Battle of Five Armies, Part 2: An Evening In, Together

Daphne

“But, Beloved, I really want to go swimming!”

Harper kisses her beloved mermaid as the five of them head back to the castle (which is definitely the wrong way from the ocean). “Sorry, but we can’t at the moment. Just because the sahuagin have retreated, doesn’t mean the shore can be reopened. There is a chance that they will regroup and return, especially if the troglodytes or the gnolls breach further into the city. We also need to be on standby. As soon as we have finished repelling The Hunger, we will explore the waters of the port to your heart’s content.”

The rational part of Daphne understands. The irrational part that wants to be fully mermaid and freely swimming in a real ocean visibly pouts. Mattie teases as Harper gives the mermaid another kiss, “I am sure Sarge has a fun idea of how to turn that frown upside-down, Teeth.”

“Halt!” A guard at the gate to the Royal Quarter, different from the one that checked them heading to the docks, demands, “Present yourselves for inspection. IDs please.”

IDs? Do we even have IDs in this world? Harper steps in front of the others. “Guardsman, I am Tyalangan, Crown Princess of Nimlith Grove. You will allow me and mine through.”

The guard snorts, obviously not believing Daphne’s beloved for a second. “IDs, ‘Princess,’ now.”

The others are approaching. Aelene speaks up from down the winding street that connects the Market District to the Royal Quarter, “A few minutes, Guardsman, assuming you will not let my betrothed pass on her word alone.”

As Aelene summons her ID to present to the guard, everyone else checks in with each other. Daphne is happy that Harper picked her to go to the docks; the dark cave full of mostly mindless monster frog-guys sounds way worse than the fish-dudes in a barrel situation she dealt with. Soon, all eleven of them are in the Royal Quarter, with the guard’s extremely frightened apology.

The eleven of them converse while walking towards the castle. Some of the bits of chit-chat, like Tina bragging about how brave she was to Skye, are light and fluffy. Mattie trying to cheer up Glitterdust, who looks somewhere between sullen and scared out of her wits, seems a little darker. Daphne listens most intently to Harper’s worried musings with Aelene.

“I guess we need to get IDs soon? How much paperwork are we all going to have to deal with for that?”

“I am very skilled at completing paperwork, Mate,” Honey offers.

“I am sure we will need your assistance, Honey. Aelene, how should we go about this?”

“Mother will have a plan, if she hasn’t solved it already.”

In fact, Aelene’s mommy awaits for them at the castle gate, a retinue of guards surrounding her. She gruffly commands, “Daughters, report.”

Aelene goes first, detailing their efforts in the Drow District while handing over a report from the gate commander. Skye chips in with the tale of slaying the head baddie of the troglodytes. Kaelis eyes bug out from the report. “One sortie was all it took?”

“Yes, My Queen.”

“Tyalangan, report.”

“Sorry, Mother, but my gate commander was not in a good place mentally to write out a report, but the sahuagin are routed and their baron is dead. Slew him myself.” Kaelis looks annoyed at how informal Harper was. Aelene nudges her in the ribs, hissing, “Remember the protocols.” Instead of acknowledging the rebuke, Harper offers the severed head of a fish-dude to the Queen.

The Queen shouts to the castle guard, “Send a runner to the Port Gate and collect testimony. While I am sure my daughter did as she says, I want thorough confirmation.” A guard starts running towards the Royal Quarter gate. The Queen then turns to the harem, “Daughter, you have changed. Come. Food and rest awaits. You lot will head to Mithrilwood Gate in the morning. We will discuss strategy before you leave.”

Harper

Dinner was a bit of a spartan affair, which, given where the city has been with the siege, is to be expected. Some cured meats, some cheeses, hardtack, a few salt-packed fish. Harper is not looking forward to trying hardtack in the morning, when she’ll need the carbs. Still, everyone is fed and, with Josie’s infinite protein shake powder as a supplement, somewhat satisfied.

Life here is going to take some adjustments. This world works under a different system of logic. They will adapt to it, of course. And this world was not prepared for the Melancholic Sword-maiden of Nimlith Grove to return with ten women that want to share her bed. The one in her chambers is smaller than the one in the Master Suite (which would also have difficulty holding all eleven of them).

Tina is already adapting, as she leads the effort to form was she has dubbed “Pillow Fort Porn Fun 2” with several of the castle maids using whatever they can find. It’s kind of cute. Harper watches, sitting in her room’s (too cramped) soaking tank to rest her lungs before their first real “family meeting” post show. And they have a lot to talk about.

By the time Tina and the maids are done, Josie saunters over, “Ready to be sociable again, old lady?”

Harper rises out of the tank, feeling a little stiff, and nods, “I guess so, whipper-snapper.”

Several of the girls want to cuddle and/or sit in Harper’s lap as they all gather together. Some pout when Harper insists on keeping everything chaste until the meeting business is over, but none cause a big fuss.

“So, we all survived the show. Now, we need to thrive here, in our new world and new circumstances. Scarlet gave me a scale for mental stress. One is nothing, five is average, ten is worst stress ever. How is everyone feeling right now? Six for me, though the show may have warped my sense of average and I am still compartmentalizing stress down until the imminent war is over.”

The others think, then rate. Some, like Tina and Honey, rate an expected low to middling number. Some, like Scarlet and Josie, rate an expected high number. Some, like Mattie and Glitterdust, rate an unexpected high number. We all shed a lot of blood today; need to watch out for any of us falling apart. Funnily enough, the most surprising rating to Harper was Nyadia’s Two.

“When this crisis is over, we need to take some time to work through all this trauma. Please, watch out and help each other. One at a time, as you are able, tell us why you gave yourself that rating. Again, I am forcing myself not to feel the emotional impact of what I did today, but I killed a version of myself, a version of Skye, and a fucking producer today, and all of that happened before we were thrust into the situation here.”

The looks of panic washing over her companions that wasn’t there (especially Daphne) almost pushes Harper over the edge right there. Harper adds, “Ms. E is handling it. The only fallout we’ll have to deal with is helping clean up the producer messes as needed.”

“Notice you didn’t say anything about the hag in that, old lady.”

“Oh, killing her was a pleasure. Your turn, Josie.”

Thus began the real conversation. Josie feels guilty about the wolves she killed and the glee she felt doing it at the moment; she’s unsure if the animals were real and she’s worried that she is just as bad as the monsters she fought in the cave. Tina is mostly fine, just a smidge apprehensive about the future here. Skye feels awful about killing her evil counterpart, even if she was a literal demon before she was struck down; she’s terrified that The Lady will abandon her. Honey is confused about the purpose of all of this; the way her antennae are drooping makes Harper think that the lawyer is feeling a lot of second-hand negative emotions, incomprehensible to the nehtaliante, right now. Aelene is mostly fine, though she is concerned that the current stress may end up being too much for some of the harem. Mattie, who has been masturbating on and off all evening, basically shares with everyone that she has severe PTSD, barely contained by heavy drinking, from her time with the Reaper Division and the time after a mission is always rough for her; she adds that Scarlet’s “rub it out” treatment does help. The astral elf is also still pissed off about the poll results. Daphne was fine, at least until hearing about Harper’s fight with Mr. C; now she is really, REALLY panicking about potential fallout for her family here and her frenzy from the set. That gets Daphne a hug, which turns into a lap sit. Glitterdust is (perhaps rightly) afraid that Harper will never truly love her; she is worried that her efforts to be a nicer sexy dragon will never be enough. We need to work together on that. Takes two to love, just as it takes two to fight.

Scarlet merely says, “Pass. You know why already, love. We’ll talk through it when we are ready.” Harper nods, understanding. She had the emotionally hardest time during the challenge; I get needing time to process.

Nyadia’s explanation is the longest. She admits feeling a little frustrated about her performance today and a bit jealous about the others martial prowess, but mostly just feels relieved. When she describes her previous circumstances, the amount of anger and outrage in the room is such that Honey’s stringer drips venom unbidden and tears a slit through the pillow she was resting on. Wet feathers are sent everywhere.

“But all of that is in the past now. Mistr… Harper and Josie saved me from all of that. I am eternally grateful for both of you. Please be patient with me as I adjust to being owned by someone who cares.”

“I don’t own you, Nyadia.”

“I mean, technically, you own all of us, Beloved.” Not helpful there, Daphne.

“Well, I don’t intend to treat any of you as property. I want you all to be free to pursue your dreams. What can I do to accommodate you?”

That starts a surprisingly well thought out conversation. Harper is glad that most of the others have spent at least some time thinking about their future here, even if some of the ideas are strange. A combination of vine tending, evermead making, gardening, and (eventually) child care for Skye. A gymnasium business and (eventually) a supplement business to go with it for Josie (complete with some initial business plans). A spa business for Scarlet (though less formally planned out). Tina wants to go to magic college for real, which might be a challenge. Aelene wants to return to her duties as the Queendom’s Knight-Commander (though she wants to spend less time on the front line, for obvious reasons, including children as soon as possible after marriage). Daphne and Honey are both thinking about babies, in their own ways. Mattie has no plans in particular (outside of a very trolly idea about a garden), wanting to solve initial problems as they arise. While Nyadia’s lack of a plan is understandable, given she has had a little over a day to think about it (and basically no time during that day to think), Glitterdust is less than helpful, mostly just wanting to catch up with her shows. And then there is trying to be a good wife/girlfriend, queen, and mother, plus my season to prepare for and dealing with fallout from the old season as it arises. So much to do.

“Final big topics before retiring for the evening: we should take stock, see if the phones and whatnot still work. And we need to talk… logistics.”

“Logistics?” Mattie teases, raising her eyebrow with a little waggle.

“Sorry, but what is a phone?” Nyadia asks, helpfully ending the sex logistics pun onslaught that was about to come Harper’s way.

Once Nyadia checks her inventory and finds her tote bag, Josie offers to show her how the phone works. Nobody teases the lazzorkat. The phones still work. Harper also sees that the DM tablet still works, though the dungeon design tab is greyed out. She does a quick XP check and doesn’t bother to level Nyadia or Honey up more. Might as well wait until it would really help. We outleveled everything we fought here so much that the XP penalty probably overshadows the slight benefit of bumping them up a level each. Maybe the tab will work if we rebuild Dungeons for Damsels here? Something to ask Daphne about later.

Or the nosy mermaid in Harper’s lap will bring it up right now. “Oooh, you still have the DM power, Beloved? Neat! Aww, the level design thingy doesn’t work. I wonder…” The gears are turning in Daphne’s head.

“So, who’s going down on Sarge first?”

DM tablet sent back to the inventory, Harper has the suspicion that she’s going to be very, very busy tonight.

Party General XP Pool: +6 XP (Ultimate Selfcest +1)

Mattie

This is Mattie’s first time having her reverie in her new home and it is WILD! The sky is so blue and full of birds. The sea in the near distance is so beautiful and teeming with sea life. The city around them looks strangely natural, as if the earth wishes to mimic the works of elves and beastkin.

And there are so many, many, MANY beautiful elves here. Mattie knows she is drooling a little. Sarge snaps her fingers. “Hey, Mattie, keep it in your pants.”

“But there are so many hotties, Sarge!”

“The three of us are not enough for you, Ms. Mattie?” Mrs. Skye asks. Nerves glares for a moment, then returns to watching the entrance of the “room.”

The reason becomes apparent a moment later. Queen Prissy-pants storms in.

“I wish to speak to my daughters alone, Arquen Silmerana and I did not catch your name, commoner?”

“Matilda McMattersen, US Army Captain, Reaper Division. And Sarge wants us to stay.”

“A little short for an adult name, but it will manage, Hesta Matilda. Now…”

“Mother, my wife and Mattie stay. I assume that we did well at the docks?”

“Devastatingly well. The sergeant said that just 3 of you killed over 150 of the foe in a few volleys of spells? And the head you delivered did confirm that you killed it in embarrassing fashion. Last we checked, you were probably around Level 16. What are your levels now?”

“All of my companions but Honey and Nyadia are at the same level. I will allow you to check mine, Mother, but I do ask you to keep it secret. Whether they will let you check their level is up to them.”

Nerves instantly responds, “You may check mine as well, Mother.”

Mattie shrugs, “Curious how this ‘level checking’ thing works. You show me how to do it, then I check yours?”

Queen Prissy-pants presses kind of hard into that spot between the eyebrows and panic starts to set in her eyes. Mattie tries the same act and a little stream of information flows through her head, like a chyron at the bottom of a news feed. Level 6 Fighter. Mirror Knight. Then a bunch of gobbledygook that would probably make more sense if Mattie spent time studying her character sheet thing on her phone. Still, Mattie draws some conclusions. Slightly stronger than Nerves when she first appeared on the show. Probably freaking out ‘cause I hit the level cap.

“That can’t be right.” Queen Prissy-pants approaches Nerves and does the same action. The panic spreads across her face. She mumbles something about Nerve’s stats being too high. She straight up faints (which probably shouldn’t be possible in the reverie) when she starts to read on Sarge.

“Sooo, letting Mother read on us was a mistake.” Sarge states, deadpan.

“Mother needed to know. And she would have insisted if you just told her. It’s better this way.”

“I hope she’ll be nicer now.” Mrs. Skye mopes.

“She just needs time to adjust, just like we all do.”

“Hey, curious to see if orgasms in reverie will satisfy the exit binding conditions?” Mattie waggles her eyebrows and winks.

Sarge sighs, “And how do you propose we test it, considering that you dove into my crotch as soon as we started our evening activities?”

Oh. Good point. “Fine. We’ll test it later. I don’t suppose you’d like to have sex anyways?”

Good news: Sarge gives a succubus power enhanced kiss that blows Mattie away. Bad news: she follows that up with, “Sorry, but between you and Tina and Daphne before bed, I am kind of just wanting to chill this reverie. We need to work on some kind of sex schedule. Ugh. That feels so gross to say out loud. That was the whole point of talking about logistics before we devolved into an orgy. Not that we actually talked about it yet. Someone started the adult fun times too soon.”

Mattie ignores the accurate accusation, “The whole one Sarge, ten ladies to please conundrum?”

“With ten sets of timers to track. And always the lingering threat of more with Pack Tactics.”

Mrs. Skye cuddles into Sarge, whispering, “Don’t worry, my lady love. We’ll figure it out.”

Sarge cuddles back and sighs, “I know we will.”

Scarlet

Scarlet spent the time between the gang falling asleep (or into reverie) until the elves of the harem wake up quietly talking to Honey, a Daphne pressing herself into the oread’s torso so tight that she’d be unable to breathe. Good thing she doesn’t actually need to breathe anymore. Talking like this is weird, but she manages. Honey is pretty difficult to read; her outlook is just so alien that it boggles the mind. Still, Scarlet wants to make sure that the nehtaliante is included in the harem properly.

So, when the queen barges into Harper’s chambers (with six armed escorts) maybe 10 minutes before she expected the elves to be up, Scarlet sees them. Scarlet tries to sit up, being only somewhat successful until she pries Daphne off and finds the nearest body for the mermaid to death cuddle with instead (a lightly snoring Tina).

The oread stands up and attempts a curtsy. She whispers just loud enough to be heard, “Good morning, Queen Kaelisterie. I’m Scarlet. Can I help you with something? Harper, I mean, Tyalangan won’t be up for another few minutes.”

“I need to speak with my daughter in private. I will wait.”

“Tyalangan is a pretty open book. I’m sure she would not mind you talking with all of us here.”

When the queen just glares, Scarlet tries a different tactic. “I am a good listener if you want to talk. You look worried. If I understand what is troubling you, maybe I can help?”

Another glare. When the four elves awaken (Skye in tied up mode), they see the stare-off. Harper gets up and allows herself to be pulled aside. Five minutes later, the queen leaves and Harper sighs into the bathroom. The three women with their complete faculties join her. Harper hops into the shower, quietly adding, “If you want to talk about that, come join me. No hanky-panky.”

Aelene and Scarlet join in instantly. Mattie, grumbling, decides to join soon thereafter. The shower is barely big enough to accommodate all four of them. The cascading water steams as it slides down Scarlet’s obsidian freckled skin.

“Mother saw my level and wants to abdicate the throne as soon as possible. She also wants me to be examined by the clerics here for budding divinity.”

While Scarlet feels confused, Mattie and Aelene are both digesting that. The astral elf speaks first, “So, when you broke the level cap…”

“It likely made me an immortal quasi-deity in this reality, yeah.”

Fuck. What does that mean for all of us eventually? “And you could be becoming a literal goddess?”

“I mean, I am not planning on pursuing enough worshipers to make that happen, but maybe?”

Double fuck. Aelene finally speaks, “Do you feel ready to lead our people?”

“Not yet. And I don’t think I will be for a while. While I have memories of a life here, I need time for them to feel real. And we need to finish figuring out the whole harem thing outside the show. I told Mother that much. We caught her in a really foul mood yesterday. She wants to talk with all of us over breakfast. Help me keep everyone civil?”

When everyone nods, Harper gives each of them a kiss. Then she Misty Steps out of the shower. “I’m going to resolve Skye’s rope transformation for the morning. We have a couple of hours if we want to start figuring out the sex schedule proposal.”

Sex schedule?

Aelene

Mother’s table is usually much fuller, both of people and of food. All of her advisers and her friends among the nobles normally gather around for meals. And the table usually holds so many succulent dishes. Now? Now it is just her and the eleven in the harem. Not even a servant in the room to refresh drinks. More cured meats, hard cheeses, hardtack. The closest thing to luxury here is some fruitcake, smelling of the evermead used to preserve it.

Aelene doesn’t need luxury. She is a soldier first and a daughter to the queen second. She sits on the left hand of the queen and eats some hardtack.

Lady Tyalangan sits on the queen’s right hand, as is proper for her heir, actually trying the hardtack. Aelene sees that her betrothed can handle the preserved bread well enough. The high elf nods in satisfaction.

“How can you eat that?” Lady Silmerana whispers.

“Need the carbs.” Lady Tyalangan whispers back, “Also, they are just really dense saltine crackers.”

Tina, mouth full of fruitcake, giggles and says, “If you need carbs, try the fruitcake! It’s great! Why do people joke about fruitcake being terrible?”

Mattie, also with a mouthful of fruitcake, answers, “‘Cause too many people don’t make it right back home. No booze, weird mutant candy ‘fruit,’ yellow cake mix from a box? No thank you.”

Both Aelene and Lady Tyalangan sigh at their bad manners. At least I am not embarrassed alone. Josie growls, “Tina, why are you cheating on your diet?”

“I could die today!”

“Raise your hand if you could bring Tina back from the dead somehow.” Five hands go up. Tina’s ears go down. Harper stifles a laugh.

Mother does her usual routine after she eats, going around the table to say a few words to everyone sitting, starting with Lady Tyalangan. Her betrothed stands and follows Mother, introducing each harem-sister as they go. So Lady Tyalangan can follow protocols when she wants to. Mother is almost… apologetic. Lady Silmerana is gracious. Most of the others behave. When she finishes the walk around the table, Mother stands by her chair to declare, “Ladies, thank you for bringing joy to the eyes of my daughter Tyalangan. I hope to develop a deeper relationship with each of you. No matter where you came from initially, this is your home now. Please, help me save it. Let us discuss the strategy we have worked out with the Heart-Taker clan. I have horses prepared for you all when we are done.”