Quinn Foley, Knight of the Floatation Device

When Jenny first declared that she had a 'plan' to improve the football team's offensive line, you had a decent enough guess about what it would entail. When she mentioned it was going to be a 'ritual', you considered the matter all but confirmed: She was going to bus the seven burly young men to the barn for a night of absurd Woo Girls sex, a night that would leave them as superhuman athletes despite their inability to precisely remember what had happened. Maybe there would be some variation on that theme, but you were certain you'd had the general idea.

Which is all to say that you're truly baffled to find yourself in the football field just after sunset, the full set of big beefy boys kneeling in the turf in total silence as Rhys solemnly dubs them one by one. The fact that he's doing it with a pool noodle doesn't make it any easier on you. Jenny can't seem to decide if she's more proud to see her plan in action or amused by the bizarre scene, but Quinn has the decency to commit hard to a look of embarrassment as the seven linemen murmur oaths to her one by one. Once Rhys has finished with the last of them, he steps forward, passes the pool noodle to the center, and speaks in a loud, clear voice. "Yr wyf i, yn tyngu y byddaf yn ffyddlon ac yn wir deyrngar Quinn, ei hetifeddion a’i holynwyr, yn unol â’r gyfraith. Cynorthwyed Taco Bell fi!"

The seven linemen stand as one, open their mouths in perfect unison, and confidently babble out strings of gibberish that, to your ear, don't even come close. You whisper to Jenny. "Do they have to do that again?"

Jenny wags her hand dismissively. "They got the jist of it."

"They really didn't."

The hulking young men certainly seem undaunted, however, as the center ceremoniously steps forward and extends the pool noodle towards Quinn. She gingerly takes it, awkwardly holding it by her side as her linebackers wait for some word from their leader. At length, Quinn does the best she can. "Um. Go Bulls?"

Oh shit, that did the trick. The linemen immediately throw their arms up into the air, cheering and whooping triumphantly, each one requiring bare-minimum of three high-fives from Quinn before trundling off on their merry way. The quarterback can only shake her head in disbelief as she watches them go, calling back to Jenny. "So you're sure that...whatever this was will help?"

The cheerleader nods confidently, leaning over to bop into Rhys with her shoulder. "Definitely. Rhys just knighted them in your service. It's not magical, exactly, but it's also not not magical. The important thing is, they're dedicated to protecting you now. And seeing as that's supposed to be their whole damn job, that should make things easier on you."

You'd been wondering about this, actually. "How did you get them all to agree to this?"

Jenny cocks an eyebrow at you. "I asked them if they wanted to do a sweet knighting ceremony, and they said yes. This is, like, way less bizarre than some of the team-building exercises I've seen before. It wasn't a tough sell."

"Huh." Quinn considers that, propping the pool noodle on her shoulder, and you can't help thinking that she cuts a particularly striking figure. Sure, most traditional knights didn't wear unzipped hoodies over workout crop tops, and typically weren't armed with swimming toys, but once you get past all of that? Quinn looks pretty fucking awesome. She doesn't seem to mind it herself, unable to keep a somewhat baffled smile from her lips. "Well, uh. Cool then. Thanks, Jenny."

Jenny has never been one for false humility. Still, she reaches out to touch Rhys's arm in a show of sharing the credit. "You should thank Rhys, really. Donna, too."

The prince shakes his head, grinning back at Jenny. "It was our pleasure! Quinn is great; we were super happy to make her a noble."

Quinn nods along with all of that. "Well thanks, Rhys, that really..." She trails off as she considers what the elf actually said. "...wait, noble?"

"Oh, yeah! Only real-deal nobility can have knights, after all." The prince gives Quinn a big thumbs up. "It's no problem though; we can basically make anyone a noble we want."

The quarterback sputters. "I, really?! Is that okay?"

"Oh, sure! You're smart and brave, after all; that alone would be more than enough to qualify you."

Quinn relaxes a touch, clearly still nervous but increasingly flattered. "Oh. Um, do I have duties or anything? Like, in Elf...World? Elf Land? Where exactly am I a noble of, again?"

Rhys shrugs. "Elf Land is fine. I mean, specifically you're the Lord of the Opalescent Lake? But it's a do-nothing job; the Opalescent Lake totally runs itself. It's mostly a gift shop."

"Oh. Cool."

A look crosses Rhys's face, the prince's typically genial demeanor turning quite serious. "Actually, there is one thing. A duty you'll need to perform for the Crown."

Quinn straightens up, eyes wide as she tightly grips her ceremonial pool noodle. "What is it?"

"Do you play Pokemon?"

"Not really?"

"Okay. Get Pokemon, and start playing it. Get the Blue version. I need you to trade me a Vulpix."

Quinn shifts her eyes towards Jenny, who responds with the gravest nod she can manage. Woof, these two. You decide that this is your queue to step in. "Is that everything then, Rhys?"

The elf shakes his head. "No, she still needs to come see Donna before it's all official."

Hm. Donna's finishing up her recuperation at the barn right now, but that might actually. You glance over at Quinn, the girl shuffling around as she tries to decide what she's going to do with the pool noodle that she's been bestowed. "Do you want to come do that now, actually? And if you wanted, you could stick around for this little party we're having. One of our friends just had a bad break up, and she really needs to be around supportive people right now."

Quinn tilts her head at that. "Oh, okay. Which friend? Do I know her?"

"You might have met her last night, actually. Buzz? The girl with the sleeve tattoos?"

This development does not sit well with Quinn. "What! No! She's such a sweetheart, though! She came by the car and asked if I needed a hug!"

Jenny nods in fierce agreement. "She's the fucking best and we all just want to make sure she knows it. So we're going to get a bunch of pizzas and blast some cheesy music and probably watch a Twilight movie. She loves those damn things."

Quinn nods resolutely. "Well I still want to go. Count me in."

You waggle your phone at the quarterback, eyebrows raised. "Want me to invite Colin?"

"....Yes, please."

Okay, great. You've still got twelve hours left of the agreed-upon truce. And you are absolutely going to see that everyone makes the most of it.