the candies rolling every which way.

“WHA.., WHY You,” she quickly exclaims.

“Minerva why did you cause me to drop my M&M’s?” you say, testing your words out.

“Are YOU DAFT, you just threw them my direction!” she quickly snaps.

Hmm. It seems that depending on how strong willed the person is, people could either flat out believe what you say immediately, or in Minerva case, proceed to business as usual like you didn't have the power, if the scenario was too obvious. But you are sure with some adjusting, anyone can be guided to be under your control just fine. Her designer backpack she is wearing catches your eye, and you proceed to get the ball started.

“Wait before you get all bent out of shape, it appears I slipped on you backpack, a had a accident. Therefore indirectly it’s your fault and you must pick up the rest of my M&Ms to apologize to me.”

“BUT I WEARING MY BACKPACK YOU STUPID BUFFON!!! That's it, I'm calling campus security, for harassment on you. I have their number on speed dial.”

Wrong answer.

You release your final trump card as you prepare your next words carefully. “Put away your phone. So are you calling me a liar? Because I never told a lie in my life.”

Confused, it looks like Minerva was having a internal conflict between the absurd logic of tripping on a backpack she is wearing, vs your universal acceptance telling her you can’t lie, as absurd as it sounds. The winner was obvious as her face started to relax, and look at you more calmly.

“Yo… You're correct I apologize profusely. I can see that you are a honest person, and I must have been mistaken somehow. I'll see if I can find where they dropped although I can't see why you want them now, since they have been on the dirty floor."

She bends down and starts looking for the remaining M&M's on the ground, giving you a picture perfect display of her fine rear, making your pants tighter per second. Smiling, as you have her where you want her, you plan out the next step for this situation. But then again, more attractive students seem to be coming into class at a steady pace, and it seems as if the teacher could be here any minute. Is Minerva really worth your time, as there are many, many more fish in the sea you could catch with ease. Whatever you choose, you know it’s impossible to go wrong.