In the office today

(Okay so one of the issues with my writing is compression. If the readers don't take breaks while reading or take it slow it looses a lot and is just stringed together too much without stopping. I'm gonna try to add more natural breaks for those readers that don't add them themself. And slow it down. Longer chapters roughly the same amount of humor, better broken up with more space for character development.)
(Just to clarify any injuries sustained in life do not come to the afterlife and neither do legs those return once on a 'living world' though all injuries are healed after reincarnation. Can't do shit about a personality though)

Across from thine eyes. Figure of silky lust, empty eyes revealing nothing. No pain, no service just a desk of polished wood. Polished to perfection but nothing maintaining a soul to see.
Broken leg, empty left eye, hazy view and cracked skull. Where is my recognition? MY HONOR?!

Goddess:
Pulls out cheeto puffs, delicately places one in mouth, crunches.

Warrior: "WHO ARE YOU!!!??"

Goddess:
Pauses, licks lips, pulls out packet, retrieves second Cheeto puff. Quietly chews.

...
Goddess: ... crunch

Stares
Goddess: Stares

I look down, it's written.
...
I can't read.

Warrior: "Please read to me." Shamed

Goddess: loud crunch, puts cheetos down
"Yeah sure. So you might not have noticed but you died."
Leans over to check notebook
"Oh, you know, my bad."

...
Stares
Goddess: Stares
...
"I'm just a, clerk. umm, looks away your god will see you when you're done."
licks lips

Warrior: "He's not real" defeated

Goddess: "Don't say that, he's real. quietly to you"

Warrior: "I want to die, truly" stern

Goddess: "Me too but there's nothing for either of us but work. Okay, here are the conditions that matter. You are de-

Warrior: "Was any of it real?" whimpering

Goddess:"Oh god" disdain

Warrior: "He's not here?! I did all of this for him!" Whimpering

Goddess: "Thats not, double checks notebook, -true, you did it for your wife and unborn child and that friend of yours, who was, reading small print -fucking your wife"

Warrior: "WHAAATTT?!!!" Crying

Goddess: "Umm, don't worry about him, he's checks notes
Won the battle and became the chosen of the gods
tripped on a body and got killed by a spike, looks at the warrior, then the notebook, he seems too busy to notice
then a donkey ate his dick...
Warrior still cries
It's not that bad! C'mon."

Warrior: "I was there!" Crying

"At the end of the battle, he was crowned Victoriant! THAT BASTARD"

Goddess: "Umm uh, uh, its intensely checks notes
They read, Victoriant is currently marrying his wife
Absolutely irrelevant, you know what you need! A fresh start."

Warrior: "My whole LIFE!? I trusted him, I trusted my GOODDDD"

Goddess: What am I supposed to do with this, honestly? He's not even from earth! Just some fuckin inbred barbarian left at my door... ... I have an idea

Warrior: loudly whimpers

Goddess: Places her hand on his shoulder "I'm on your side" squeezes

Warrior: looks down, sees his dick is trying to blow off of his body
"What are you doing to me!" Panic replaces whimpering

Goddess: "You think your God accepts crying cowards?!!"
Sign this or, presses a button scrolls past the poop guy video you'll pulls up live video of his wife never see her-
Warrior: Shocked disgust
Goddess: huh?
looks at video
puts away supportive hand
Warrior: "IIII'LLLL KILLL HIMMMMM!!!!!!" SHEER RAGE!!!!
that was, fast. he's got some moves. Admires the Victoriant's finesse.
proceeds to leave the tv on while the Victoriant fucks his new wife whilst his fellow warriors weep with joy seeing true love for the first time.
Warrior: SLAMS the desk "how do I sign?" deep rumbly voice

Goddess: "I'll do it for you" casual

Warrior: "Then, why did you ask?" genuinely confused

Goddess: signs here, and there "I'm polite, greatest virtue in the galaxy." non-chalant

Warrior "Not the universe?" stunned

Goddess: "Whadya think I am, the G o d god? I just work here." casual you silly thing energy

Warrior: "Wait so my god-"
Goddess: "Pick a world"
Warrior: "He's-"
Goddess: "Pick a world"
Warrior: Proud "He's-"
Goddess: "Pick a fucking WORLD"
Warrior: awed, inspired "Arvandor, the afterlife"
Goddess: "umm, thumbs through the list not seein it buddy"
Warrior: reverent "Land of rippling rivers and valleys, full of warriors and sacred honor"
Goddess: "I got you buddy thats my favorite fantasy too, let's see, this one will do" getting you out of my office energy
Warrior: marred disgust "Not your dirty thoughts WE-"
falls through floor can't really hear him, nothing new.

However, THESE CHEETOS. I HAVE NEVER

Narrator: I wanna be the goddess, best job in the universe, hehe
The end

(I know spacing things out didn't literally mean just add spaces, but I feel like it was so effective. Also, I love making everything slam into each other at once. I think I like drama, love it when shit just gets awful and chaotic. I find that beautiful)