Tonks wraps things up.

"It's not our fault," said Hermione. "Fred and George pranked you."

"We did our best," said Ginny. "But they tricked us."

"I don't care," said Tonks, glaring at them both. It was the next morning. The three of them were standing in Tonks' office at the Ministry of Magic, all fully clothed. "You two remember what happened, right?"

Hermione nodded glumly. She remembered it far too well. They'd been stripped stark naked in the Great Hall before hundreds of people, lifted into the air by fairies so they couldn't run away and tickled mercilessly all over their exposed bodies for what felt like hours, while all of their friends and enemies pointed and laughed and took photos. It had been the most humiliating, embarrassing experience of her life. Until the thing that happened next.

"You remember," said Tonks, "how they made us... well. They made us do the thing they made us do."

All three witches went red, remembered how they'd flailed and panicked as the fairies pushed them together into a series of extremely compromising positions. Hermione remembered how Ginny's pussy had tasted, when the fairies **** her mouth down between her friend's legs, and how Tonks' experienced tongue had felt against her clit. She'd resisted, of course, but she'd wound up coming at least four times, obliged to engage in a nude awkward intimate lesbian threesome before the whole wizarding world. And the tickling hadn't stopped, even for a second. All in all, it had been an eventful evening.

"So you see why I have to punish you," said Tonks. "I've had a word with Dumbledore and the two of you are going to stay for a spell in the wizard prison of Asskaban."

"Not Azkaban!"

"No. Not Azkaban. Asskaban."

"What's Asskaban?"

"It's like Azkaban, but instead of Dementors there are Depantors."

"What are Depantors?"

"You know how Dementors make you feel really sad? Depantors make you feel really embarrassed. They're tentacle monsters with giant ogling eyes, and when you're around them you're **** to relieve the most embarrassing moments of your life over and over again."

"Wait, you mean..."

"You know how embarrassed you were last night? It'll be like that, but much worse, twenty-four hours a day until I decide to set you free. Also, you'll be naked, and the Depantors get to play with you as much as they like. And it's open to the public."

"That sounds dreadful," said Hermione, weakly. "Can't we just have detention?"

Tonks snapped her fingers, and the two girls were suddenly stripped naked. She snapped her fingers again, and the two girls disappeared in a flash.

"Right," she said. "Next group, come in."

The door to her office creaked open. Fred and George came in, looking sheepish. "What am I going to do with you?" she said, grinning.

"We don't know anything," said Fred.

"We've never heard of it," said George.

"Can't remember a thing."

"Not like us at all."

"And even if we did it..."

"It was someone else's fault."

"We were being blackmailed."

"We had ****."

"And even if we did..."

"We didn't know what would happen."

"We made a mistake."

"It won't happen again."

"We're very sorry."

"Please don't turn us into frogs."

"Don't worry," said Tonks, smiling sweetly. "I'm not going to turn you into frogs. If anything, I'm impressed. That's some very powerful prank magic you two were wielding."

"We do our best," said Fred.

"We love our work," said George.

"I've got an offer for you. How would the two of you like to come work for the Ministry of Magic?"

"What would we do?"

"Is there a Department of Pranks?"

"Prank magic's very useful against the dark arts," said Tonks. "Evil witches are very easy to beat once you've blown all their clothes off and tickled them senseless. I've done it to Bellatrix Lestrange any number of times."

"So you mean..."

"...you'd be paying us..."

"...to get girls naked..."

"...and embarrass them?"

"Paying you very well," said Tonks. "And I'm going to forgive you for pranking me. I know you only did it because you were afraid of being turned into frogs."

"That's right," said Fred.

"It wasn't because we're perverts at all," said George.

"And of course you'll have free access to all the sexy lady prisoners we keep in Asskaban, to experiment on however you please. Tickle ****, spankings, nipple clamps, slime pits, **** lesbianism, the works. Bellatrix Lestrange is in there right now. I'm sure she'd be thrilled to meet you."

"Sounds scientifically fascinating," said Fred.

"Though not sexy at all, since we're not perverts," said George.

"But there's one more thing," said Fred.

"A debt we're owed," said George.

"I thought you'd say that. Open that cupboard."

Fred opened the cupboard. Inside were three naked girls, tied up, gagged, struggling and furious.

"Hello, Lavender," he said.

"Mmph!"

"Hello, Parvati," said George.

"Mmmph!"

"Hello, Romilda," said Tonks. "In exchange for not getting sent to Asskaban, Lavender and Parvati here have agreed to be your slaves for the rest of the school year. Lavender, you'll be Fred's ****, and Parvati, you'll be George's ****. You can have them sit on your faces all you want."

"I thought Parvati was sitting on my face," said Fred.

"Was she?" said George. "You can have her. I don't mind."

"Can we make them go to class naked?"

"That would be very funny."

"You can do anything you want. I've cleared it with Dumbledore personally. You can spank their bare bottoms and twiddle their tits in the Great Hall every day of the week, if you like."

"I do want to do that," said Fred.

"So do I," said George.

"Mmmmph! Mmmmmph!" said Lavender and Parvati.

"As for Romilda," said Tonks, "she's going to be my ****. Dumbledore liked my lecture so much that I'm going to be teaching Defense Against The Dark Arts for the rest of the school year, and Romilda's going to be my teaching assistant. You're going to invent new pranks, and I'm going to demonstrate them all on her in front of the whole class. Plus, she'll have to go to all the rest of her classes naked."

"Wow," said Fred.

"Cool," said George.

"Mmmmmmph!" said Romilda.

"And after school we can make them all have lesbian sex with each other in public, while everyone watches."

"Well," said Fred, stroking Parvati's tits, "seems like that worked out well."

"Everyone's happy," said George, giving Lavender's bottom a squeeze. "Except Hermione, Ginny, Lavender, Parvati and Romilda."

"Right. And who cares about them? Anyway, you and your slaves can go now. Take Romilda with you."

"Can we take the three of them on a naked tour of London before we go home?"

"We'll tell the Muggles it's a game show. They'll believe anything."

"I don't see why not. Off you go."

"Mmmmmmmph! Mmmmmmmmph! Mmph!"

Once they'd gone, Tonks smiled to herself. "About time," she said. "The potion was almost about to wear off. That would have been embarrassing, wouldn't it?"

She walked across to another cupboard and opened the door. Inside, naked, tied up, gagged, struggling and furious, was Nymphadora Tonks. As she watched, helpless and angry, the other Tonks reached down to painfully pluck out one of her pubic hairs and hold it into the light.

Her whole body shimmered. And there, standing in Tonks' office, was Bellatrix Lestrange.

"It was so easy to capture you," she said. "Good witches are very easy to beat once you've blown all their clothes off and tickled them senseless. After that little debacle in the Great Hall you had to run all the way back to your office naked, again. But this time I was waiting for you. You were so distracted by all these pranking shenanigans, you forgot you were supposed to be hunting me."

She dropped the pubic hair into a flask of mysterious liquid that was sitting on her desk, shook it around and drank it down. Her whole body shimmered again, and within moments she'd turned back into Nymphadora Tonks.

"You've already filed a report that says I'm planning on impersonating you with Polyjuice Potion," she said. "So this is going to be easy. I'm filing another report that says you tried transforming into me and got stuck that way. Then I'm sending you to the deepest, darkest part of Asskaban, with strict orders for the guards not to listen to you when you say you're actually you and I'm actually me."

"MMMMMMMMMPH!"

"I'll encourage Fred and George to come in as often as possible, to do very humiliating things to you. They both have a huge crush on you. Of course, I'll tell them you're me, but they'll still enjoy doing things to my body. Or do I mean your body? This is confusing."

"MMPH! MMPH! MMPH!"

"And I'll come in every week or so to pluck out some more pubic hairs, so I can use them in my potion. Won't that be fun? Just you and me, under a giant spotlight, you strapped to a bench with your legs spread, me with a pair of tweezers. Then it's back to the Depantors, to be tentacled some more. Doesn't that sound really, horribly, deliciously embarrassing? And it's never, ever, ever going to end."

Tonks' cheeks were blazing red. She looked absolutely outraged, her eyes bright with anger, struggling to scream though her gag. Bellatrix grinned and plucked out another of her pubic hairs.

"This one's just for me," she said. "Gosh, it's fun to be a bad guy."