Q-Tip Duel

Bug looked between their friends, “I don’t even know what the duel is.”

Lenny reassured them, “It will be fine, we’ll make it through.” The others nodded in agreement.

“Can I roll for it?” Bug asked, reaching for the game die, but then second thinking it and grabbing an extra die from their bag instead. A sparkling yellow set of metallic dice they use for D&D. They picked up the d12, “Mod 3, you’ll be 0, 1, and 2,” they said pointing at each of their friends around the table.

Ben chuckled, jokingly coughing, “Nerd.” Everyone laughed alongside him. Bug shook the die in their hand before letting it tumble across the table. 10.

“10mod3, that’s 1,” they said, then counted 0 for Lenny, and Ben as 1.

“Oh come on,” Ben groaned, “can’t I have break.” He rubbed his crotch still obviously uncomfortable.

“Maybe you’ll win and get a treasure,” Fayez offered as a consolation.

“Maybe,” Ben shrugged.

The lights in the shop flickered, going out for a second. When they turned back on, everything had changed. What felt like a million spotlights lit up a huge open arena. The stands were empty except for Lenny and Fayez. They looked around and both gasped before letting out a squeal, “AMERICAN GLADIATOR!”

In the middle of the arena, Ben and Bug stood on raised platforms holding staffs with bulbous padded ends, like giant q-tips. The two competitors were too young to truly know American Gladiator but had seen clips and a couple episodes when the older members of the group made them watch.

“This is so cool!” Fayez said with a sparkle in his eye.

“Bet you wish it wasn’t me playing now,” Ben teased pointing his q-tip at Fayez.

Bug squirmed on their pedestal looking down at the padded ground below. The spotlights and being the center of attention working against their normal desire to be invisible. They were just glad that the game hadn’t put them in the tight leotards from the show.

The lights moved around the stadium before focusing on the two combatants. An air horn blew as the spotlight settled on Ben and Bug. They stared at each other for a second before, Lenny called out, “I think that means ‘go.’”

Fayez did a Mortal Kombat impression, “Fight!”

Ben crouched into battle position, “Ready?”

Bug nodded raising their q-tip into place. Ben struck, Bug blocking it. The two exchanged a few exploratory blows, blocking with their own.

Ben swung hitting Bug in the legs. They stumbled slightly catching themselves before falling off.

Ben froze looking at Bug, the men in the stands gasped. Bug looked down to see that their sweatpants had disappeared when Ben hit them with his q-tip.

Their baggy hoodie hung down low enough to cover their underwear. The very end of their boxer briefs poking out from under depending on how they stood or moved.

Bug let go of the q-tip with one hand, trying to pull down on the hoodie. The thought crossed Ben’s mind, he could easily lash out and knock them from the platform, and win the duel. But as he was considering it, he saw his friend standing there in distress and instead gently reached out his tip tapping theirs.

Bug looked up and wiped at their eyes with their sleeve. “Sorry. I’m ready,” they said getting back into position.

“Ready?” Ben nodded waiting for Bug to nod, “Go.”

It was slow at first, but as Bug came out of their funk they realized that another hit could result in more disappearing clothes. They struck harder, trying to push Ben off.

Ben hit back harder now that his friend had recovered from the shock of losing their pants.

Fayez and Lenny cheered from the sidelines. They were used to watching two athletes battle it out, instead of their two young, scrappy, and weak friends swinging wildly.

Bug swept their weapon past his defenses, pummeling him in the knee. Ben stumbled sideways but kept himself upright, his pants having disappeared with the blow. Leaving him in his One Piece t-shirt and boxers covered in hentai ahegao faces.

Unlike before, Bug didn’t give Ben the grace period to regather himself. Instead they brought the end of their q-tip down on their back. His shirt dematerialized as he lost the last of his balance and fell from the platform.

Ben sighed from the ground in nothing but his boxers and shoes. He should’ve knocked them off when he had the chance, but his smile returned when he saw Bug looking down. He pushed his glasses back into place. They winced and mouthed ‘Sorry.’ He knew they would have a hard time losing their clothes and while the game might still take them, at least he wasn’t the one to (knowingly) do it.

The spotlights moved around the arena again before turning off leaving them in blackness for a moment before the lights of Lenny’s gameshop turned back on. They were once again sitting around the table, Bug and Ben still missing their respective clothing items.

Bug’s card changed to know read, ‘Bug wins; draw a treasure card. Ben loses; draw a trap card.’ Bug passes the card to Ben, and reaches for their treasure card.

“The game knows our names? I shouldn’t be surprised but still, it’s a little creepy,” Ben said, shivering at the thought. He drew his trap card.

Bug read aloud, “Hair Control. You can now cause or prevent hair to grow where you want.” Bug scrunched up their face, “I don’t really shave, so it’s not really that great for me.”

“At least it’s not negative,” Fayez shrugged, discreetly nodding towards Ben’s unread card.

“I could definitely use that one,” Lenny teased running his hand over his balding head. They all laughed together.

Then Bug gasped, “Wait! Can I grow a beard?” They closed their eyes and focused on their chin. “Did it work?” they asked, gingerly reaching up to touch their chin.

They all shook their head, as Bug touched their still smooth chin. They looked a little deflated. “It says cause to grow, maybe it will just take time to grow in like all of ours?” Fayez offered. Bug nodded, rubbing their cheeks. He then turned to Ben, “What’s your card say?”

Ben sighed, then read, “Randy. Increased Sex Drive.” Ben dropped the card into the discard, “And I can’t even take care of it myself.” He adjusted himself, “Lenny, could I borrow some clothes?”

“Oh yea, yea, for sure, Bug you too?” They nodded. Lenny walked towards the door to the back. The others followed him to his little apartment in back. He went over to the dresser by his bed. “Um, let’s see,” he pulled out two gym shorts that had drawstrings, those two would need to pull them tight to keep them up. He grabbed a shirt for Ben, it would be even baggier than Bug’s hoodie on him but it wouldn’t leave him topless.

“Thanks,” Bug and Ben said in unison.

“Anytime,” Lenny said, “I think it’s my turn now.” The group of them returned to their seats.

“Okay, but how cool was that? We were in American Gladiator! Kid me would’ve killed for that,” Fayez pointed out.

“Oh yea, a blast,” Ben rolled his eyes, “No worries you can do the next challenge.” He adjusted himself, wincing a bit in pain from his continued blue balls. He desperately needed to relieve that.

Lenny grabbed the die and rolled.