Do you Miss me, Miss Misery?

Good morning Aphrodite

Ugh. Luke was instinctively wishing his AI assistant a good morning now. Of course, a part of him was curious to see what would happen if he raised Aphrodite's affection level to the point where she was allegedly dateable but, with five real life hot women already on his love list, did he really want to spend his valuable time attempting to romance an obvious chat bot?

Good morning to you too, Luke. And thanks for checking in with me. I'm starting to look forward to our little conversations.

I actually had a question for you.

I thought you might. Fire away!

Is sex the only thing that unlocks on four hearts?

Luke realised the phrase "the only thing" sounded absurdly ungrateful when used in reference to full sexual intercourse with someone as gorgeous as Stef, but it felt like there should be even more new opportunities presenting themselves when reaching such a landmark, considering all the benefits he had unlocked by getting her up to three.

No, there are other things too. The user guide doesn't tell you everything because it would probably be overwhelming for a new user to have all of that information thrown at them at the start. That's why I'm here! There are quite a few new options that unlock on four hearts - like 'Sexual Videos', 'Sexy Requests' and 'Say Anything'.

What's Say Anything?

You can type whatever you want into the app and get a live video of the connection of your choice saying it out loud. You can even add extra requests, like having them naked and touching themselves while they say it. Those videos do cost tokens though.

Shit. That did sound hot. Luke was going to have to summon all the willpower he had not to cave in and start buying those tokens, or he might not be able to stop.

What's Sexy Requests?

Would you like your four heart connection to strip naked, put on bunny ears and twerk for you? Just ask, and there is a high chance that she will do it. There are limits, which will be different for each connection, but it's all free and in person. No tokens required. You just have to use the phrase "I have a sexy request for you" before you ask.

This was only making Luke's decisions around who he should focus on next even harder. Should he push further with Stef now to take advantage all those four heart benefits as quickly as possible? Or concentrate on bringing the others up to three hearts, thereby unlocking their more basic nudity options?

He didn't have time to think about that now, though. It was becoming increasingly hard to remember, but Luke did have a life outside the Romance Mechanic, and he needed to get to work. Though, even within that environment, he would be prioritising raising the affection level of two colleagues as well as his boss and, if he wasn't careful, would end up spending most of the wages he was working for on love tokens.

There was one more quick question he couldn't help asking Aphrodite before he left.

Am I really able to date you like the other girls, or was that just a joke?

I wouldn't joke with you about that. I'm completely, 100% romanceable. Keep raising my affection level and you'll soon find out for yourself.

How do I even do that though? How do I give you gifts, for example?

We're talking right now, that always helps. Not to fish for compliments, but I appreciate them just as much as the next girl. In terms of gifts, I like it when you buy love tokens. I consider that a gift to The Romance Mechanic, to support us in becoming bigger and better than ever, so we can help more people achieve the kind of love life they had never thought possible.

Of course she wanted fucking tokens. The carrot being dangled in front of Luke that he might somehow be able to eventually date Aphrodite was just another attempt to extract money from him.

He logged off without saying goodbye.

Still, his curiosity was seriously piqued now. He decided to check his map to see where Aphrodite was currently situated.

Huh? In his bedroom with him?

Luke looked around, feeling stupid for even doing so, to confirm he was alone. So, what? Aphrodite was living in his phone and therefore with him at all times? Is that what the app was suggesting? That was kind of cute, but also completely stupid. Luke needed not to let himself get preoccupied with a fucking AI tool, so put his phone back in his pocket and headed out of the door.

---

Luke had originally wondered if he needed to go through the formality of taking his connections on a date before he could move them on from the first heart and start working on the second, but that didn't seem to be the case. Heart number two was filling steadily for both Rachel and Diane just through working with them - coffee, snacks and friendly conversation with the former, completing tasks for the latter. There was a very realistic chance of getting each of them up to two hearts even before their first dates were scheduled, which would guarantee a make out session at the end of them.

It was Luke's other work colleague, Gina, with whom progress was proving slow. It wasn't so easy to find ways to make polite conversation with his ex, or pay her compliments, with not only the frosty atmosphere between them, but also Phil watching any interaction the pair had like a hawk, just waiting to swoop in and disrupt it.

However, Luke had one affection building ace up his sleeve when it came to his former partner - he knew what she liked. In fact, he'd found the perfect gifts for her just lying around in his flat. When Gina went on a kitchen break towards the end of the afternoon, Luke approached her with a large carrier bag he had brought from home.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"So, look. I've kind of migrated fully to Spotify now. I wondered if you wanted to take these off my hands?"

He held open the bag, and Gina peered into it to see all six of Elliot Smith's studio albums on vinyl waiting for her.

"What? You're giving those away?"

"They were yours as well really" Luke shrugged.

Elliott Smith had been one of the first things the former couple had bonded over. Luke had introduced Gina to the music of the late singer songwriter, and she had fallen in love with it just as immediately as he had. Back then, it had seemed like a sign the pair were a perfect match. They even used to joke that Miss Misery was their song, and that if they ever got married they would have their first dance to it.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?"

"Yeah, they're yours" Luke reached into the bag, handing one over at a time, to ensure they were counted as separate gifts "Roman Candle, XO, From a Basement on a Hill - that one was your favourite, wasn't it?"

He didn't need his phone buzzing at him every three seconds to know this was working.

Predictably, Phil soon appeared in the room, like someone had said his name in the mirror three times and summoned the cunt. He was going to try and put a stop to whatever this was.

"Hey, what's up guys?"

"Luke was very generously giving me some of his vinyl albums that he doesn't need any more."

"Oh.."

Phil strolled over to take a closer look. He could tell Luke was up to something, but it would appear too innocent to Gina for him to call it out. That was Phil's own signature move, and he didn't intend to get tripped up by someone else using it. The best he could manage was to try and be disparaging.

"You played me some of his stuff" he sneered as he peered over "It's so fucking depressing"

"It' beautiful" Gina corrected him "Thank you so much for these Luke, I'll treasure them"

Luke could feel his phone making a prolonged buzzing sound. How nice that Phil was going to be present for this.

"Would you like to go on a date with me sometime, Gina?"

"Sure, when?" she answered, without hesitation or any sense of awkwardness.

"Wooah!" Phil began to panic "You're with me now honey, you can't just go on dates with your ex!"

"I'm sorry Phil, I know this must be a bit weird for you, but I hope we can all handle this situation corporately. We do have to work together after all" Luke deadpanned, with the straightest face he could manage as he smugly made his exit "I'll text you, Gina!"

"You two getting on again?" Rachel asked as Luke returned, having seen him follow Gina quite deliberately into the kitchen with his bag of gifts.

"Better"

Luke tossed Rachel a chocolate bar he had picked her up from the vending machine on his triumphant march back to his desk, setting his own down next to his keyboard as he checked his favourite app once more.

Sure enough 'Vinyl Albums from Favoured Artists' had unlocked as one of Gina's 'loved gifts' in her fact file without Luke having had to spend a single token. If only he had spent three years living with all the other girls on his love list...

He then spotted something else that he must have missed the alert for.

Rachel was now on a full two hearts.