Whatever She Wants

We fucked up.

Somehow Sophie and I not only lost a watch that stops time, but we had lost it to famous socialite Vanessa English. A woman who was always surrounded by bodyguards, paparazzi , and the public in general.

After licking our wounds for a minute I sprang to my feet.

“Come on, she can’t be too far away,” I said.

Sophie got up and we moved down the busy downtown street. People were everywhere. It was night and the city was alive. Restaurants, nightclubs, and dive bars were all elbow to elbow and clamoring for attention.

“You know more about her than I do,” I said, “Where would she go?”

Sophie surveyed the street as we walked. She wouldn’t be in any dive bars. That much I could figure out on my own. She was way too uppity for that. But maybe one of these restaurants. I wouldn’t have thought so but Sophie was convinced she was wearing a waist cincher or something so maybe eating was on the list.

Eventually Sophie looked and pointed at a club called TH13TEEN.

“There,” she said.

Club 13 was a really high end looking place. Velvet rope. Some gorilla posing as a bouncer. Techno music blaring every time the door opened. A line of people waiting to get in, all dressed up like they were trying to impress someone. Probably whoever was running the door.

“Okay, now how do WE get in there?”

“I have an idea,” Sophie said.

She headed around back and I followed. The back of the club was a dirty, smelly alley. The back door was locked so we waited. Eventually a guy came out with a bag of garbage. He walked it over to the dumpster nearby and tossed it in. He went back inside. As the door closed behind him I quietly grabbed it and Sophie and I snuck in.

We found ourselves in a big kitchen. No surprise, so we just started walking our way through, acting like we belonged there. There was a big crew of people hustling around and no one either noticed or cared we were there.

Eventually we made our way out into the club itself. Oh boy. This was exactly the cliché’ thing you’d expect. Bass pumping, darkly lit, strobe lights, VIPs sitting up stairs. The whole thing. We started looking up at the VIPs sitting on couches expecting to find Vanessa there, holding court but we were wrong.

Vanessa was out on the dance floor putting on a show… of some kind. She was dancing, or convulsing depending on your opinion, I guess. But she had all the attention. All eyes were on her, after all it’s not every day some lame ass famous socialite dances in a club. Oh wait, nevermind that.

There were a number of hot babes standing around on the dance floor too. Some of them dancing a little, some of them just posting and taking selfies, because that’s what a dance floor is for these days. But as I watched something was going on with these women. Yeah they were all hot, and all wearing mini dresses and showing off as much as they can. But one by one something would happen to them.

The blonde in the blue top was happy one minute and then soaking wet the next. The red head with the giant boobs tripped over her own feet and went face first into the floor. The fit brunette had her top mysteriously open up and she ran from the floor humiliated.

“Oh my God, do you realize what she’s doing?” I said.

“Yeah, she’s doing our job,” Sophie replied.

Well, that was true. I can’t say for sure that these seeming vapid broads posing on the dance floor deserved the indignities that Vanessa was heaping on them… but they probably did.

A brown haired girl was next, her skirt suddenly appearing around her knees, causing her to fall, ass up. She was wearing a black thong to go with her nice round ass which I probably stared at for a little too long because Sophie rolled her eyes at me.

“Come on, let’s go,” she said and we both headed to the dance floor. We had no plan but I was sure I could grab that watch out of her gloved hands.

Vanessa’s bodyguards were spread out so they shouldn’t be a problem. I’m sure she was feeling very secure clutching that watch in her hand.

At first me and Sophie were just dancing with each other in the corner of the floor. It was fun watching Sophie move her thin body up and down. Slowly we moved our way to the middle of the floor until we were right next to her.

“Don’t do anything impulsive,” Sophie said. “We need a plan.”

That’s when I reached over and grabbed Vanessa’s hand.

And then everything stopped. The music, the dancing, the lights strobing, all of it. Vanessa had pushed the button and now he was just me and her.

“Let me go!” Vanessa yelled.

“I’m telling you lady, you don’t know what you’re messing with, give me that damn watch,” I said trying to sound threatening. My hand on top of hers, which she had balled into a fist.

“It’s mine! You can’t have it, I don’t care who you are!,” she said.

I could feel her hand weaken, I was winning. She wasn’t some big bruiser. She was a spoiled socialite. I can handle this. That’s what I thought at least. Then I looked into her eyes.

She looked scared. Now I know I’ve gone around and humiliated a lot of women since I got this watch. All deserving bitches, so no regrets. But it was much easier to do it when I was stopping time and they were just frozen statues. Here I just felt like some kind of asshole bully scaring a woman.

So I let up. Just a little. We still struggled and I could feel my fingers pushing into her fist. I was almost there.

Then Vanessa rammed her point high heel right into my crotch.

“Owwww!” I yelled and doubled over in pain.

And I let go.

She backed away from me and grinned.

“You loser, you’re never getting this watch back now,” she said smugly. “And you and your little girlfriend over there are toast.”

She started time again. Everyone started to move but she was still standing there. Grinning at me. And I knew I was in for it.

Suddenly the pain in my crotch was replace by a pain my ass! I had a serious wedgie and my pants were around my ankles and then I lost balance. I tumbled to the floor as everyone backed away from me. It was like magic but I knew it was Vanessa. She was standing, still 15 feet away now laughing.

Sophie looked at me and then her and angrily charged at her. But as soon she took two steps Vanessa wasn’t there anymore. Sophie tripped and fell. Her shoe laces tied together.

Vanessa was now standing over her. “Have a nice trip?” she said.

“I’m gonna kick your ass,” Sophie said ripping her sneakers off and popping back up.

“I don’t think so,” Vanessa said.

Sophie took a swing at Vanessa who again seemingly disappeared. Then it was a mess. Vanessa kept popping up to the right of Sophie and each time she did she landed a right cross to poor Sophie’s face.

Bam! Bam! Bam!

Sophie staggered, partly in disbelief she was getting her ass kicked by this spoiled socialite. Then one more punch, an uppercut to the chin, knocked Sophie off her feet and onto the ground with me.

Vanessa laughed the whole time, though she was nursing her fist.

“That was fun,” she said. “Boys! Get these two out of here,” she then shouted.

The bodyguards moved in and grabbed me and Sophie. It was then I realized that everyone in the place was filming this with their phones. My wedgie. Sophie’s beatdown. How humiliating.

We were dragged through the club and thrown into the street. At least I had my pants on.

Looking at Sophie’s bruised face I burned with anger.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Good thing she hits like a girl,” she said. “What about you, Capt Underpants?”

“I’m fine I guess.”

We blew it. Vanessa had kicked our asses and still had the watch. We needed a plan.