Family Meeting

The kitchen would be warm even if you weren’t all covered up so modestly.

Your mother sits at the table in her raggedy old hoodie, glowing. Everyone else is clearly suspicious of her sudden good mood after a week that hasn’t been easy for anyone. There’s a positive vibe in the room, and a hint of optimism on every face. Nobody wants to talk about this, but everyone knows that it’s necessary.

Your mother gives two thumbs up. “Good news, everyone. I didn’t want to put it in writing, but we’re haunted.”

Nadia puts down her vape with a frown. “Huh?”

“Haunted. We’re haunted. It turns out we aren’t actually suddenly weird pervert sex criminals,” Tracy begins, and Rey cuts in, indignant.

“Criminals?”

“I think there are laws,” Tracy replies, looking to Nadia for confirmation.

“I don’t want to get into that,” Nadia says, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What the hell are you talking about, sis?”

“Oh, please. I bet you’ve seen her too. Pretty lady with horns?”

“Yes!” Delta shrieks, giving you a look.

“How is this my fault?” you ask.

Tracy speaks over everyone. “The house is haunted. That is what is happening. The good news is that we don’t have to feel bad about ourselves anymore. The bad news is that the house is haunted and we’re stuck here.”

Rey rubs her face. “Hey, Flynn, have you ever tried, like, not moving us into a house that was haunted?”

“I don’t think Flynn is the problem. I think it’s the ghost,” Tracy says firmly.

“Thanks, Mom.”

She fiddles with her coffee mug. “Let’s go around the room and see what we know. I saw the ghost when I was in bed. Flynn?”

“I saw her in the mirror,” you say with a yawn.

“I saw her outside the window looking in all creepy like,” Delta says. “That was before I almost got killed by the giant spider.”

Tracy’s eyes widen. She clears her throat. “Tell me more about that.”

“It was huge. It almost killed me.” Delta folds her arms. “Flynn killed it.”

Two, almost two and a half factual inaccuracies. Delta really hasn’t been herself since this started. In a way, it feels like you’ve all regressed a little.

“It was just a normal spider. And I didn’t kill it,” you say.

“It was like this big,” Delta insists, holding her hands apart as though to indicate the size of an implausibly large catch at the lake.

Tracy looks at you. You shake your head. “OK. Rey?”

“I had a dream about her,” Rey says, examining her fingernails. “Horn chick with big boobs.”

“Nadia?”

“I plead the fifth.”

Tracy glares at her. “Have you seen her or not?”

“I’ve seen her! I’m just not talking about it.” Nadia avoids eye contact.

“OK, so we’re all haunted. I guess we knew that already because we’re all acting weird.” Tracy takes a deep breath. “So, what do we do about it?”