Advice from a Big Titty Goth Girlfriend

It turned out, when I wasn’t running around all over the hotel trying to double check that things were getting done for the events I was going to be responsible for later, I could get a hell of a lot more done than usual.

By the time lunch came around I had the signed contract back from Jay and her business partner Shawn, Ash passed on that Jacob was in to act as the dealer for the party, my email inbox was currently on 0 unread emails, I had three more client meetings set for next week and everything for my events next week were locked in except for the wedding cake delivery time for the Paolostappo wedding next Saturday.

What that meant, though, was that I had time to second guess myself.

I dodged a conversation with Tan, who was starting to realise how much trouble he was in with Jonas’s extra bookings and the wedding prep that was supposed to be starting that afternoon, by saying I was heading out to a lunch meeting and couldn’t stick around to talk him through things we’d already covered earlier in the week. When I glanced back while passing through the glass doors out of our area of the officers he was standing there looking like a lost puppy.

It took effort not to go back there and fix his bullshit, but the guy needed to sink or swim at some point and I’d tried my fucking damndest. And he had Doug to go to still, he just didn’t want to go to his boss and admit he was underwater.

My gut said that I should go down to see Dayana, but I still hadn’t figured out what the fuck had happened between us earlier that morning. So instead of heading her way, I went out the back of the Casino all the way to the staff parking lot and climbed into my truck. Once I was in there I sighed heavily, the heat of the day having made the interior a bit of a dry sauna, and I turned over the engine to get the AC running before pulling out my phone.

It was weird to feel like I had options all of a sudden for who to call and talk things out. Before this week there had only been two people I would have really talked to about weird stuff like this - Cass or Dayana. A distant third, if somehow I needed it, would have been my sister. This was about Dayana, and my sister didn’t know anything about my current weird relationship stuff, so Cass should have been my go-to.

But for some reason I felt like I needed a different perspective. My fiancee’s word vomit when she’d been talking about Dayana in her App Notes had been… complicated. And I’d tried not to dwell on them, but with what I’d been feeling like I was noticing, it was hard not to.

Becca would have given me practical advice, but she was taking care of Wanda and lacked some context that would take a while to explain. Ami, Zenya, and Leia had almost no context, and for all that I adored each of them I didn’t feel like they would be as good at problem solving this out. Well, depending on her mood, Zenya might problem solve for me with some mothering or with her horniness, and neither of those would be helpful for my current mindset.

I called Cattie. She was the only one of the girls who had actually met Dayana.

“Good afternoon, Robbie,” she answered after the second ring.

“Hey, gorgeous,” I sighed, the tension in my shoulders relaxing almost as soon as I heard her voice.

“Are we alone?” she asked.

“I’m in my truck, no one’s listening. You?”

“At home,” she said, then cleared her throat. “Good afternoon, Master.”

I grunted softly, closing my eyes and smiling as the AC continued to cool everything down. “Catherine,” I groaned. “Don’t do that to me.”

She chuckled warmly. “Sorry, Master,” she said, this time with it coming out a little more casual instead of filled with sexual heat. “What’s up?”

“Baby, I need some perspective here,” I said. “In more ways than one. Girlfriend perspective, female perspective, and maybe Knock some Sense into me perspective.”

“O-kay, I can try all those,” she said. “What’s this about?”

“Dayana,” I said, then let out a sigh. “We had a weird… moment, I guess, earlier.”

“Did you two kiss or something?”

“No,” I said. “No, not a moment like that. Well, not- No.”

“You’re being super clear and making it totally easy to help you out here, Tiger,” Cattie said sarcastically.

“OK, so- some minor backstory to today; ever since I got back to work after the trip, I feel like I’m kind of second guessing things. Well, not things. People. At first I thought it was just my brain being all hopped up of sex hormones after the week we had there, and everything happening the way it did, but as the week’s gone on I keep noticing things. And I’ve been trying to be realistic because I know these people, and I’m not used to thinking of them like this.”

“Robbie,” Cattie said, cutting me off from my rambling. “Are you just now realising that women around you like to flirt with you?”

“I- Well, no? I don’t know if they’re-”

“They’re flirting with you, Tiger,” Cattie said. “Dayana is flirting with you.”

My jaw was hanging open and I had to lick my lips because they felt dry. “But…”

“Robbie,” Cattie sighed. “Dayana’s in love with you. Cass loves her because she knows Dayana had a bit of a thing for you but has always been super respectful of your relationship. Honestly, it was probably a bit of an emotional ego boost for Cass, knowing you were so dedicated to her and a woman like Dayana couldn’t sway you. Not on purpose, obviously, but I mean - she’s been going through a lot, most of it her own doing, and the subconscious is weird like that. But I met Dayana after she found out about you and Cass taking your relationship Poly. I saw what she looks like when she’s talking about you, and how she talks about you. I saw the look in her eye as she got some details about how we got together. She’s always flirted with you, Robbie, and yeah, you’re just now realising it, but she’s probably doing more now.”

“That’s… not…” True? Was it?

“What actually happened this morning?”

“We went over what happened with the Russian guest last night, and she was kinda pissed off just like you and most of the other girls,” I said. “Then we, um, talked about work a little, and I told her I needed to be out early because of flying to help support Wanda, and she questioned that. And yes, I know what I said next was what caused the weirdness, but I said something along the lines of ‘You can’t tell me if Cass and I had a bigger issue on the trip and I called asking you to fly out, you wouldn’t do that for me’ and she made it clear she didn’t like me comparing our relationship to mine and Wanda’s like that. I tried to explain it’s not the same thing, but loving one person doesn’t mean my love for someone else is less. And she also kind of threw it in my face that I was so close with Wanda after having sex with her, where it took us years to get to how close we were.”

“... Jesus Christ, Robbie,” Cattie sighed. “I mean, usually you’re pretty fucking great at being in tune with the emotions of the people around you, but you really fucking stepped in it.”

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“You told a woman who has loved you from afar for a couple of years at least that you love her different than the married woman you slept with on a vacation and are about to fly out to see in her time of need - and I know it’s not like that, I’m just saying how it could get boiled down. You do realise how that would make her feel, right?”

“That’s if she’s actually in love with me, and I just… We’re best friends, Cattie. We have love for each other, she’s not in love with me,” I said.

“Are we in love?” she asked.

“Of course we are,” I said immediately.

“When did that happen?” she followed up. “When did we go from being good friends because of Cass, to having love for each other, to being in love with each other?”

“I- Um, I don’t know for sure?” I mumbled. “I had love for you at least before we heard Heather being a bitch to you outside of our cabin on the boat and pushing bad BDSM stuff. How Cass and I both felt about that made it clear you were part of our chosen family at that point. And I fell for you…”

I didn’t have a specific answer. It wasn’t when we had sex. It wasn’t when we made things official. I’d already loved her before those things. It wasn’t when I’d met that stupid bet during Heather’s Dare game, I’d made that bet because I was already in love with her, I just didn’t realise that’s what was going on yet.

“Love is messy,” Cattie said. “You know that. I definitely know that. I’m in love with my best friend’s fiance, who helped me realise how abusive my relationship was and who I immediately jumped into a Sub-Dom relationship with. That’s messy. And I know I’m so fucking in love with you, but I don’t know when it happened either, Robbie. What I can tell you is that when I saw Wanda wearing your shorts, I was super fucking jealous. And that sounds kinda silly, but it’s true. Maybe it switched and started tipping when I kissed you during that game the first night of the trip and I felt that spark in my chest that I hadn’t felt with Heather for a long while. That feeling that you were the right person to be kissing, that you cared about me along with being hungry for me. But… I don’t know. So how do you know she’s not in love with you, and just feels love for you?”

I let out a heavy sigh, leaning forward far enough to press my forehead to the steering wheel. “I can’t without properly talking about it with her,” I said.

“Exactly,” she said. “But I’m telling you, she’s been flirting with you this whole time, just lightly. Now she’s flirting with you harder. And it’s probably never been intentional, and she’s probably as confused about your conversation earlier as you are.”

“OK,” I said. “I’ll go talk to her now.”

“No!” Cattie said.

“What? Why- I’m about to leave for the weekend.”

“That’s why not,” Cattie said. “Jesus, Robbie. You can’t have a big heart-to-heart, reveal-your-inner-desires talk with her and then immediately fly off to be with someone else.”

“Am I supposed to leave it hanging all weekend?” I asked. “That’s not fair either, and this way we’d… I don’t know?”

“It’s been hanging all week, and for a couple of years before that,” she said. “It can hang for another couple of days. Or you can do the bigger thing.”

“I can’t not go to Wanda, Catherine,” I said.

“No, not that. God, Robbie, you think I’d tell you to do that?”

“No, but my head’s all fucking twisted around right now,” I groaned.

“You need a blowjob, that's what you need,” Cattie snickered. “You got used to plenty of us girls taking care of your needs, didn’t you, Master?”

“Not funny,” I grunted.

“Sorry,” she laughed, and I could hear her teasing grin in it. “The big dramatic thing you could do is go to see her, in her office or somewhere private, and tell her how twisted up you are after your conversation, and that you couldn’t leave without doing ‘this.’ And then you kiss her like you kiss me.”

“That’s called sexual harassment in the workplace, Cattie,” I said.

“Only if she considers it harassment,” Cattie countered.

“I can’t just kiss her, Cattie. Because of our history, and what it could do to mess up… everything between us. But also because it’s not fair to anyone else in our relationship,” I said.

“You do remember we're calling it an orgylationship, right?” Cattie snorted. “Robbie, we all know we’re sharing you, and we all know this is new for you. I know I’m fully committed, and so is Cass. Most of the others I’m pretty sure about too, and the ones I’m not I just didn’t connect with as much on the trip to know one way or the other. Cass wants you to connect with more women, casually or if they’re interested in the relationship. She told us there was at least one more person she had in mind that would probably want in, and you know what? I’m not going to confirm or deny if it was Dayana, because I want you to explore things too. Cassidy is fucking stupid for starting all this, but I fucking love her for it too, and so far I’ve only seen good happening from her opening up your side of your original relationship. I like Dayana, I think she’s cool, and I also think she’s attractive - I’d have no problem playing around with her in your bed if she was interested, especially if we’re sharing you between us. And we already know she’s respectful of others, so…”

“When I called you for perspective I was kind of expecting you to talk me down from feeling like I was being flirted with,” I said, shaking my head as I sat in my truck alone.

“Surprise, I’m the best girlfriend-slash-submissive personal slut ever,” Cattie said. “Giving you what you need, not just what you want or expect.”

“I still can’t just walk up and kiss her,” I said. The idea of it was kind of appealing in a melodramatic, cinema kind of way. And the idea of actually kissing Dayana was… it felt like an odd shaped object in my mind, like something I could conceptualise but couldn’t quite figure out the feel or weight of. Like imagining the taste of a food I’d never tried before but that had been described to me. Holding Dayana in my arms, feeling her body cradled by mine as I kissed her, was a smoky, spicy-sweet treat that I was realising made my mouth water even though I’d just realised it was something I could actually try.

“Then don’t, and leave it hanging for the weekend, Tiger,” Cattie said. “But my vote is to kiss her. Throw caution to the wind, man up and show her you mean business, and then give her the business. Just not with your dick at work, she wouldn’t be able to get anything done afterwards and people would see the ‘just had the best fuck of my life’ written all over her face.”

I groaned wordlessly and Cattie laughed again.

“I love you, Master,” she said.

“Fuck, I love you too, Catherine.”

“Anything else I can give you some perspective on?”

I was scared to bring up Vanessa, not wanting even more encouragement to follow temptation at work, so I avoided that. “I had a hot Japalombian flirting with me earlier,” I said instead.

“A- What?”

“She was half-Japanese, half-Colombian,” I said. “Which was info she shared, I didn’t ask. Five foot nothing, petite with curves. Long black hair.”

“Sounds like a hot, exotic little package,” Cattie chuckled.

“She was wearing all white,” I added. “White sneakers, white denim high-waisted shorts like the ones Cass has in regular denim, tight white crop top.”

“OK, now I’m interested,” Cattie laughed.

“White ball cap,” I finished.

“Oh,” Cattie exhaled, and then barked one big laugh. “Oh, no. She had your kryptonite.”

“OK, it’s not my kryptonite,” I said. “I just like the look on you, and you inspired a whole revolution.”

“You know one thing we didn’t do?” Cattie asked. “We never had sex while Cass and I were wearing the caps.”

“Put it on the list,” I chuckled.

“I will,” she said. “So how did you meet this Japa- this little hussy?”

I snorted at the word, knowing she was being silly and not disparaging. “She’s the promoter I hired for the Party of Doom. She signed on to do it, so hopefully she has the connections she says she does.”

“So there’s another woman at work who has the hots for you,” Catti giggled.

“She doesn’t have the hots for me, she just asked a flirty question at the end of the meeting whether I’d be participating in the party or not, and when I said no she said that was too bad because it was sure to be a show.”

“What was her name?”

“Jay,” I said. “Which I assume is short for something.”

“Rob-bie and Jay, sitting in a tree,” Cattie started saying in a sing-song voice.

“Not a chance,” I cut her off, rolling my eyes and laughing. “She’s not even a coworker, she’s a contractor.”

“Which means that her contract is up on… Tuesday night?” Cattie asked.

“You are a bad influence on me,” I sighed.

“Only because you’re such a good influence on me,” she said sweetly. “This girl is different from Dayana, obviously, but you have my vote to go for it if she’s into it. More than a hook-up, we’d want to know about her first though.” The ‘we’ in there almost felt like a Royal we, the way she said it to refer to all the girls.

“I’ll keep that in mind, but I really doubt anything comes of it,” I said. “I just figured you’d be tickled to hear I got flirted with by a cutie in a ball cap and actually realised it happened.”

“Consider me tickled pink,” she chuckled. “So are you going to ask me about Vanessa, too?”

“What?” I asked, feeling like maybe she’d been reading my mind. “Why would I ask you about Vanessa?”

“Oh-kay,” she said in a ‘Yeah, sure’ sarcastic voice.

“Vanessa and I are just friends,” I said. “And sometimes she scares me enough I even wonder if we’re friends at all.”

“You’re the only person she gets along with in a company of, what, at least a few hundred staff?”

“OK, to be fair, she recognises that Dayana is very good at her job,” I defended both women. “And it’s not like she interacts with nearly as many people as me or Dayana, either.”

“I’m hearing a lot of excuses,” Cattie teased. “Cass showed me a picture of you three together, she’s super pretty in that sort of severe, high-strung way where she’d claw up your back while you fucked her silly.”

“Catherine,” I sighed. “I’m not- She’s not-”

“Robbie, I love you, but you’re kind of easy to read when you get flustered,” Cattie said sweetly.

“OK, fine, I’ve been wondering if she’s been flirting with me too,” I said. “But it’s been even less than Dayana.”

“Well, from what I know of her, don’t just walk up and kiss Vanessa,” Cattie said. “That might be the worst thing you could do.”

“Oh, really?” I asked, putting on the same voice she’d used for the ‘Oh-kay’ a moment ago.

“Fine, you know that,” she snorted. “You aren’t completely useless with women.”

“Eight partners, Cattie,” I sighed.

“And counting,” she said with a grin. “But fair, you’re excellent with women, especially when you know you can get out of your own way. Focus on Dayana, and maybe this other promoter girl, just be Vanessa’s friend and leave space for the two of you to dance a bit of the seduction foxtrot.”

“The- Really?”

She laughed again. “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know if I do,” I chuckled.

“Just be there for her,” Cattie said warmly. “Like you are for me, and Wanda, and Terra. The others too, but mostly us. The ones with trauma. If Vanessa is as tightly wound and scary as you say, she’s that way for a reason. Respect that and things will shake out the way they should.”

I’d always thought of Vanessa as just being Vanessa, and maybe that she had a touch of psychopath in her like the way top CEOs were. I’d never thought that maybe Vanessa was the way she was for some other reason. That… made me feel weird, thinking maybe Vanessa’s cold, calculating behaviour was a reaction to something awful.

“So be a good friend and leave space for Vanessa, but give Dayana a Romcom Kiss,” I summed up the conversation.

“Pretty much, stud,” Cattie said.

“You do realise this entire conversation has only twisted my head around more, right?”

“When you see Wanda and Becca, give ‘em both a big hug from me,” Cattie said. “Especially Wanda. If I didn’t think you two needed some space I’d be driving up there myself. I might next week once you’re gone.”

“I will,” I promised. “And I’m sure she’d appreciate it. Becca too.” I sighed heavily, checking the clock on the dash of my car. “OK, Catherine. I better get going. I love you, and God I’m missing you.”

“I love you too, Master,” Cattie said. “Have a good flight and be safe. And maybe consider jerking off before you see Becca and Wanda, we don’t want you popping too fast because you haven’t had a blowjob in thirty-six hours.”

I sighed heavily and she hung up as she was laughing.

Maybe Zenya would have been the right person to call. A little less context could have helped on that one.

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