The crippling post-nut clarity sets in

Exhausted, I crumpled down onto the bed next to her, my thoughts just as much of a mess as Charley’s new sheets now where.

I just had sex with my stepsister, an hour or so after our parents were in this very room, putting everything together. After we just spent the whole day as a family. The whole time, the taboo nature of it all had added to my arousal tenfold. But now the arousal was gone, and all that was left was the clarity. For the first time since … well, our first time, I felt guilty about this.

“That was … intense,” I muttered.

“Sorry,” Charley replied sheepishly, still a bit breathless. “I might have gone overboard a little. It’s just that after the pregnancy thing we did, I kind of wanted to push our boundaries a little.”

“Uh-huh,” I replied. “Well, consider them pushed.”

She went silent for a second. “Sorry,” she repeated quietly. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Once I started, I just kind of got caught up in the moment.”

I reached over, realizing I’d made her feel bad, and squeezed her hand gently. “No, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you feel like you did something crazy – I meant intense in a good way. I promise. It was all pretty fucking mind-blowing. It’s just, going forward I think we can still have fun without including the kind of dirty talk, fetish stuff that makes us question all our life choices after.”

Charley smiled. “Roger that.”

I still felt a little guilty. “You’re really something else, you know.”

“I hope you mean that as a compliment,” she replied, eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, I do. Not many people are willing to put themselves out there, even if they might get embarrassed. It’s … kind of admirable.”

“Well, I’m flattered. Always good to be reminded I’m hornier than most.”

I rolled my eyes at her. “Just take the compliment, Charley.”

“Yeah, okay.” She paused. “I’ve never really done something like this, you know. It’s always been kind of plain in the past – people you sleep with at this age are too worried about messing up, the other person going around and telling everyone what a shit lay they are or spreading some weird shit they’re into. But I think this secrecy thing is kind of a blessing in disguise. If I mess up, the only person who’ll ever know about it is my dork stepbrother.”

“You always have to ruin it by being mean,” I grumbled.

She laughed. “What I’m trying to say is, I feel comfortable with you.”

“Oh. Well … me too.” It was true – I always felt comfortable around her. Even before, with all my self-imposed awkwardness and guilt, she had always been the easiest person in the world for me to talk to and hang out with. And even if it was only in a sexual context, it still felt pretty cool to hear she felt the same way.

I could already feel the negative emotions from before kind of just … floating away. Talking with her just put my mind at ease. I still didn’t really understand how it was so simple.

I cleared my throat. “Um … I should head back. As supportive of our bonding time as Mum is, it’s getting pretty late.”

“Sure,” Charley replied.

We both gathered up our clothes and got changed, and Charley walked with me to her front door. It was still a little bit trippy, Charley having her own place – truly the end of an era. But I was still excited about what was to come. Honestly, as I turned the latch I kind of found myself not wanting to leave.

But I opened the door and turned to say goodbye anyway. “See ya.”

“Hey …” she hesitated. “We’re good, right? You know, to … keep things as they are.”

“Still hung up on the **** thing? I thought you said you didn’t care if it was just your dork stepbrother who knew.” When she looked away bashfully, I reached out to squeeze her shoulder reassuringly. “Yeah, of course we’re good. It just took me by surprise is all. And for what it’s worth, I think you’re a great big sister.”

She rolled her eyes and pushed me away, groaning. “Alright, alright. Just get out of here.”

I grinned back. “Too soon? Okay, too soon.”