Preparations and Plannings

Ootah

Ootah, Andromeda, and Tessa are at the entrance to Dungeons for Damsels. There is a sign at the entrance stating “Be back in 5 minutes!” They have been standing here for 8 minutes. A little annoyed at her mermaid aunt, Ootah asks, just to fill in the time with something, “So, Andromeda said that an eldritch horror is about to destroy your and, I suppose, my future world?”

Tessa nods, “Yes. While Andromeda got the closest thing to exact details, Kevin was also told before we volunteered to be a part of the game. I will admit my initial reason for being here is a little more selfish than that. But all of the initial contestants are committed to seeing it through...”

“...Save Craig, who is too big of an asshole to care, and Tegan, who is too distrusting to believe it, I presume?”

“You are quite observant, Ootah,” Andromeda notes.

“Part of the job as a warrior or a noble low on the line of succession. So, how do we tell Jenny? I presume my cousin is well aware of the threat and the cat will just follow orders as a matter of course.”

Tessa sighs, “Jenny is still a little fragile. We will tell her when she is ready.”

The sign disappears. Ootah stomps in, bellowing “Auntie!” The orc presumes the others followed her.

Daphne is very excited. Granted, from Ootah’s experience with the mermaid, she is often excited, but she is almost literally vibrating. “Hi, everyone! What are we up to? Leveling? Buying stuff? Delving? Congratulating me?”

Congratulating her? “I suppose I need to check if I can level, then the girls and I were looking to try a delve?”

There is Daphne’s shark-toothed grin. “Yay! Okay, Ootah, you have enough XP to hit Level 4. That’s a feat or ASI for you.”

I already had enough XP to hit Level 4? It hasn’t even been a day? I’m going to need to get used to the ease at which I gain XP. Okay, of the feats I would immediately take, Slasher is the only one that will give me my last point of Strength or a stat I don’t particularly care about. I suppose Orcish Fury is on the table with the transformation I got, but I’d rather get the Constitution point from that after I get Strength maxed. While Great Weapon Master will ultimately grant me more damage, I need multiple stacks of advantage before that starts to really pay off. Ootah makes her selection, and feels stronger.

“Okay, 3 haremettes at Level 4! That qualifies as a Party, so let’s talk delving. So, you have a bunch of options. I’ve been told to compare it to setting up a multiplayer game lobby? I don’t exactly play a lot of video games. Anyways, you can do PvE stuff or, if there are two parties raring to go at the same time, PvP stuff. PvE can be set at various difficulties and will default into a 3-wave horde of baddies to kill. The party members get XP based on their kill count. The party as a whole will get BP based on the number and quality of the baddies killed. If you get to the end and take down the boss, you get a special prize, tailored to whoever got the last hit in: could be a magic item, could be a PP, could be something else. You can decide how you want to split the loot before you leave the recovery room. Make sense?”

Ootah and Tessa nods. Andromeda has her hand up, “Is that really fair? I mean, if I can one-shot a bunch of enemies with my magic, how do Ootah and Tessa gain XP?”

“Well, you as a party can decide not to let the wizard gain BP in that case. We are following Ioun’s rule about last hits. Part of good party composition is to let the melee fighters handle things to get their XP, too.”

Andromeda nods. Good, she understands.

“For completion sake, PvP would default to team deathmatch between the parties, but we can set up objective based PvP if you want. Again, party members get XP based on their defeat count, but there is a sparring XP penalty that will trigger. No extra BP or loot, but it might be fun?”

Eh, sparring in the training grounds doesn’t waste the delve on a lesser payout.

“So, can we have a normal difficulty PvE delve?” Andromeda asks.

“Sure thing! Just head downstairs to the recovery room, get whatever gear you need to borrow, then head through the big double doors when you are ready!”

The threesome heads down into the Hotel basement recovery room, curious about what the delve will be like. Ootah has all of her gear (and basically all of it on). Tessa takes a few moments to slip in her sea elf mail, then grabs a couple of scimitars. Andromeda pulls most of her clothes into her inventory, then checks on her arm cannon, asking “Strategy?”

Tessa: +2 XP (Full Frontal Nudity for Another Contestant [Ootah])

“From what I watched during your challenge, I keep them off of you, Tessa helps me with that, you soften them up as best you can? Specifics usually requires an understanding of the battlefield and what we are fighting. We don’t have that.”

Over a P.A. system, Aunt Daphne says, “Normal difficulty delves occur on a neutral playfield. The three waves are displayed on the screen by the entrance. Give it a look!”

As promised, all three waves are listed out on a television screen:

Party Time – Thugs!

Something relatively light and easy for a first-time go! Buncha gangster types need a lesson.

• Wave 1 – 6 Thugs
• Wave 2 – 1 Thug Lieutenant, 2 Thugs
• Wave 3 – 1 Thug Captain, 2 Thugs

“Okay, first wave is all cannon fodder. It’s merely going to be a task of keeping them off of the AoE caster. The other two waves are boss fights, with the last wave more difficult than the first. I draw the big guy’s attention, you two handle the minions first. Make sense?”

“Strategy is sound,” Andromeda notes.

Tessa agrees, “The three of us got this. I mean, we took on more orcs at once yesterday.”

Hopefully, that is not overconfidence. Ootah strides into the delve chamber, greataxe already in her hands.

Kevin

Kevin spent the rest of the morning hanging out with Mona up in the Mistress Suite. Surprisingly, they spent most of the time in Mona’s private gym. The effects of Delayed Gratification, Accelerated has hit the gamer girl HARD. Last week, Mona seemed to struggle just to get the bare minimum done for her diet and exercise bounties. Now, she is jogging on the treadmill without a complaint. Kevin also swears that he saw Mona’s pudgy belly actually visibly shrink slightly. A bit unnerving, but good for her.

Mona: +10 BP (Walk for 30 minutes and cover 5 K steps)

She then moves on to weights. Nothing too fancy, just basic exercises she must have picked up from Josie.

“You okay, Mona?” he asks, a little afraid of breaking the spell.

“I feel pretty good. All of this just got a lot easier. If the audience wants me to earn a sexy body, then that’s what I’m going to do. You okay?”

“Yeah,” the hu-cow replies, “Things with Winter are... complicated, but I imagine relationships are often that way even without the interdimensional kidnapping. We just got shoved into the deep end and need to navigate swimming together. A lesser version of your problem.”

Mona nods while finishing a set. “Good to hear. Don’t remind me. I totally freaked out last night when weddings on the show were mentioned. I know that it’s the right thing to do, but I am soooo not ready for it.”

Ophelia walks in to take a lunch order for Kevin. She overheard, apparently, as she notes, “Hey, Mama Queen was nearly 50 and human when she was grabbed for the show. She was of an age where she was ready to marry, so, when Mama Skye sprung a surprise wedding on her, she just rolled with it. I am sure that, if you aren’t ready by the time the show is over, no one will hold it against you.”

“She really got married 7 times?” Mona asks, looking a little green.

When the sea elf maid nods, Mona mutters, “Soooo many weddings and responsibilities and all that...”

Kevin says, “Well, you don’t have to marry me. We’re buds. You need a best man, I got your back. And I will get so many male strippers for your first bachelorette party.”

Mona faintly smiles, “Thanks. And girl strippers with big boobies too?”

Kevin feels a bit queasy now. He still manages, “Sure.”

Mona goes back to her weights after that, happily humming a tune. Kevin needs to spot a bit, but Mona is on point, pushing herself but not to the point of breaking. Again, she seems supernaturally efficient. It is kind of crazy. Mona finishes her workout just in time for Ophelia to yell out, “Lunch is ready!”

They all have the same thing, just with different amounts of baked cockatrice. Sweet potatoes for a starch, broccoli for a vegetable. Kevin and Ophelia both eat. Mona still apparently doesn’t like vegetables, as the girl casts Prestidigitation to reflavor her broccoli into something else. Kevin takes the time to book his training session while at the table.

Kevin: -20 BP

“Sooo, minor quests. I would really like to assign one for everyone soon, but I need ideas. You know what you and Winter would like?”

“I don’t know about myself. You should talk to Winter on your date tonight.”

Mona considers it, then nods, “Okay. I can do that. I already got Mineko, with a ‘find your place’ quest so she will hopefully accept that I don’t want her to think she’s a slave. I’m thinking something similar for Jenny? A ‘find your place’ thing so she can decide whether she wants to be a girlfriend or a girl that happens to be a friend? That seem good?”

Kevin nods. Mona continues, “I have no idea for Ootah. I probably need more time with her. Craig is getting ‘apologize and mean it.’ Tegan is getting something like ‘get in touch with your feelings.’”

There, Kevin interrupts, “I’d change the general sentiment to either ‘get in touch with your sexuality’ or ‘get in touch with your romantic feelings about Mona.’ Leaving it so vague is bound to result in Tegan pursuing her ill-advised revenge on the audience instead of something productive.”

Mona stares at Kevin for a moment, then sighs, “Picking up on subtleties is not Tegan’s strong suit. You’re right. I should try to talk with Gaia and Tessa for their quests. I don’t think I even got around to assigning Tessa one last round, which was dumb and bad of me. For Andromeda, something about making some friends? I know she’s really worried about the endgame monster thing, but she seems too isolated from everyone.”

Ophelia speaks up, “Table talk during some Leylines games is what I would recommend. About half of my moms play, most of them pretty well. Winter and my elven sisters play, too, both the version from your home and the local one here. I do prefer the one from here; Wenches at the Post makes a much hornier game.”

“Huh. Okay, I will run these ideas over with everyone tomorrow morning, plus whatever I can come up with to suggest for everyone else.”

Kevin mostly tunes out the rest of the lunch conversation, as Mona pesters Ophelia about the card game. Kevin does appreciate some of the card art the sea elf looks up for them. The Bukkake Vortex art is ridiculous, though...

Mona showers and (luckily) changes out of her tacky foam T-Rex head hat and clashing T-shirt with some guy on it. Kevin does not want anything to do with a property called Wai-Fu Quest. With that done, they head down to the training grounds.

Nyadia, Lyra, and Summer are all waiting, all clad in their armor. Mona is, as expected, drooling over the three girls, especially the bare torso of Summer; Summer is doing well to hide her irritation at Mona behind a customer service smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.

Nyadia introduces the lesson as Kevin gets dressed for it, donning the basic set of split mail and grabbing a shield. As a tank, he needs to be able to hold back multiple foes to give his allies space to lay down the magical hurt. So, he is to keep both of the elven sisters at bay, striking as he can.

Nyadia thereupon presents him with a very strange practice sword. “From what my wife tells me, this is a khopesh, an ancient Egyptian blade. It is the most similar in shape to your Crescent Blade of the practice weapons we could find.”

Kevin gives it a few practice swings. Feels about right. Strange design. Then again, the Crescent Blade has a bit of a weird design too. Not that there is anything wrong with that...

Nodding, he gets into position. Mona is to represent the back line. If one of the elf girls touch the Mistress, he fails. No pressure, right?

A week of training has taught Kevin a lot about the system that guides them. Knowing that he is likely not doing anything physical tonight, he goes all out. He activates his Channel Divinity: Peerless Athlete feature and cast Heroism on himself right before the exercise begins. The experience is unnerving in the best way possible. It is as if his body is only limited by his mind. His reflexes are faster, his vision sharper, his muscles more responsive.

Summer charges first; Kevin knocks her slightly off-balance with the force of his blocking. Lyra tries to dash around, only for the practice khopesh to smack into her shoulder hard; she’s forced to turn around. He engages the fighter.

The back and forth continues. One elf tries her best to distract to let the other go for their objective, only to meet with a sword slash in the back. Kevin repositioning, keeping himself between Mona and the elves. Mona scurrying around, trying her best to keep out of reach. The minutes feel like hours.

Eventually, the ladies call it, sitting down and panting.

“Good job, Kevin! That was sooooo cool!”

Kevin feels the effect of Guidance cast on him. He summarizes the experience for Nyadia, who nods.

“You keep working hard, you’ll be a terror on the battlefield.”

Kevin: Training Session Critical Success (Broadsword expertise 7 XP / 10 XP)

Kevin: +7 XP (Training Session)

Kevin feels exhausted but satisfied as the divinity effect fades. “Any chance I’d get to practice with my actual weapon?”

“Outside of delves and challenges? I’ll pencil you in to spar with Tyalangan again next time.”

Gulp!

Mona: Weekly Bounty Update – Spend one-on-one time with every contestant (1/10)