Loot Galore!

“Unfortunately, I cannot understand you.” John was still ready to create a construct or take the crossbow from his inventory if he needed to, but the goblin didn’t seem to be hostile. Despite having attacked John before and John killing all the goblin’s comrades, the creature was looking at him with reverence. It pulled on John’s sleeve, but didn’t budge.

“Hold on,” John threatened with a glare and the business end of a crossbow. The goblin backed up a few feet, but stared at him with the same amount of reverence.

It spoke once more, though John still couldn’t understand it, and it knew that, “O agaan kaarthaar!”

Paying the goblin no mind as long as it stayed a safe distance away, he pulled up the flood of popups that had followed the boss’ defeat but which he had ignored for Amy’s benefit.

Achievement Unlocked: Underdog
Defeat a boss twice your level!

• 1 perk point
• 1 skill point (expires 24hr)

Achievement Unlocked: Not So Underdog
Defeat a boss twice your level with a single hit

• Caution! Gained a Vendetta with “William Shakespeare”
• 1 skill point (expires in 24hr)

He tapped “Vendetta,” as it had a tooltip available, and a small window with the description of it appeared in front of him.

Vendetta, Permanent
A curse created by **** hate or spite upon one’s defeat. Until triggered, a Vendetta may respawn the defeated enemy when you enter an illusion barrier. The enemy will be more powerful and worth greater rewards.

That is… concerning. It doesn’t specify how much more powerful either. Hopefully, by the time I meet him again, I could beat him without having to rely on a rocky gorilla, John thought as he brought up the rest of the popups.

Achievement Unlocked: Home (Screen) Improvement
Use a tooltip! Hooray! More work for me!

• You may now see a semi-detailed tooltip for some terms mentioned in achievements or quests.

That’s useful, John thought as “illusion barrier” was underlined signifying that it had a tooltip as well, but he already knew what illusion barrier meant, so he decided to keep looking at the popups.

Achievement Unlocked: Frienenemy
Through persuasion, intimidation, or bribery, turn an enemy into a friend.

• 1 Charisma
• 1 Strength
• $50

That was it for points, so he decided to invest all the stat points he had. He put four points into Agility to raise it to twenty-five, one into Libido to raise it to twenty-five, and six into Strength to raise it to sixteen. That unlocked even more achievements.

Achievement Unlocked: Track Star
Raise your Agility to 25 or higher through stat points, achievements, or otherwise!

• Raising Agility further will improve reflexes and eyesight more!
• Raising Agility further will improve movement speed less due to the physical limitations of the human body (and general physics)!
• (Some) Agility Perks Unlocked

Achievement Unlocked: Horn-dog
Raise your Libido to 25 or higher through stat points, achievements, or otherwise!

• 50% of your Libido is now added to that of your consenting partner(s) during sex!
• Your sexual fluids no longer taste disgusting! You’re welcome.
• (Some) Libido Perks Unlocked

Considering he had just gotten a perk point, that was extremely convenient, and though not getting much faster was disappointing, better reflexes were amazing, and those sexual benefits were nothing to brush aside either, assuming I actually have sex.

The new perks were pretty cool, though the Agility ones were more up to his speed than the Libido ones.

Eagle Eye I: You may now zoom your vision up to 5x while retaining the same amount of clarity.

Precision I: Sneak attacks do 2x more damage

Reflex Mode I: You may briefly increase your reaction time and reflex speed by 4x twice each day upon the first point spent.

Parkour: Unlock the skill “Parkour” which allows you to see creative and quicker paths to certain destinations.

Heartbreaker: Taking virginities grants an experience point bonus and provides more experience for the “Fucking” skill if acquired.

Money Shot: Your sexual fluids are much easier to wash off and will not stain.

Strong Swimmers: Your sperm will ignore mundane forms of contraception.

It Takes (At Least) Two: Nullifies any pleasure derived from masturbation, but any pleasure provided or taken from sexual acts with two or more partners is substantially increased.

Bonus! Combination Agility and Libido Perk, Nimble Fingers: Unlock the skill “Nimble Fingers” which increases your proficiency for massages.

John quickly selected Reflex Mode, it was an easy choice really. Most of the libido skills were useless to him right now, and Reflex Mode seemed badass as hell. Parkour and Precision seem cool, but if I want to be a gunman, I should probably get Eagle Eye next. It’ll be super useful for long range shots.

Well, those are all the points I earned, let's look at the items now, John thought as he pulled up his inventory, starting with the Shard of Mercy.

Shard of Mercy
Epic item. Attach to any weapon and all further damage dealt by it will be treated as subdual and will knock enemies **** instead of killing them. Renders the weapon totally ineffective for a few seconds after application and removal.

Wow! With this, I could turn the gun into something that knocks enemies out. I wonder if I could bring creatures out of barriers. I can bring items out, so I don’t see why not… John’s thoughts were interrupted as the goblin was fidgeting in place, seemingly growing impatient.

“Don’t make me test this on you,” John threatened as he turned to the creature, and the goblin immediately cowered back. I wonder what the limits are on the random barriers I can create. This barrier is as big as the school on the inside… I wonder how big it is on the outside.

John shook his head to clear it and moved on to what he had gotten from the boss, Spying the Robe of Elemental Protection first.

Robe of Elemental Protection
Rare item. This lightweight, self-cleaning robe grants potent resistance to elemental magic from the schools of fire, earth, water, and wind. Nearly destroyed from physical damage.

John brought up the interface of Craft and tried to repair the robe, but his eyes bulged out at the cost.

Repair Robe of Elemental Protection?
Cost: $3,500, Enchanted Plumage
Result: Full Durability
Side Effect: Softer Interior
[Accept]/[Decline]

John hesitantly hit accept, and the black hooded robe and white feather materialized in front of him, the burn marks and rips slowly repairing and closing themselves as vanes from the feather stitched into the cloak before fading away. For just a moment, the robe floated in the air, its black fabric littered with white specks, before becoming uniform again and falling into John’s hands.

Well, no time like the present, with that in mind, he equipped the robe the old fashioned way and marvelled at the fluffy interior. This is like a Snuggy but even more comfy! He rubbed his hands over the velvety interior of the robes and flipped the hood up, rubbing his cheek against the interior of it, It’s like a super soft blanket! This is more like pajamas than battle equipment!

Alright, next on the list… the spellbook! That’s going to be so cool! John took the book out of his inventory and used Spy on it, as he wanted to know more about it before he used it.

Spellbook: Magic Rope
Uncommon item. Consumed upon use. Teaches the user the spell “Magic Rope.”

This is where his new tooltips came in handy, as he tapped “Magic Rope” and a description of the spell appeared.

Magic Rope, Level N/A, Cost: 5 MP per meter per minute
Create a rope with a maximum length of (Skill Level_2) meters that automatically moves according to your will. Can wrap around things and knot itself but cannot do damage or pull moving objects towards you.

• Magic rope remains for (Skill Level) minutes if not cast again.
• Only one rope may exist at the same time; if you cast another rope, the first will vanish.
• Strength of rope and knots depend on Wisdom and skill level

John used it immediately, and a popup informed him that he learned the spell. He tossed a crossbow a few feet from himself and used the rope to pull it toward him once it was on the ground. This is like Christmas! John thought after putting the crossbow back into his inventory, Do I have anything else to go through… right! The Skill Evolution Point!

John scrolled back to the achievement and reread it, this time noticing Skill Evolution Point had a tooltip available.

Achievement Unlocked: No More Training Wheels
Defeat a boss from a barrier whose level is greater than or equal to yours! It’s pathetic that I had to make a separate achievement for this.

• 1 Skill Evolution Point

That was exactly what he was looking for; he tapped it and read the following description.

Skill Evolution Point, Core Mechanic
Skill Evolution Points are used on skills to evolve them. The further a skill is from the max level, the greater the likelihood the evolution will fail. Gamer’s Body and Gamer’s Mind cannot be evolved.

Well, none of my skills other than those two are max level yet, so I’m probably not going to be using that for a while. Nice to have though! John thought as he closed out his stat sheet and saw the goblin man hopping up and down excitedly, though it couldn’t possibly know anything that John had just done. He used Spy on the impish creature and was met with a screen he had formerly associated with humans.

Raak Tun
Lone Goblin Warrior, Level 5
The last goblin warrior in his village and the last adult male. Since you have defeated their previous leader, he sees you as the new leader.
RS: +120

John reread the last part of the description multiple times and had an excellent guess as to what the word the goblin had been repeating meant. It yelled this once again when it had noticed that it had regained John’s attention.

“Kaarthaar!” the goblin said as it pointed to him, and John was torn between just leaving for seventh period, and seeing where this led.

“I would say take me to your leader…”