Back To The Beginning

Up next English Lesson 101!

Vanessa English teaches a club goer not to mess with the world’s sexiest billionaire.

Billionaire socialite Vanessa English was partying it up recently at a nightclub when a female club goer decided to confront about something. Big mistake! As you can see in this cell phone footage, Vanessa easily beat this anonymous woman up, moving almost too fast to see!

We caught up with her for her side of the story.

“Vanessa, can you tell us how this started?”

“Of course, I am out to have a good time. Not looking for any trouble. But this woman, whoever she was, felt like it was perfectly acceptable to get in my face and yell at me about something. I didn’t know her or even what she was talking about.”

“You are known for having many bodyguards out with you. Why didn’t you let them step in and handle it?”

“I work out a lot. As someone in the public eye, I have to stay in shape and recently I started taking MMA lessons. So I was probably feeling my oats, so to speak. I don’t really condone fighting, but sometimes you have to defend yourself. People accost me all the time. You have no idea. Maybe nothing changes, but I bet that woman will think twice before she gets in someone’s face.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. Thank you so much, Vanessa. You look gorgeous tonight, by the way.”

“Oh thank you!”

“There you have it everyone. The lesson: don’t mess with Vanessa! Up next Tricia’s big tumble. How pop star Tricia Sampson was found in a compromising position with a three homeless men. Will her career ever recover?”

That was the news report that kept playing over and over again. There were a few different ones but they were all pretty much like that. Grainy cell footage of Vanessa punching poor Sophie over and over again. Then her bragging about working out and training hard or whatever.

In the days after we lost the watch a number of female celebrities had either embarrassing accidents or just weird scandals happen. County singer Jenna Erin was on stage when her clothes disappeared. She singing one minute, then a cloud of smoke appeared, then she was naked.

Six months earlier Vanessa had been in Nashville and her superior attitude was noticed by the locals. After she went back to her home in California she was quoted as saying “I’m never going to Trashville again.” That’s when Jenna Erin responded. “It’s a good thing she’s never coming back, ‘cause if she did, I’d meet her at the airport for a good ole fashioned whoopin’!”

Jenna also encouraged parents to not have their little girls use any of the line of products that Vanessa had lent her name to. Vanessa’s cosmetics and clothing line suffered as a result. So did Vanessa’s reputation.

When Jenna showed the world her gorgeous tits and shaved pussy live on stage It was called a “wardrobe malfunction”, but come on. Clothes don’t just disappear. Plus Vanessa was spotted in the same city that day. Jenna’s body was nice though so it wasn’t a total loss.

The press naturally asked Vanessa for her reaction. She would laugh a little, covering her mouth with her gloved hand, and saying, “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer girl."

Okay, I knew I had screwed up. I was careless and got burned. But damn, the old man was not giving an inch here. I figured it was back to the drawing board and so Sophie and I started to head to out. As soon as my hand touched the door I heard the old man say, “Wait.”

I turned around. Hopeful.

“I think I have something that should help you,” he said as he started digging through some boxes. Eventually he said, “Here it is!” He then laid a compass on the counter. Maybe he was starting to like me again.

“What’s this?” I said.

“It’s a compass. But instead of always pointing north, it points to where the watch is. Kind of like a tracer.”

So it wasn’t much, but it was something. Looking the box I saw a watch identical to the time stopping one. I excitedly scooped it up, “Hey, what about this? Does this one stop time too?”

“No, it just tells time, you idiot.”

So maybe not starting to like me again. Whatever. I kept the other watch anyway. You never know, right? Sophie bid the old man farewell.

“This is why you can’t go around messing with famous people. This moron is too stupid to realize that eventually people will figure out something is up and the military will come for her AND the watch. You have to stop her anyway you can. It’s for her own good,” he said.

After we left Sophie turned to me and said, “See, when I beat her ass, it’ll be for her own good.”

I certainly hope so.