There’s no place like home

John took in a deep breath through his nose, letting loose a nice relaxed sigh. He couldn’t quite explain it, but upon returning to Midgard, he felt a weight fall from his shoulders. Perhaps it was some form of mage based intuition that he had not been in his native realm for several days, and he was going back to a world he was used to. Or maybe it was the fact that this town was a place he felt safe in. Either way, it was good to be back.

Talia looked around them, her eyes wide as she had never seen anything other than Alfheim before. “It’s… not as natural as home,” she said, probably due to the fact that they were standing near where John first used his Aki rune to transport him to the land of the elves. That area just so happened to be behind one of the many garage/shed things that the sports teams used for storing various pieces of athletic equipment, along with some spare parts for the busses.

“Yeah, but humans don’t exactly have the ability to make their trees grow to a size that are usable to build within,” Mavis said with an eyeroll. “Or at least the boring ones don’t. But I gotta say, their metal working and building skills have come quite a way.” Mavis rasped one of her knuckles over the steel sided building, letting loose a series of clangs as she did so. “I mean, it’s one thing to see in John’s memories, but it’s another thing to see it in person.”

“Oh yeah, it’s been a hot minute or two since you were in Midgard,” John said, rolling his shoulders a bit. “When were you last here?”

Mavis mumbled to herself for a moment or two, her eyes looking up to the sky before saying, “I think it was… like… 1845? I think? I remember in the trip we took to America to buy some guns that Texas was still not a state, but was working on becoming one.”

“Wait, we? Who’s we?” Talia asked.

“Me and my previous wielder. And no, I won’t tell you,” Mavis said, giving Talia a dismissive wave. “I am allowed to keep my secrets.”

“You don’t let me keep any,” John said with a grumble.

“Not true. You can keep secrets as long as I don’t take the time out of my day to brush up on your memories.”

“And are you going to do so?”

“Well, if you’re gonna be so sour about it, no. Keep your little secrets,” Mavis said in mock insult. John just rolled his eyes before starting to walk forward.

“Alright, so the first step is going to see my mom. After that, I wanna meet up with Wentworth and Enkleman. Figure it’s time I get some answers about what exactly is going on around here,” John said to his two leading ladies.

“Are you going to be able to meet up with your teachers?” Talia asked, adjusting her hair so that the pointed ends of her ears were hidden. Thankfully none of them were in armor anymore, as John had gotten changed back into his school uniform, while Talia had changed into more casual clothing back in Alfheim. She had assured John that she still had her armor and weapons with her, stored safely away in her enchanted backpack that currently sat next to her. Mavis still looked like, well, Mavis so she would blend in perfectly. Just as long as she remained in human form and refrained from turning her arms into deadly blades.

John nodded, pulling out his phone and showing off that it was Thursday evening. “I’ll meet with my teachers tomorrow, then meet with the new guild on Saturday. But tonight will be spent talking to my mom, and then relaxing with you two.”

Mavis gave John a wink. “Oh, relaxing? Well, I can certainly think of a few ways we can… relax.” She then made a cylindrical shape with her hand before miming sucking a dick, using her tongue to push a bulge in her cheek. John blushed, turning away and walking forward.

“Yes, well… uh… yeah. We’ll cross that bulge-BRIDGE when we get there!” Mavis and Talia both snickered behind him, and just as John was about to try and say something to divert their attention from his Freudian slip, a sudden booming voice interrupted them.

“THERE HE FUCKING IS!”

Sadly, John recognized that voice very well. It was the voice of the neanderthal who had taken delight in tormenting John for years, the brain-dead jock whose only intellectual achievements were creating new punishments for John existing.

“Hey Frank.”

Just as John turned to respond to his bully, his vision was suddenly filled by the sight of a fist heading straight for his nose.

-20 hp!

‘Oh wonderful. He hits like a dump truck.’ Thankfully, John’s Gamer’s Body had absorbed most of the blow, causing no physical pain to John as he was pushed to the ground. Quickly he held his hand out, signalling his two girlfriends to not attack. It was just in time too, as he could see that Mavis was ready to show Frank just how strong a God-strength weapon could be.

‘I can’t upset the status quo too much with Frank. If I do, he’ll probably blab to Vanessa, and lord knows anything I do to Frank will be all over the school if Vanessa hears about it.’ John looked up at Frank, who was cracking his knuckles with a shit eating grin on his face. ‘On the other hand, he is significantly less terrifying than an draugr king or a hoard of skavens. Plus, I could probably fry him if he tries to beat me up. Still, need to play it safe.’

“Hey Frank,” John repeated, trying his best to sound intimidated and timid. “H-how have you been?”“Cut the shit, Johnny boy,” Frank said, taking a step towards John. “You fucking up and disappeared, leaving me without a guy to kick the shit out of and without someone to get the answers for my tests out of.”

John sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Yes, I was gone for a few days. Lord knows how hard it was on you not having someone to take your aggression out on.” He knew that, in the past, such snark from him would either result in him running for his life or getting the shit beat out of him. However… he honestly couldn't resist a jab here or there.

Frank, however, did not seem to pick up on the sarcasm of John’s comment. “Yeah, it was pretty hard. Fucking the hottest girl in school only does so much for me. I gotta let out some aggression too.”

“Wait, are you saying you get turned on by beating me?” The corners of John’s mouth twitched into a smirk. “Wow. Didn’t know I did that much for you.”

Frank’s scowl deepend, and he responded to John’s comment by picking him up by the shirt collar. “Oh, look at Mr. Funnyman here, thinking he is so funny and shit. Well, do you remember what being funny got you last time, or did the bruises already heal up?”

John sighed. He wanted to play it safe, he really did. However, he had forgotten just how much he hated Frank, and really wanted to get ****. Before he could do anything that he probably would regret, a hand clasped around on Frank’s wrist. This was then followed by another hand on Frank’s opposite wrist. Attached to said hands were both of John’s girlfriends, who looked rather pissed at the bully.

“Put. Him. Down,” Mavis said through gritted teeth.

Frank rolled his eyes, raising John a bit higher. “Sorry ladies, but this little shit has been getting too high and mighty as of late.” Frank then let his eyes wander up and down Mavis’ and Talia’s bodies, and he grinned at what he saw. “Daaaayum, I haven’t seen you hotties around school. You two new?”

Talia gave Frank a cold smile. “You could say that. You could also put our boyfriend down, before you get hurt.”

Frank looked shocked for a moment before he burst out laughing. “Girlfriends?! With Johnny Boy?” He laughed harder, his grip not wavering on John’s shirt. “What, did you take a bet to only scrape the bottom of the barrel? Or is this some sort of weird new fetish to fuck the lamest boy in school while thinking of a stud like me? ‘Cause if you want, I can make that dream a reality for both of you.”

John groaned, slapping himself in the forehead. Mavis decided that enough was enough, and began to pull down on Frank’s arm. No matter how strong the football star was, he was no match for a weapon forged to be equal or greater than Mjolnir. Quickly John found himself lowered to the ground, and Frank looked rather bewildered by how such a small girl was able to be so strong.

Mavis gave him a cold look, before saying in a low voice, “You know, John told me a lot of interesting stories about you. Stories about how he got bullied by you, locked in the school by you, had girls who were interested in him that you chased away… But one of my favorite stories he told me was when he gave you the answers to an anatomy quiz, which you still failed because you somehow managed to put the answers in the wrong order rather than actually read the quiz to see the questions had been shifted by one.”

Frank smiled as he recalled that memory. “Heh. Yeah. Really gave John a beating for that one.”

Mavis glared at him. “Well, John told me that quiz had the question of “How many bones are in the human hand?” Do you remember what the answer was?”

Frank looked puzzled, shaking his head in response.

Mavis smiled cruelly. “It happens to be twenty seven. Now, second question. Do you know what it sounds like when 27 bones are broken all at once?”

Before Frank could respond, Mavis quickly grabbed Franks right hand, turning it so that it was lying as a fist in her own palm, and punched it with all the **** that a godly weapon could.

What followed were exactly three noises. First was the sickening crackling as 27 bones were all broken simultaneously. It was like listening to an entire box of Rice Krispies be covered in milk at once. Secondly was the scream of Frank. It wasn’t the scream of rage one would expect from such a tough bully, nor a scream of slurs. No, it was the scream that a frightened scared animal would make while in **** pain. Finally, the last sound was Mavis laughing as she shook blood off her hand before saying, “That. That is what it sounds like.”

Frank quickly fell back, crying and whimpering in pain as he clutched his broken hand. Talia had taken to making sure that John was okay, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before stepping aside to let John have the final word. John slowly walked up to Frank, taking a knee before sighing.

“You know, Frank, it didn’t have to come to this.”

Frank simply whimpered in response.

John shook his head, looked around the immediate area and saw no one. He turned back to Frank and gave him a smile.

“Now listen, buddy. I’m gonna go home now with my two girlfriends. I am going to spend an evening with them after talking with my mom. Then I am going to go to school tomorrow, talk to a few teachers, and then see where that takes me. You, in the meantime, are going to go see a doctor about that hand. You are going to tell no one on how you actually broke it. After all, you don’t want people thinking a short punky girl managed to beat such a big strong football player, especially if that punk is dating the school’s biggest loser.”

Frank took a deep breath, carefully wiping his nose with his still functional left hand. John smiled before continuing, “‘Cause see, if I am going to be honest, Frank… you are small potatoes. You are nothing more than a playground bully who happened to never grow up past the 3rd grade. So I am going to keep moving forward with my life and leave you behind. Oh, and if you tell anyone about what happened today…” John pointed back at his two ladies, both of which cracked their knuckles, “I’ll have them teach you how many bones are in your entire body. Understand?”

Frank nodded, quickly getting to his feet before running off. John gave a small sigh before turning back to his two leading ladies.

“Well, that was fun. Who’s ready to meet my mom?”

_________________________________________________________________________

“You didn’t tell me much about your mother,” Talia said as they walked down the sidewalk on John’s street. “What’s she like?”

John shrugged. “She’s… well she’s my mom. She works really hard to support us both, constantly picking up shifts at the restaurant she works at. She’s… well she’s not home a lot as of late. Mostly ‘cause of that asshat Frank.”

“Wait, what?” Talia interjected. “What did Frank do?”

John let out a sigh of frustration, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, about a year ago when he failed that anatomy test, he got super duper pissed. He could have just taken it out on me, but he decided to be even more dickish then that. So he snuck into school one night and used a baseball bat or something to smash in every locker on our floor EXCEPT mine. Then he claimed that it was my doing.”

“But… you said you were timid and a loner before you got your powers. Why would the school have believed a known bully over you?”

John shrugged. “His dad was donating a good chunk to the school. Plus it was peak football season, and they couldn’t afford to punish their star linebacker for this. So they told my mom that I, or rather she, would have to come up with half of the funds to fix said lockers, or I could see my scholarship gone and see myself expelled. So she did. And because of that, she had to take out a loan or two to pay off the massive debt, and now has to work extra to pay off the damages.”

Talia and Mavis stayed silent for a moment. “Jesus… No wonder you hated him so much,” Mavis said quietly.

John nodded. “Yeah. I gotta admit, you breaking his hand was a helluva lot more satisfying than I thought it would be. Honestly wish I had enough in my strength stat to do it myself.”

Mavis quickly grabbed his arm stepping beside him so he would look her in the eyes. “Hey, if you want me to, I can go out and make sure the bastard gets an even harsher punishment.”

John shook his head. “No. While I have to admit I do kinda wanna see him get it even worse than what I got, I think a broken hand will suffice for now.” John then gave Mavis a smile before turning to look at the house they just stopped in front of. “Besides, you’re gonna be too busy meeting my mom.

With that, John briskly walked forward before slowly knocking on the front door. He knew his mom’s schedule, and figured as long as she hadn’t picked up a shift for this time, she should be home for the next couple of hours at least. Sure enough, he could hear the slight rustling of someone in the house, followed by the familiar clicks of the locks. The door slowly opened, revealing his mom still wearing her work uniform with a tired but warm smile.

“Yes, who-” She stopped, looking down at her son who had mysteriously disappeared not 4 days ago. Tears began to well up in her eyes as she quickly grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug. “OH MY GOD! John!” John hugged his mom back as she softly sniffled. “I was so worried about you… You just… my baby…”

“Its… It’s okay. I’m home, Mom,” John said, breathing in the familiar scent of his home as his mom dragged him inside. He had to admit, after all the barrow explorations and skaven fighting and council defying… it was good to be home.

Brenda continued to hug her son for a few moments, her tears softly rolling her cheeks. She had been so worried when her son didn’t show up, and almost called the police to report him missing. However, right before she had done so, one of John’s professors had come to visit and told her what had happened, that John had been offered a last minute internship at the professors brother’s company in the next town over. While she had been miffed that John didn’t even text or call her, she understood that he must have been excited.

Still… as a mother she was worried for him. Some could argue she wasn’t the best of mothers, as she spent more time at work nowadays than with her only son. But she was trying to provide for them a comfortable and happy life, and knew it would only be a matter of time before she would finally pay off her large accumulated debt and finally be able to be a proper mother to John again.

At that moment, Brenda looked up and noticed the two lovely young girls standing awkwardly in her living room.

“John…” she slowly asked, “mind introducing me to your friends here?”

John slowly pulled away from his mom’s hug and turned to look at Mavis and Talia. He gave her a shy smile before gesturing to his two girlfriends.

“Talia and Mavis, this is my mom.”