Explaining everything.

Amy's keys were sitting on the desk, almost within reach. Unfortunately, Holt was standing next to them, arms folded, a single eyebrow raised. Amy gulped.

Walking back to the station had been hard, and the elevator ride up had been even harder. Walking back into the bullpen without her pants had been the hardest thing yet. But explaining everything to Holt was going to make them all look like a piece of cake.

She glanced around the room. Jake was planted behind his desk, looking innocent. Terry was eating yogurt and looking away, though she could tell he was sneaking a peek now and then. A space had been cleared for her and Rosa in the middle of the room. All the cops, and a handful of civilians, were standing around the edges, pretending to work. Their eyes were glued to the two unfortunate, pantsless detectives. Only Rosa's **** stare prevented them from bursting into laughter and applause.

"Detective Santiago," said Holt. "Please account for this morning's shenanigans."

"Um."

"I see by your... attire that you've been pranked by Gina Linetti. I find that to be hilarious. However, it does not explain to me why you felt it necessary to walk across this very room with no clothes on, approximately one hour and forty-three minutes ago. Account for yourself, Santiago."

"Well, I..."

"I can also determine from the colouration of your buttocks that you've been spanked. I assume that was a component of Gina's prank."

"It... it was all her fault, sir."

"Probably true. What does it say about your skills as a detective, Santiago, that a mere administrative assistant could humiliate you so completely and effectively. And don't think you're off the hook, Diaz. It's obvious you've also been spanked. I assume your ex-girlfriend at Shaw's had something to do with it?"

Jake stifled a snort. Rosa shot him a murderous look. Her cheeks were hot enough to fry an egg on.

"Sir," she said, stiffly. "This is all my fault. I **** Detective Santiago to expose herself to the room as a distraction, sir. If anyone's to be punished, it should be me."

"And how did that work out for you, Diaz?"

"Not... not well, sir?"

"No? What happened?"

Rosa gritted her teeth.

"Linetti... she trapped me on the balcony naked, sir. We had to walk all the way to Shaw's to get our clothes back."

"Where you were spanked."

"Where... where I was spanked."

Holt nodded.

"I don't understand the details," he said, "but I'm told there's something called a "living stream" of the event. You may want to check that out. Anyway, detectives, since I have no hard proof whatsoever that Gina was involved in any of this, and since I value unit cohesion above anything else, I'll leave it at that. You're lucky you're my two best detectives."

"Hey," said Jake. Amy frantically motioned at him to shut up, unwittingly flashing her ass to Boyle in the process.

"We appreciate your forbearance, sir," she said, "and I personally promise it won't happen again in the future."

"See that it doesn't."

"We will, sir. Do you mind if I..."

"Oh. These?" Holt picked up the keys. "Don't you have work to do, Santiago?"

"W-what?"

"By my count, you've taken an unauthorised absence of approximately one hour and forty-three minutes. Do you really think I'll let you get away with dodging any more work?"

"But I need to go back to my apartment, sir."

"And you can. After your shift is over. In approximately five hours and thirty-eight minutes."

"I don't have a spare uniform here, sir."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Gina's, sir."

"Prove it," said Holt. "You're the detective. Otherwise, I fail to see why you shouldn't face the consequences of your own lack of preparation."

"But, sir, I can't work in nothing but a hoodie."

"Of course not. That hoodie isn't official police attire. You can't wear anything that isn't official police attire."

"You have got to be kidding me," said Rosa, in a strained voice.

"I don't want to hear you take that tone with me again, detective. Kindly hand over the hoodies."

"But..."

"Now. Gina wants them back."