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The Weight of Change, Part 2
Andy found Liesa in the southern courtyard, pacing in slow, angry orbits around a shaded table. She had changed into an old Brussels marathon T-shirt and running shorts, both items clinging to her with fresh, excruciating tightness. Every muscle of her body seemed to conspire against her: even her irritation manifested as pure theater, each stomp of the foot rolling into a hip-sway, each pinched fold of her arms pressing her breasts together with pinup precision.
She was muttering to herself in Flemish, the words spiky and fast, but he didnât need to understand them to guess the meaning. Two benches away, Dawn perched on the backrest, ears up, chin in her hands, watching Liesaâs circuit with gentle concern. Sam hovered nearby, hands in her pockets, shifting from foot to foot as if waiting for a problem that might be hers to fix.
Andy waited for a break in Liesaâs loop, then stepped into her path. She saw him, sighed, and promptly turned a quarter-circle to avoid him. He moved again, intercepting. This time, she faced him with arms crossed, shoulders set, but her new transformation betrayed her: her chest rose and fell in perfect cinematic rhythm, and when she cocked her head in exasperation, the motion was pure invitation.
âYou do realize,â he said quietly, âthat your anger is coming off as⌠kind of devastatingly hot?â
She rolled her eyes. âIs the worst part. I just want to walk like a normal person, and instead I look like am about to film a perfume ad.â She glared down at her own legs, as if she could discipline them into behaving. âIs not how I wanted to stand out.â
Dawn snickered from the bench. âItâs pretty impressive, though. If you ever need a distraction, just walk into a room and pout.â
Liesa groaned, burying her face in her hands. âDonât even joke. I had to ask Riley to help me down the steps because I kept⌠undulating. Like an eel.â
Andy reached out, resting a hand on her shoulder. âYouâre still you, Liesa. No transformation can take that away.â
She shot him a skeptical look. âEasy for you to say. You didnât just try to put on sunscreen.â
He grinned, then let the smile fade. âIf it gets bad, you can tell me. Or Sam. Weâll figure it out together.â
Liesaâs mouth twitched, almost a smile. âI hate that it actually helps, when you say things like that.â
Liesa looked at Andy for a moment, then away, as if afraid her face would give away how much she needed to hear it. Her arms, stubbornly crossed, pressed her breasts into something barely contained by the old race shirt. She relaxed them an inch, maybe less.
âIs not like I want to be a sex cartoon,â she muttered, folding her arms tighter as if to will her body into compliance.
Andy kept his hand steady on her shoulder, not moving, just letting her feel the solidity of his presence. âYou can still run circles around everyone here,â he said. âEven if your hips have to lead the way.â
She made a noise, halfway between a scoff and a laugh, then squared her stance. âMaybe I will pole-dance for you.â
Dawn piped up from the bench. âI dunno, Liesa. You could weaponize it. Like, if there was a challenge, youâd destroy everyone.â
Liesa glared at her, but the effect was neutralized by the involuntary flick of her hips, which seemed to emphasize everything she was trying to downplay. âWeaponize this,â she said, gesturing at herself with exasperation. Even the gesture was somehow sensuous, her elbow leading into a slow undulation.
Sam, whoâd hung back until now, stepped in. âIf it makes you feel any better, I canât stop thinking about the new round of transformations, and all I got was⌠alcohol and plastic surgery.â She grinned, but it didnât quite reach her eyes.
Andy caught her glance. He knew Sam hated being vulnerable, but here, among friends, she let it show. He nodded at her, subtle, then turned back to Liesa.
âGive me a hug,â he said, opening his arms.
Liesa looked at him, surprised, then at her own body as if expecting it to betray her. It did: she stepped forward, and the contact of their bodies was instantly electric. She wrapped her arms around his waist, the press of her breasts unmistakable through two thin layers of fabric. Andy hugged her tight, anchoring her.
He heard her sighâfrustrated, but also relieved. âYou see?â she whispered, voice muffled against his chest. âEven this is⌠too much.â
âNot too much,â he said quietly. âJust right.â
He looked up and caught Samâs eye. She grinned, but it was a little brighter this time, as if sheâd taken something from the moment. He jerked his chin, and she came forward, wrapping both Andy and Liesa in a three-way embrace.
Liesa hesitated, caught between the press of Andyâs arms and the unexpected warmth of Sam against her back. The hug was a strange sandwich, and it worked. Her breath slowed, the rhythm of her body syncing up to Andyâs heartbeat through his chest and Samâs gentle squeeze around her ribs.
For a moment, Liesa let herself melt into the contact. Her hips relaxed, but the transformation had no off switch: her entire body still telegraphed sexuality, every curve pressing in all the right places, her bare legs tangled with Andyâs jeans, her arms roped around his shoulders. If anything, being held made her more aware of the ridiculous way her body responded. She let out a sharp exhale, somewhere between relief and mortification.
âSee?â Sam said, chin resting on Liesaâs shoulder. âThereâs nothing wrong with you, schat. Andy and I are both professional weirdos. Youâre just finally on our level.â
Liesa looked down, face buried in Andyâs T-shirt. âYou say that, but is not you who has to live with being⌠like this.â She drew a finger in the air, then flopped it, as if her own body bored her. âI am tired of being so much. Even when I am tired, I am too much.â
Andy squeezed her tighter, careful not to crush her. âYouâre not too much. Thatâs the best thing about you.â He felt the tension bleed from her shoulders, bit by bit.
Liesa took a shuddering breath, then, quieter: âYou really do not mind?â
Sam snorted. âBabe, if you could see the way Andy is looking at you, youâd never worry again.â
Andy felt his face flush, which only made Sam grin wider. Liesa let out a helpless laugh and banged her head lightly against his collarbone. âYou are both crazy.â
Andy rested his chin on her hair. âMaybe. But I know Marissa is probably heading to a cold shower right now.â
Sam barked a laugh, a real one this time, and Liesa finally gave in to the humor. Her body shook with a laugh that rolled through all three of them, making the embrace go a little sloppy around the edges, a tangle of arms and laughter and quick, accidental squeezes.
Liesa, now more relaxed than Andy had seen her all day, allowed herself to lean fully into him. Her hair, which was always just a little wild, tickled his jaw. She looked up and met his eyes, her own green and glinting with unshed tearsâof relief, maybe, or gratitude.
âThank you,â she said, voice raw. She turned to Sam, not quite able to let go. âBoth of you.â
Sam let the moment hang, then said, softer: âYou donât have to be perfect, Liesa. You just have to be with us. Thatâs all.â
Andy loosened his hold, careful, as if easing a glass bird from his arms. Liesa shifted her weight and let Sam cradle her for a second longer, then wiped her nose and tried to put herself back together.
He watched the two of themâSam anchoring Liesa, Liesa letting herself be held. Andy reached up and smoothed Liesaâs hair where it had gotten mussed, then, with a sudden impulse, pressed a kiss to her head. It was soft, meant as comfort, but the effect on Liesa was immediate: she trembled, then buried her face in Samâs shoulder, laughing and crying at the same time.
Sam caught Andyâs eyes over the top of Liesaâs head, eyebrows raised in a silent, approving salute. She mouthed âthank you,â and Andy nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
The three of them stood like that for a few more breaths, a strange little battery, before Andy finally wriggled free, and straightened his shirt. âI should let you two have time alone,â he said, warmly.
Dawn, still perched on the bench, clapped softly. âI give it a ten. You three could hug for Belgium.â
Dawnâs ears flopped in concert with her giggle, the heels of her feet dimpling the wood, hands braced on either side like she might leap at a momentâs notice. Andy sat next to where she was perching, letting Sam and Liesa enjoy a bit of closeness. Dawn looked up at Andy, then the others, and in one practiced hop, landed neatly in his lap.
Her entire body relaxed, like sheâd dropped anchor in a safe harbor. âBenches are the worst,â she said. âItâs like thereâs a rock, right here, no matter what angle I try. But thisââ She patted Andyâs thigh, then wriggled to settle herself more comfortably. ââthis is luxurious. Five stars. I can see why Arabella said it would be addicting.â
Liesa laughed, dropping into the bench seat next to them. Sam sat on the other side, hands folded behind her head. âIâm offended that you ignored my lap for Andyâs, you know?â Sam called, mock jealousy in her voice.
Dawn grinned, the tips of her teeth just slightly visible. âArabella did say his would be the best one, though!â She leaned back against Andyâs chest, ears splaying out like a pair of parentheses around his face.
Andy put his arms around her waist, careful not to trap her tail. âYou know youâre welcome here anytime,â he said, feeling the press of her spine against him.
The bench was barely wide enough for two, let alone three, not counting her, but Dawn didn't seem to careâshe'd just shifted sideways and plopped herself fully onto Andy's lap, legs tucked crosswise like a kid at a birthday party. Her bunny tail, which he'd only recently learned to appreciate as more than a costume, pressed soft and warm against his thigh. If Andy had ever wondered what pure comfort looked like, this was it.
She draped one arm over his shoulder and rested her head against the side of his, ear brushing his cheek, so close he could hear the soft, rhythmic thump of her pulse. Her other hand dangled off his knee, fingers tracing lazy shapes on the denim. The girl radiated contentmentâexcept for the tiny quiver in her foot, a tell Andy recognized. Something was unsettled, even as she pretended to melt.
Dawn caught him watching. âYou know, you make a terrible bench,â she said, voice pitched for just the two of them. âBut a world-class pillow.â
Andy smiled, letting his own tension dissolve. âIâm glad I can be of service. You looked like you needed a soft landing.â
She snorted. âItâs not even close. The wooden bench was like sitting on a pile of rocks, and the second I try your lap, itâsââ She wriggled, grinning. ââlike those fancy foam beds from the mall. No contest.â
Sam, lounging on the other side with her feet propped on a planter, made a face. âDonât let him get a big head, Dawn. Iâm still recovering from the last group hug. Heâs got, like, negative bone density. I think heâs actually made of marshmallow.â
Liesa, who had finally settled beside them, snorted hard enough to draw a glare from a nearby lizard. âIs true. He is soft. You could bounce a coin off his butt, but it would never come back.â
Dawn looked at Andy, eyes bright with mischief. âYou see? Even the scientists agree. Youâre a walking mattress.â
Andy gave an exaggerated sigh of defeat. âI accept my fate. But for the record, I donât think you actually weigh enough to make a dent.â
Dawn bopped him on the nose with her finger. âFlattery wonât get you out of bunny seating duty,â she said.
For a while, none of them said anything. The air was heavy with late morning warmth, and the sound of water burbling from a hidden fountain lent the moment a kind of hush. Andy felt Sam and Liesa relax, their bodies syncing up with Dawnâs gentle, even breathing. Liesaâs fingers curled around his arm, not possessive, just present. Sam slouched further, her posture slipping from âready to springâ to âcontent to watch the world go by.â
Dawn shifted in his lap, this time not from discomfort but from the weight of something unsaid. Andy felt the question before she voiced itâa growing density in her chest, a need to confess.
âYou ever get scared,â she said, low and quick, âthat something you do could actually hurt people? Like, not on purpose, but⌠accidentally?â
Andy heard the wobble in her voice, saw her eyes drift to the courtyardâs edge. He thought about all the things heâd doneâintentional and notâthat left marks on people. âAll the time,â he said. âEspecially here.â
Dawn nodded, then looked at Liesa and Sam as if to anchor herself. âIâm worried,â she said, âthat I might make things worse for everybody. With my newâuh, transformation.â
Liesa turned, her green eyes sharp. âWhat transformation?â
Dawn took a breath, the tips of her bunny ears trembling. âThe Way to a Manâs Heart? Arabella said⌠when I cook now, or bake, the stuff I make will carry whatever Iâm feeling when I make it. Like, if Iâm happy, itâll cheer people up. But if Iâm sad, or anxiousâŚâ She trailed off, hugging herself tighter. âIt could make everyone else feel it, too.â
Sam let out a low whistle. âWhoa.â
Liesa was silent, processing.
Dawnâs ears drooped. âI donât want to accidentally make people sad,â she said. âI mean, food is supposed to make people happy, right? Itâs the only thing I was ever really good at. And now if I screw up, I could just⌠spread it everywhere.â She sounded tiny, like she might collapse in on herself at any second.
Andyâs heart ached. âI donât think it works that way,â he said quietly, âI think you get to choose if your food has an effect, and what effect it has.â He just wrapped both arms around her and held her tight, rocking gently until her shaking slowed.
Andy just wrapped both arms around her and held her tight, rocking gently until her shaking slowed. Dawnâs bunny ears slowly un-drooped, then stood at half-mast, a subtle semaphore only Andy and maybe Liesa could read. She let herself relax against him, burying her nose in his neck. Her breath came cool, then warm, then cool againâlike she was still deciding how much of herself to trust with the air.
After a minute, she spoke, her voice so low Andy felt it more in his collarbone than his ears. âWhat if I canât control it? What if itâs like, I donât know, emotional food poisoning?â She pulled back enough to look at him, brown eyes glossy but alert. âI donât want to be the reason anyone here feels worse. You know?â
Andy squeezed her tighter. âYou wonât. If anything, youâll be the reason everyone feels better. Thereâs never been a time when your food didnât help someone. I think Arabella just supercharged your talent.â
Dawn blushed, the pink blooming from her nose up her cheeks to the tips of her ears. âYouâre so corny,â she said, grinning in spite of herself.
âCorny, but right,â he said, brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. He wasnât sure when it had become natural to do that, but it felt less like a gesture and more like a promise now. âBesides, I trust your cooking more than Mildredâs any day of the week.â
Liesa, who had been following their exchange with a practiced nonchalance, leaned in and rested her head on Andyâs shoulder opposite Dawn. âI do not care what you make,â she said. âIf it is from you, it is good. Always was.â
Dawn reached out and squeezed Liesa's handâa brief, gentle pressure that seemed to say everything neither of them needed to voice anymore. Dawnâs smile widened, her whole body unclenching like sheâd just passed a secret test. She shifted, nestling into Andyâs lap and laying her head on his chest, her bunny tail wiggling as she got comfortable. Sam scooted closer and threw her arm across the backs of both Andy and Liesa. âIâm with them,â she said. âEven if you gave me a cookie that made me cry, Iâd eat the whole damn batch.â
Dawn burst out laughing, the sound lifting something heavy from Andyâs shoulders. He didnât realize heâd been holding his breath until it escaped, soft and content.
âOkay, okay,â Dawn said, wiping her eyes. âI get it. You guys are too much.â She looked up at Andy, her lips close enough that he could feel the brush of each word. âBut youâre the worst offender, Andy Cooper. You always know what to say to make people feel better. I think thatâs your superpower.â
Andy rolled his eyes, trying for a smile, but she caught the faint stutter in his jaw.
âNo, really,â she said, bopping his nose again with her finger. âItâs freaky how you just⌠get it.â She tapped his cheek for emphasis, then wriggled closer, her thigh sliding across his in a way that made his thoughts scatter like spilled rice.
He cleared his throat, tried to refocus. âIâm just glad youâre okay. You deserve to be happy, Dawn.â
Her eyes softened, then grew serious. âCan I tell you something weird?â
âAlways,â he said, and meant it.
âWhen I was little, and my mom got sick,â Dawn began, voice a little unsteady, âI was so scared of making things worse that Iâd only cook happy foods. Like, I made banana bread even though I hated bananas, because I read somewhere that the smell made people feel calm. But when my abuela diedââ She hesitated, ears drooping again. ââI baked her favorite cookies, and I let myself be sad. And the weird thing is, that was the first time my family actually talked about missing her. Like, we didnât have to pretend everything was okay.â
She looked up at Andy, searching for the right word. âSometimes sad is the only way you can get through the day, you know? I donât want to mess that up. For anyone.â
Andy nodded, feeling the old acheâgrief and hope and the fragile grace of people who survived in spite of the world. âYou wonât,â he promised. âBut even if you do, Iâll be there to eat the sad cookies with you.â
Dawn let out a long, contented sigh. âCan I stay here a little while longer?â she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.
âStay as long as you want,â Andy said, the words catching in his throat with a raw, happy ache.
She was silent for a minute, then: âI should probably go try it, right? See what happens if I cook something now?â
Andy hesitated, not wanting the moment to end. But Dawn was already gathering herself, the anticipation plain in the bounce of her legs. She pushed herself upright, then turned around on his lap so she faced him, straddling his thighs like she was about to conduct an interview.
âWish me luck?â she said, her face inches from his.
âAlways,â he said again.
Dawn leaned in and kissed him, quick and soft, then popped back and made a show of brushing imaginary dust from her shorts. âIâll be back,â she said, pointing at Liesa and Sam. âIf I burn the kitchen down, you guys are accessories.â
Sam grinned, giving Dawn a double thumbs-up. âGo forth and knead the worldâs problems into bread, or whatever.â
Dawn hopped off Andyâs lap, landing with a lightness that almost made her float. As she left, she paused, looked over her shoulder, and said, âThank you, Andy. For being the best bench.â
He laughed, more at the flush in his cheeks than the words themselves.
When Dawn disappeared into the house, Liesa let out a low whistle. âSheâs really going to do it, isnât she?â
âYeah,â Sam said, more thoughtful than usual. âSheâs going to heal all of us, one pancake at a time.â
Andy found Riley on the old stone bench under the eaves, the one Chloe has jokingly referred to as âRileyâs Thinking Seat.â The marble was cold even in the morning sun, but Riley sat with her knees hugged to her chest and her head bowed, like she was waiting for a verdict. Her hairânow a living thing that pooled around her feet and crawled up the columnsâwas a tangled net, half wild, half elegant, and all of it vibrating with a nervous energy that mirrored her own.
He approached quietly, not wanting to startle her, but the hair noticed before she did. The tips flicked in his direction, then curled away in a slow, tentative wave. Rileyâs head came up, and she studied him through the dark curtain.
âHey,â he said.
She smirked, but it was a tired smirk. âYou look like shit, Cooper.â
He shrugged, sitting on the opposite end of the bench. âItâs been a week.â
Riley huffed, tried to tuck her hair behind her ears, but a stubborn lock resisted, then snaked back over her shoulder. She gave it a sharp tugâonly to gasp as the sensation rippled through her whole body. Her face flushed, just a touch, but she didnât let go.
Andy watched the show, equal parts fascinated and heartbroken. âIs it always that sensitive?â he asked.
âOnly when Iâm worked up.â She grimaced as the ends of her hair spiraled around her fingers, pinning her hand to the stone. âWhich, lately, is always.â
He waited, letting her struggle with the hair. After a minute, he reached over and gently untangled her wrist, one loop at a time.
Rileyâs breath slowed as he worked. âYou have a thing for rescuing lost causes?â
Andy kept his focus on the hair, which seemed to obey his hands but not hers. âOnly the ones that punch above their weight.â
She snorted. âYouâre full of it.â
He smiled, then let the smile drop. âIf it gets unbearable, you should tell me. I can ask Arabella for an adjustment.â
Riley shook her head. âThat would be defeat. Besides, transformations can be⌠upgraded, right? You told me that.â
Andy blinked. He hadnât expected her to echo his own pep talk back at him.
âMaybe itâs not a trap,â he said, âmaybe itâs a strength. You could use it.â
Riley looked at him, eyes hard. âYou sound like a self-help book.â
âSorry,â he said, but he didnât move his hand from the strands now coiled in his palm. âBut itâs true. No one else has hair that fights for them.â
She arched a brow. âOr gropes them. Or ties them up.â She paused. âThe last part⌠could be fun.â Then she glared at him. âDonât get any ideasâŚâ
He tried to laugh, but the sound stuck in his throat. âSilver linings?â
Riley sighed, then leaned back, letting the hair fall across her lap. She stared at him, expression unreadable for a moment. Then she looked away, twisting the hair around her finger, quieter now.
Andy was about to stand when Riley said, âI donât like her being here.â
He knew who she meant, but waited.
Rileyâs voice went softer. âMyra. Itâs not just what she did to Laura. Itâs what it does to you.â
He was silent.
She looked up at him, eyes sharp and wet. âIt hurts you, Andy. It hurts me, too. Itâs not fair, and I hate watching it.â
He exhaled, slow. âI know.â
Just then, Chloe approached, walking with careful steps. Her face was flushed, her hair in wild disarray. She glanced at Andy, then Riley, then back to Andy, her eyes big and wary.
âHey, Chloe,â Riley called, patting the bench between herself and Andy. âYou want in on the misery?â
Chloe winced. âNot for very long. Got my own misery to process, right now.â Her eyes flashed to Andy. âYou owe me a couple of firsts at least, Andy. Or you need to outdo yourself. Otherwise, Iâm not sure Iâll make it to the end of the round.â
She looked from Riley to Andy, then back again. "I was friends with her. Myra." Chloe's fingers twisted the fabric of her blouse. "I told her about the kiss. I was thirteen and stupid and thought she'd understand." Her voice cracked. "If I'd known what she'd do with itâ"
"You were a kid," Andy said quietly, cutting her off. "How could you know she'd twist it into something to hurt Laura?"
Riley's lips thinned. "Andyâs right. Doesn't change what she did."
Chloe nodded, eyes glistening. "No. But maybe it means you don't have to carry all this alone. None of us do."
Riley ran her fingers through her hair again, this time letting the strands wrap her wrist without a fight. âYeah,â she muttered.
Andy looked at both of them, the weight of their words landing heavy in his chest.
He realized, for the first time, that the anger heâd carried for so long wasnât just his. It belonged to all of them. He nodded, once, then got to his feet, leaving the two women on the bench together. It was time to start the task Arabella had given him.

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