Harley’s fun

Harley Quinn was bored, that alone was a dangerous concept. Lounging on the couch in the middle of the day surfing through one television channel after the other, Harley huffed and blew a strand of white hair out of her face. She had gone through Batgirl’s wardrobe again and was wearing a t-shirt for a college chess club and shorts.

Right now, Batman was down in the cave overlooking the rest of the werewolves Power Girl brought back from the city with Aloe Vera giving them a look over. Red Hood was upstairs with the rest of the girls keeping THEM busy. And here she was bored out of her head, watching television in a city cut off from the rest of the world thanks to an ancient vampire count who hates dogs.

“Oh gee… What do we have here? The blonde BITCH at it again…” Huffed the bleached white woman staring at the news as the anchor brought up footage of Power Girl snatching up people across the city. Along with voice overs from Vicky Vale claiming to be on scene boycotting Batman after being caught on police cam talking with Power Girl and kidnapping the person she had in her claws.

“Do you see what I mean Jamie? This is vigilantism at its worse! He’s already murdering criminals, now he’s kidnapping our fellow citizens! And I’m sure he’s responsible for the city being surrounded by fire too, we should have chased him out of Gotham YEARS ago…”

Turning off the television and giving the TV the stink eye with her tongue sticking out, Harley crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat. “Blah blah blah, you talk big behind a microphone, but I wonder if your panties would turn brown if you met Mr. B himself?!”

Left alone to her devices, Harley was left with the voices in her head. Looking to her right she could hear the prim, calm voice of her former self, adjusting her glasses and pressing her clipboard close to herself. “A sudden bout of rampant paranoia fixated on the dark knight, behavior that seems VERY recent I might add.” The disembodied voice spoke with an analytical air. “In the past she was quite outspoken in DEFENDING Bruce’s actions, but now? One would think more than just her opinion has changed.”

Looking to her left, Harley could see her snow white wolfen self, sitting like an eager pet dog with her tail wagging. “Woof, woof, WOOF, woof!”

“I gotta go with wolfie there, she’s got a point.”

“She’s an 11 feet tall wolf, Harley.” Sighed Dr. Harleen Quinzel, stepping into view and rolling her eyes. “The ONLY thing on her mind is fun, food and fornication.”

“Exactly! I can relate to that!” She smiled, crossing her arms behind her and leaning back to let her feet dangle.

“Haven’t you considered anything different about this woman? The fact she never shows up on television? How she’s primarily heard on the evening news? Or perhaps maybe how she has managed to convince a portion of the police to re-open their Batman task force?”

“Is there a point? I like points, they lead somewhere.”

Throwing her arms up in the air and turning around in frustration, her werewolf side stood up to all fours. “Woof, woof!”

“VICKY VALE IS A FUCKING VAMPIRE?????!”

Slapping her hand over her face, Dr. Quinzel sighed and slowly nodded. “Yes Harley, Vicky Vale is a vampire.”

“It makes perfect sense! You just don’t see her in the day anymore.”

The wolf and doctor looked to each other and in a moment of solidarity shared the same expression of disappointment. “If Dracula had turned her to his side and is using her to defraud Batman, we should let him know so a plan can be devised to stop her.”

“Pfff… NOPE! Plans are for chumps, what I’ve got is an idea!”

“Woof, woof?”

“Yes sweetie, there will be treats.” Getting up from her seat and wringing her hands together with what she was going to do, the albino woman cartwheeled her way over towards the front door and called out for anyone nearby to hear her. “Bye everyone, I’m off to kill vampire Vicky, I’ll be back before dinner.” Slamming the door shut, no one heard her.

*

The Turn Pike; A seedy bar at the forest’s edge of Gotham. In the past it sat just outside the road that led out of Gotham towards Star City and Metropolis, now there was a wall of fire just ten feet way from the parking lot keeping anyone from getting in or out. Despite that, the bar still stood and for that the patrons that regular there kept coming.

A biker gang of five sat by the bar drinking their woes away, cut off from the city after the wall of fire carved around the road and blocked their exit, forcing them to stay. Three of the Riddler’s old crew were throwing darts, their uniforms worn and dull from overuse. Sitting alone in the corner were a pair of the Black Mask’s crew, playing cards while drinking a pint of beer.

Criminals, scum and reprobates of all shades frequent the bar when they weren’t on the clock… Or when their boss gets hog tied by the Dark Knight and tossed into the asylum. As of now, almost half of the city’s super criminals were either dead, imprisoned or just dropped off the face of the Earth. The city had become a troubled hellscape now where people were either disappearing, being found butchered or working for some scary loon calling himself Dracula. For now, this bar was an island away from the madness.

Kicking the door wide open with inhuman strength, leaving the heavy metal door to hang off its hinges, everyone at the bar looked up to the newcomer… A chalk white woman wearing a belly-out t-shirt and short shorts with her hair in pigtails. With a wide smile and her arms out waving, the woman introduced herself.

“HI BOYS! HARLEY’S IN THE HOUSE!!!!”