A lace-up tube top and ripped jeans

The saleswoman makes a mad dash through the store, picking things out that seem somewhat questionable, but you can’t even get a good look with how fast she’s moving. With those selections, she brings you to the changing rooms, dumps the clothing in your hands, and literally pushes you into a stall.

“You’ll look incredible, I swear! I can’t wait to see how it all looks!”

You strip out of your bottoms, and then look at the clothes she selected. There’s a pair of jeans that almost reaches your knees. Initially you rejoice at finally having something that covers your thighs, but once you put them on, you realize it was too good to be true. More than just being stylishly ripped, most of the fabric is missing! And- w-w-what’s that breeze!? These jeans don’t have a seat! Your ass is completely exposed, and your g-string isn’t helping either. But you have to admit, they do give you a bit of an assertive look. And, unlike anything else you own, they extend more than an inch past your butt.

The top is lace-up, meaning your bra is a no go. It’s a tube top, and it’s severely lacking in the height department. It spans from the top of your nipples to halfway down your ribcage, missing your belly button by a couple inches. How, when you’re so small, do you keep finding clothes that are way too small!? The width of this top is hopeless. You have to pull as hard as you possibly can just to be able to tie the laces. And even then, everything between your nipples is concealed only by the razor-thin laces…

The pale skin of your boobs shows straight through the laces. Your midriff is bare. Your legs feel completely naked. And the whole thing clearly shows off more of your boobs and butt than what you came in here wearing! You walk out, ready to decline the clothes that were picked out for you, but you’re met with nothing but a wall of compliments.

“Oh my god you look so good! It’s incredible, so pretty! Your body type really really makes it work. Other girls I’d have to give a thumbs down if they tried something like this. Honestly. I’d tell them, ‘It’s no good, you just can’t wear them the way that they’re made to be worn,’ and I’d have them change back. But not you! These things were made to be worn by you!”

Insight Check: Failed!

A smile creeps across your mouth as her flattery sinks into your head.

“Thank you! But, uh, you can see so much cleavage…” you mumble.

“Uh-huh! Uh-huh! It’s all thanks to you being…” she quiets her voice to an enthusiastic whisper, “…stacked like a fricking brickhouse!” She beams at you and resumes talking at a normal volume. “Flat girls try wearing stuff like this all the time but they can’t make it work. Like me. I’m flat. I’m jealous of those puppies. And I’m jealous of how good you look! Oh my god! Too damn sexy!”

“I’m really happy you think so! It does bring out my ‘assets’ really well. But… Isn’t it a little… slutty?” you whisper.

“What!? Nonononononononononononono!” she insists. “It’s far more tasteful than that. Because you’re doing it intentionally, that makes it tasteful. I’d even call it… lascivious.”

Intelligence Check: Failed!

“Lascivious?” you ask. “Is that like classy?”

“YES!” she agrees. “That’s exactly it! See? You understand. Obviously you would. A classy girl knows when she looks classy, after all.”

Insight Check: Critically Failed!

Status Gained: Oblivious

“You really think I look classy?”

She nods emphatically.

“Thank you! Aww, thank you so much! I love the whole thing! It’s super cute and works so well with my figure!”

“I love that you love it!” she answers. “Come on, I’ll ring you up. I’ll even detag it so you can leave the store looking like a star!”

The cash register displays a total of $22, and you happily pay, convinced that you’ve made a wise purchase.

Money Lost: $22, Total: $3

“Come again soon!” she says. “I have so much more clothing that I can ONLY sell to you!”